Monday, September 27, 2021

Amadeus (1984)


Director
Milos Forman 

Cast
Tom Hulce - Wolfang Mozart
Elizabeth Berridge - Constanze Mozart 
F. Murray Abraham - Antonio Salieri
Jeffrey Jones - Emperor Joseph II
Roy Dotrice - Leopold Mozart
Simon Callow - Emanuel Schikaneder
Charles Kay - Count Orsini-Rosenberg

I've wanted to write about the 1984 Milos Forman movie Amadeus for years. That's not an exaggeration. Years! But I couldn't form my thoughts into words well enough. I struggled with expressing my opinions in such a way to the point were I felt my thoughts about this colossal film were properly constructed enough. I didn't just want to pick it apart or analyze it. But the only way I can really discuss this movie is to consider specific aspects of how Amadeus tells its story. 
Amadeus won eight Academy Awards including Best Picture for 1984. And it sits honorably at number 53 on the American Film Institute's "100 Years...100 Movies" list, sandwiched between From Here to Eternity and All Quiet on the Western Front.
This movie is so full of talent and genius (words I'm not using lightly) with its style, details, acting, casting, atmosphere, and structure. The history-based fiction in this film is remarkable in the way it's used to express a jealousy so strong it drives a man to madness. 
I've seen Amadeus many times since first watching it back around 1999. I've even watched the director's cut several times. And I've often questioned if I really understood this film enough to write about it. Amadeus is a movie I greatly respect, and I'm going to write about it regardless of me second guessing myself. 
It's a little funny that Francis Ford Coppola's The Godfather tends to sit on the lofty pedestal of film perfection, which I won't argue against. For me, Amadeus sits on one that's a few inches higher. Both directors are very gifted which goes without saying when considering the notable films each has directed. Forman for instance directed One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Ragtime, The People vs Larry Flynt and Man on the Moon. Coppola has Apocalypse Now and The Outsiders in his tally of films made.  
While Amadeus and The Godfather deal with two completely different topics, one thing that stands out to me about Amadeus is how intense the story surrounding the character Antonio Salieri is. It's really who the movie is about. 
The stereotype is that guys generally gravitate towards The Godfather, many of whom will hail it as the greatest of the greatest films. Perhaps The Godfather's depictions of strength, power, influence, wealth, and the polished corruption behind it all, so well depicted on screen, is what makes it such an engrossing film.
But the way Amadeus tells its story in such a unique way through the characters and music complimenting each other is absolutely impressive. I suppose it depends on relatability when comes to picking the better movie.

Plot

F. Murray Abraham as Antonio Salieri in Amadeus.
The film opens in the dead silence of a wintery night in 1823 Vienna, Austria. That quiet is broken as the agonizing voice of an old man cries out, "Mozart! Forgive me, Mozart. Forgive your assassin." 
An elderly Antonio Salieri (F. Murray Abraham) is found by his servants, bleeding on the floor with a self-inflicted slit to his neck.
Servants on foot carry him on a stretcher to a psychiatric hospital as the first movement of Mozart's Symphony No. 25 in G Minor plays. One quick cut away during this opening scene shows a ballroom were patrons are dancing to Mozart's score. It contrasts the severity of Salieri's self-inflicted damage with the harmony and uplifting mood of the jovial dancers thanks to Mozart's music, genius and spirit. In pain, Salieri glances up for a moment as though he can hear the music, and it's making things worse.
Night turns to morning. A Catholic priest, Fr. Vogler (Herman Meckler) arrives at the hospital to see Salieri, a classical composer and the Court Composer to Emperor Joseph II (Jeffrey Jones) of Austria.
When Fr. Vogler is shown to Salieri's room, he finds the old musician in a wheelchair, alone and bandaged, playing on a fortepiano - an instrument seen often in the film.  
As the priest tries to encourage Salieri to make a good confession, based on his anguishing cries the night before, Salieri simply tells him, "leave me alone." 
This is my favorite opening to any movie.
As the priest says he cannot leave a soul alone in vein, Salieri barks "do you know who I am?" 
When the priest responds "All men are equal in God's eyes" this is what grabs Salieri's attention enough to turn and speak with the priest, starting with his snide remark, "Are they?"
Salieri glares and shifts the conversation with, "how well are you trained in music?"
Fr. Vogler says he's trained a little as he studied music as a child in Vienna.
He then plays a game with Fr. Vogler, challenging him to a round of name that tune. 
Salieri plays a piece of music that the priest doesn't recognize, which turns out to be something Salieri wrote years ago.
He plays another piece of music that the priest is unfamiliar with. This tune is from one of his operas which is playing in Salieri's mind. 
"Can you recall no melody of mine?" he asks.
Then he smiles and plays another piece, and Fr. Vogler instantly recognizes it. In fact, he starts singing along to it.
"Yes, I know that. Well, that's charming. I'm sorry I didn't know you wrote that." 
With an "I told you so" look on his face, Salieri responds, "I didn't. That...was Mozart." 
It's Mozart's Eine Kleine Nachtmusik
The memory of whom forces Salieri to open up, beginning with his admiration of the musician that began when Salieri was a young boy desiring to be a composer much to his father's disapproval.
The story is told through flashbacks. 
Salieri's life changes after he prays what he calls the "proudest prayer a boy could think of."
During a mass one particular day, he lovingly gazes up to a crucifix. 
"Lord, make me a great composer! Let me celebrate your glory through music - and be celebrated myself. Make me famous through the world, dear God. Make me immortal! After I die let people speak my name forever with love for what I wrote."
In return, young Salieri offers God his chastity, industry, and deepest humility. (Humility - after begging to be loved and honored the world over even after his death. Seriously?)
And then, what happens next confirms in his mind that this is what God wants of him.
Salieri's father, who held him back from what doing what Mozart did, dies after choking during a meal.
Thus begins Salieri's answered prayers. Before he knows it, he finds himself in Vienna - the City of Musicians - where he works alongside Emperor Joseph II as his Court Composer. 
When he has his first encounter with Mozart, what he finds is nothing close to what he pictured his whole life. His first impression of Mozart is as an obscene and indecent "dirty minded creature." He spots him chasing a girl, Constanze (Elizabeth Berridge) on the floor of an empty room, telling fart jokes and making lewd remarks. This is the same gloriously talented musician he admired all his life. This is were the movie really begins. 
Salieri's infatuation slowly changes to his bewilderment as to why God would give a buffoon like Mozart such a miraculous talent. Meanwhile he, a faithful servant who is more than willing to offer God His due praise through music (while being celebrated himself the world over) has to beg for it. 
God answers his prayers, of course. But it's not enough.
This conversation between Salieri and Fr. Vogler begins in the morning. As the film progresses, morning turns into night. And when Salieri is finished, it's morning once again. 

Thoughts

Years back, I had a discussion with someone who claimed the movie was anti-God and anti-religion. That's not quite the case, in my opinion.
This claim of theirs was based on a scene where Salieri, driven by jealousy and pride, casts off religion by throwing his crucifix into a fire. It was also based on the ending, where this person claimed Salieri is made to look like the good guy at the end. 
Really? A twisted and consumed Salieri, who tried to kill himself and is now in an insane asylum, is made to look like the hero? Some people only see what the want to see.
Amadeus, the drama of dramas in my opinion, is based on Peter Shaffer's play, which is inspired by a play called Mozart & Salieri written in 1892 by Russian Playwright Alexander Pushkin. Therefore, there's not as much historical accuracy in the movie as some might think. But it's not meant to be historically accurate in the first place.
I admit it took me a while to really figure out the moral of the story.
Self-centered Salieri, who is a genius with music, allows his inflamed passion for greatness to get in the way of his talent. That part is easy to understand.
His pride and jealousy, and the consistent presumption that God has it out for him, drives him to an asylum. 
God gives him what he prayed for, but he didn't receive it in the packaging (figuratively speaking) he expected. 
So, he views Mozart as some kind of God-made mockery of his own talent, and an obstacle to the greatness he believes God and the world owes him because he made a superfluous vow in exchange for personal greatness. He changes his goal to be a great musician into destroying God's work.
He wants to wallow in his narcissistic stew of anger and self-pity that fuels his hatred for God and Mozart, both of whom he wants to be like. 
He wants to be Mozart because he truly believes he can be better at it. Mozart's music, after all, is Salieri's second love after himself. Since he's not Mozart, he comes to the conclusion that he must then be a mediocrity. 
"I am their patron saint," he tells the priest.
The problem is the praise he receives isn't like Mozart's.
Mozart may be immature, but so is Salieri...even more so.
In one scene, Mozart is invited to meet with Emperor Joseph so he can commission an opera from him. Salieri composes a small march of welcome for Mozart to be played on the fortepiano.
Before the scene ends, Mozart comments how he has the tune already in his head after one hearing.
He plays the tune back, and says in front of Salieri that the tune seems to lack. And then right in front of him and the Emperor, he improves it off the top of his head. 
The audience can see the hatred build on the face of Salieri, thanks to the phenomenal acting of F. Murray Abraham. The seen is capped with Mozart's giddy laughing, which sounds like glass breaking. 
It's a laugh that Salieri tells the priest later in the movie, "That was not Mozart laughing, Father...that was God. That was God laughing at me through that obscene giggle."
The scene shifts to Salieri glaring bitterly at a crucifix on his bedroom wall. He's like an angry and dejected child taking his anger out on God. 
"Gracie, signore" he says mockingly.
The movie isn't an attack on God. It's an attack on want versus need. It's a depiction of how far jealousy can take someone. It's a sketch, almost, of the section in St. Matthew's Gospel that says, "What does it profit a man, if he gain the whole world, and suffer the loss of his soul." Good question! What does it profit a man? And the world is what he was asking God for. He more or less got it, and he wasn't happy. His own hell started pretty quickly.
Mozart is like a very early modern celebrity musician or rock star. Fame can be a dangerous thing to any person no matter what century they live in. Actress Carrie Fisher said fame is obscurity biding its time.
He's incredibly gifted. He squanders his money frivolously. He drinks heavily. He loves parties. He's immature. His passions consume him. He ruins his reputation. And he has been adored and paraded since he was a boy. It's not the first time such a tale has been told about celebrities up until now. But despite all that, to Mozart's credit, he doesn't squander his musical talent. He embraces it and takes it as far as it'll go.
What impresses me most about Amadeus, to the point were I hold it in such high regard, is the way it uses music. Music is much more than background noise telling the audience how they should feel.
Music is used three different ways in this movie. And not all of it is Mozart's.
Some of it is used to convey emotions as soundtracks are meant to do. The Stabat Mater composed by Giovanni Battista Pergolesi is used in the early part of the movie when a young Salieri is praying to God for a gift in music. It was written in 1736 - 20 years before Mozart was born. It's in sync with the events on screen. 
At other times music indicates where Mozart is in his life, either physically or mentally, such as the scene where he performs his Concerto for Two Pianos in an outdoor concert for the Emperor.
Music is also used to show the audience what's happening in Mozart's head.
In the same scene at the palace of the Archbishop of Salzburg, Salieri is in attendance to hear Mozart perform. He has never seen Mozart in person until this point. He wants to read a sheet of music for Mozart's Serenade for Winds to gain insight into how he writes. 
As Salieri looks over the lines of notes, juxtaposed with old Salieri explaining the music to Fr. Vogner, we hear the opening of the piece with an unwavering oboe hanging on a single note until a clarinet takes over, and the oboe fades away. The music accompanies his descriptions. It all abruptly ends when Mozart snatches the sheet music off the stand. 
This way of depicting music is really used when Mozart is composing his Requiem Mass, the text of which brings to Mozart and Salieri a brief conversation on death and judgement, and Hell. Sometimes all Mozart can hear is the music in his head. This use of music provides insight. It's its own character in the story. 
Nothing is cheap nor are any corners cut in this movie. Not one note of Mozart's music was changed or altered for the sake of the film per the request of conductor Sir Neville Marriner (considered one of the world's greatest conductors) whose Academy of St. Martin in the Fields supervised and performed the score to Amadeus.  
Forman shot the movie in Prague and Kroměříž in the Czech Republic. He also filmed some of the movie inside the Count Nostitz Theater in Prague, which is the same theater Mozart's Don Giovanni and La clemenza di Tito premiered in 1791. Filming in the Czech Republic occurred during the nation's Communist era.
I'm really struggling to find fault in Amadeus outside of its historical inaccuracy. The movie doesn't claim to be a biographical film, though. 
Early rumors of a deadly rivalry between Amadeus Mozart and Antonio Salieri where boiled over when Pushkin, mentioned above, wrote his play. But from what I read, there's no evidence proving the real Salieri had it in for Mozart, and that he attempted to kill him.
Personally, I find the historical fiction of the film just as fascinating as the historical facts. 
While the acting is fantastic, especially with Tom Hulce and F. Murray Abraham perfectly cast, I particularly enjoy Jeffery Jones as the Emperor. 
He plays his character as a dignified leader. All the while, he seems to be taken by Mozart's uncouth personality (probably because he doesn't hear subjects dare to say "shit" in his presence ever) and his passion for his work despite the displeasure it causes within his own court. The Emperor is indulgent with Mozart and his work, even skirting his own decrees just to allow him to perform his Marriage of Figaro which the Emperor had previously forbidden
He clearly admires him while keeping on his royal face. It's a small detail in the movie that's full of magnificent settings and atmosphere. 
My God, this film is superb.
And before I forget, The Godfather is number three on that list of 100 movies. 
Anyways, to quote the Emperor, "Well, there it is." 

Wednesday, August 4, 2021

Pinocchio (2019)


Director
Matteo Garrone

Cast
Federico Ielapi - Pinocchio
Roberto Benigni - Geppetto
Alida Baldari Calabria - Fata Turchina bambina (Little Blue Fairy)
Marine Vacth - Fata Turchina (Blue Fairy)
Gigi Proietti - Mangiafuoco
Rocco Papaleo - Gatto (Cat)
Massimo Ceccherini - Volpe (Fox)

I haven't seen many film adaptations of Italian writer Carlo Collodi's famous story Pinocchio. 
As my wife will attest to, Pinocchio remains my favorite Disney film, followed by either Alice in Wonderland or The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad - I haven't made my mind up yet.
But despite my fondness for this story, and pretty much all things Italian, it's no revelation to say that Pinocchio as told by Walt Disney is a thin version of Collodi's story written in 1883. Anyone who read the book knows there's a lot to this tale, and a ton of characters audiences aren't introduced to in Disney's classic film. 
I admit a bit of a bias with this story as I have a love for things Italian thanks to the heritage I was born with from my mother's side. 
When the trailer for a new film adaptation of Pinocchio was releasedI had the impression right away that it's a faithful adaptation to the story, or as close to it as a movie can be.
The story ought to be familiar to most audiences considering millions have seen some adaptation of Pinocchio at some point in their lives, or read the book, or both.
Geppetto (Roberto Benigni), a poor woodcarver who lives in a modest Italian village, struggles to earn a living in his craft. 
A travelling puppet theater comes through town, and Geppetto is curious to see the detailed wooden marionette caricatures to be featured. Catching a glimpse of these puppets inspires him to create one of his own to sell for money. 
He visits a local carpenter who, unbeknownst to Geppetto, has acquired a solid piece of wood that moves on its own as though something or someone is inside trying to come out. 
Out of fear of this mysterious log, the carpenter gives it to Geppetto as a gift. 
Geppetto starts working on it right away. After carving out the head of his soon-to-be puppet, he sees the wood move. 
So, he carves out eyes, ears, and a mouth, and tests his creation to see if it can speak, which it does.
Excited, he runs out of his home happily declaring to all who can hear him that he has a son.  
Once he finishes his new puppet, giving it the name Pinocchio, he tries to teach him to walk.
But while doing so, Pinocchio runs away.
Geppetto can't run as fast, but still ventures out to find him. 
Pinocchio returns home before Geppetto comes back.
While waiting for his dad, Pinocchio makes himself comfortable in front of the fire. 
Federico Ielapi (left) and Alida Baldari Calabria in Pinocchio.
A house cricket (Davide Marotta), who has lived inside the house for a hundred years, instructs the puppet that children who don't listen to their parents will only go down a road to disaster.
Of course, this advice irritates Pinocchio. He tells the cricket to be quiet, and throws a hammer at him, striking the cricket in the face.
When Pinocchio sits back down in front of the fire, he puts his feet close to the flames and falls asleep.
Geppetto returns but can't get inside because the door is locked. His knocking wakes Pinocchio up. But Pinocchio can't walk because he left his feet in the fire too long and burned them off. 
So, Geppetto climbs through a window and fashions him with some new feet. 
The next day, he sends the wooden boy to school. 
When Geppetto leaves him behind, Pinocchio sneaks out and heads for the travelling puppet theater.
During the show, the marionettes on stage see him - a brother puppet - in the crowd and invite him on stage to embrace him.
The puppet master and theater director, Mangiafuoco, walks on stage infuriated the performance was interrupted. He takes Pinocchio and locks him up with the caravan. By the end of the day when Geppetto goes to take Pinocchio home from school, the caravan has already left town.
It doesn't take long before Geppetto figures out his son went to the puppet show and was taken by those involved in the production. So, he keeps travelling until he can be reunited again with his son.
During his journey to find his father, Pinocchio encounters a large array of characters such as a Blue Fairy who lives with a grandmotherly snail, a thieving cat and fox, a disobedient child named Lucignolo who takes him to the land of toys, and a giant dog fish. 
There's crucial lessons for the puppet to learn in his pursuit to become a real boy. The journey to that goal comes with the realization that decisions have consequences, and being real means fulfilling responsibilities.  
Pinocchio is an entertaining and well structured telling of the classic story.
Through uniquely antiquated style prosthetic wooden puppet make-up and a unique old-style atmosphere, the movie maintains a sophisticated whimsical nature in its setting and imagery. 
The animal characters, and classic style marionette puppets look like they popped off the illustrations of artists like J.J. Grandville or the Mother Goose pictures of Blanche Fisher Wright
More make-up is used than CGI. Most impressive is Maria Pia Timo's portrayal and appearance as the snail. Her approachable, grandmotherly appearance all while dragging a large shell on her back, slithering along the hard floors leaving a trail behind her which visitors consistently slip on as visitors, is clever and unforgettable. 
However, colors are faded and dusty throughout the picture. Nothing stands out in the atmosphere outside of the special effects, characters, and antique look. 
Italy is a vibrant and lively country, or so I imagine as I've never had the honor of visiting. The aspect of poverty and the poor is overdone with the film's near colorless settings. It's unfortunate. 
Even the Blue Fairy wears faded blue clothing and her hair is barely an icy blue color. 
The actors are energetic, enthusiastic and truly engaged in their roles.
By now, more that 130 years after the story was written, everyone over the age of 10 should know that
Roberto Benigni as Geppetto.
Pinocchio's goal in the story is to become a real boy. In this adaptation, he mentions his wish to the Blue Fairy, but the story focuses more on the necessity for Pinocchio to understand the idea of responsibility, how to carry out responsibilities, and that actions have consequences are as much a part of being real as flesh and blood is over his pursuit. 
The film isn't preachy nor beating its lessons over the heads of its audience. 
Still, it's a film that will surely insight questions among young children. My son and daughter asked me several questions, most of which began with "why", as we watched Pinocchio together. One scene in particular that had their attention depicts Pinocchio's school teacher (played by Enzo Vetrano) whip student's hands with a rod when they answer mathematical questions incorrectly. There's a lot for young minds to take in.
The movie is also the final film appearance of actor Gigi Proietti who portrays Mangiafuoco. The character is referred to as "Stromboli" in the Disney adaptation. 
And it's worth pointing out that Benigni stars as Pinocchio in the 2002 film Pinocchio, which Benigni directed. Now, he plays Geppetto. 
I haven't read the book in years, so I don't recall how the movie deviates from the story. And frankly, I don't care. I'm of the opinion a movie doesn't need to follow the book so closely as long as it respects the source material. Disney strayed far from Collodi's original tale, and still manages to be one of the best films in history. 
Pinocchio flows smoothly, with hardly a dull moment. Even though I know the story, I didn't find myself bored at any moment. 
This adaptation seems like it's made with care and respect for Collodi's vision especially as it comes from the country that gave the world the author and his puppet.

Tuesday, August 3, 2021

The Dirt Bike Kid (1985) - Video Rental Chicken Fat


Director
Hoite C. Caston

Cast
Peter Billingsley - Jack Simmons
Anne Bloom - Janet Simmons
Stuart Pankin - Mr. Hodgkins
Chad Sheets - Bo
Patrick Collins - Mike
Weasel Forshaw - Big Slime
Sage Parker - Mazie Clavell

Try to imagine all the parodies of 1980s movies, poking fun at their clichés, you may have seen in programs or movies. Think of standard characters found in 80s movies aimed at young audiences. Imagine bullies with unclear motives. Imagine a mysterious and seemingly wise man who knows something about a seemingly mundane object that possesses something more than meets the eye. Imagine a child hero. You could probably come up with images that are completely accurate though don't actually exist in any specific movie. 
The 1985 movie The Dirt Bike Kid is saturated with clichés and cheesy 1980s tropes. This movie has all of that stuff I mentioned above. Any satire of 80s films out there must surely pull some inspiration from this movie. So much so that I was a little embarrassed to post a review.
I came across this movie several times at California Video and thought about renting it. But, I never did. After all these years I've remembered the cover art depicting Peter Billingsley, whom I only knew from A Christmas Story, flying on a motorcycle over some random city. How could I forget this picture?
This movie definitely pulls from E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial and Disney's The Love Bug.
Director Hoite C. Caston said in the DVD commentary that it's inspired from the story Jack and the Beanstalk. 
In this movie, Billingsley plays Jack Simmons who's a typical T.V. watching, yet somehow imaginative kid, who lives with his mom, Janet (Anne Bloom). His dad died sometime before so it's just Jack and Janet.
Jack's mom gives him their last $50 to go buy groceries. On his way to the store, he stops by a dirt bike race.   
During the race, Jack sees one of the competitors, Max (Gavin Allen), riding a Yamaha YZ-80 (also known as a dirt bike for people like me who could care less).
The motorcycle performs poorly during the race, infuriating Max who yells at it and kicks it like a downed horse.
Jack takes interest in the mud-caked bike, wishing it could be his. A random mysterious old spectator starts telling Jack that the bike is special and magical, and that Max doesn't deserve a bike such as that.
So, Jack offers Max his mom's last $50 and the bicycle he rode in on, for the motorcycle.
Jack discovers the bike is self-aware, and indeed magical. In fact, the bike can actually fly. 
When he returns home with his new trade, his mom is naturally furious he blew all their food money on this thing. She confiscates it, puts it in the back of the family station wagon, and goes to sell it a local bike shop.
Of course, moms never "understand."
Jack goes to the bike shop later, asks to get the bike back from the owner, and offers to work for the cost. The owner happily agrees.
Meanwhile, Jack's little league baseball coach, Mike (Patrick Collins) is facing a financial crisis. His hot dog restaurant, Mike's Doghouse, which is the team sponsor is in dire straights as ruthless and self-centered bank owner, Mr. Hodgkins (Stuart Pankin) wants to tear it down in order build a second bank branch.   
Jack and his girl-loving, Playboy magazine reading friend, Bo (Chad Sheets) use this sentient bike and some computer hacking skills to help uncover Hodgkins' corrupt plans and save Mike's Doghouse.
Peter Billingsley as Jack Simmons in The Dirt Bike Kid.
Meanwhile, a motorcycle gang led by a guy named Arthur "Big Slime" (Weasal Forshaw) has it in for Jack because...he's a kid, I guess? There's no reason given as to why this motorcycle gang (all adults) hates jack and is out to take him down. 
The Dirt Bike Kid is such a ridiculously obvious story. It's one of the most archetypal movies of its decade I have ever seen as far as structure and storyline goes. I feel like I almost have to like it.
The film contains the innocent and loveable main character with his quirky and boob-loving buddy, a beloved town hangout threatened to be taken down by an evil and unsympathetic rich banker, adult bullies with completely unclear motives hell-bent on taking down the main character, and a story so predictable readers will probably gather what happens just by reading my short synopsis.
It's fascinating, even speaking as someone who lived through the 1980s, how cookie cutter a movie The Dirt Bike Kid is. 
I can't blame the film for these same old tropes. I think time didn't serve these aspects of the movie well. However, I can't imagine adult audiences in 1985 viewing this movie with a mindset far from mine right now in 2021. Or, maybe that's what they expected to see in a PG rated movie of the mid-1980s.
There's even a pie fight. That's comedy on par with slipping on a banana peel or shoving 20 clowns in a dinky car. 
Spoiler. At the end of the movie, when all is resolved, the bike loses its magic for Jack. Some other random kid takes interest in the bike which suddenly has its magic back. And also back is the same random old guy from the beginning who, once again, tells this kid how special the bike is. The term "forced" doesn't seem big enough.
And the fact that the bike is magic and can fly seems like a plot point that was thrown in at the last minute. There's nothing substantial to indicate this bike is going to be magic. Yes, the cover art shows Billingsley's character flying over the city. But the term "dirt bike" denotes racing and sweet bike jumps. 
And, yes, the movie's tagline begins with "if you're crazy about magic..." That's open for interpretation. 
The original title was Crazy Wheels. That actually sounds better as it places emphasis on the magic dirt bike rather than the "dirt bike kid." It denotes a uniqueness about the bike. If the movie title referenced the bike rather than the kid, then it would take away some of that apparent tacked-on placement of the magic flying self-aware bike.
Director Hoite Caston said the movie was made on an $800,000 budget, and sold 100,000 VHS tapes. One of them landed at California Video in Oakland, California's Lincoln Square Shopping Center.
According to imdb.com, this is Caston's first and only film he directed. Otherwise, he also directed episodes of a tv series called Not Necessarily the News. 
Honestly speaking, The Dirt Bike Kid is proof not everything from the 1980s is worth remembering. Still, this easily falls into that weird "so bad that it's good" category.

Wednesday, July 14, 2021

Haunted Honeymoon (1986) - Video Rental Chicken Fat

Gene Wilder

Cast
Gene Wilder - Larry Abbot
Gilda Radner - Vickie Pearle
Dom DeLuise - Aunt Kate Abbot
Jonathan Pryce - Charlie Abbot
Bryan Pringle - Pfister, the Butler
Peter Vaughn - Uncle Francis Abbot 


In the current tide of 1980s pop culture popularity, when the decade's favored movies and such are still seen on t-shirts, in toy aisles, on other random merchandise, and broadcast as cast reunions in magazines or news programs encouraging adults my age to tell everyone "I remember that," some movies of the decade haven't made it to that pinnacle of nostalgia for new generations. They remain buried under under mounds of these other movies. It doesn't matter if a movie is good as long as it's remembered as entertaining. 
One such buried movie is the 1986 "chiller comedy" Haunted Honeymoon. 
Surely, Haunted Honeymoon ought to be a movie that sprouted some sentimental appreciation over the decades in the midst of this 1980s trend. True, it was poorly received upon its release, but when has that stopped nostalgia? If Garbage Pail Kids: The Movie and Howard the Duck garnered more remembering, why hasn't Haunted Honeymoon? This movie has a lot going for it as far as nostalgia goes. 
It's Saturday Night Live alum Gilda Radner's last film appearance before her death in 1989 due to ovarian cancer. It has Willy Wonka himself, the late Gene Wilder both in the picture and in the director's chair. And it's the third time Wilder and his wife, Gilda, appeared together in a movie. Previously they co-starred in The Woman in Red (1984) and Hanky Panky (1982). Anyone remember those movies?
The movie also stars the late and legendary comedian Dom DeLuise in drag as Great-Aunt Kate. It's a role that earned him a Razzie Award for worst supporting actress.   
This is a movie that I often stumbled across and wondered what my experience would be if I talked my mom into renting it for me when we visited our local video rental store - California Video - back in the video renting days of the late 1980s to 1990s.
And though I have never seen it until a few nights ago, I have kept it in my mind as a movie to watch all these years later. Even though I hadn't seen it, I mentally had it placed among other 80s comedies such as The Three AmigosSpaceballs, Trading Places, History of the World Part 1, Fletch, etc.
The box cover image of Haunted Honeymoon has been taped (figuratively speaking) to the wall of my recollection like a poster in a bedroom.
So, I'm dubbing this movie "video rental chicken fat" and slapping my thoughts about it on this blog rather than on my horror blog, 1000daysofhorror.blogspot.com.
The movie centers on radio personalities, Larry Abbot (Gene Wilder) and his girlfriend Vickie Pearle, (Gilda Radner) who perform on a radio series, "Manhattan Mystery Theater." 
The two have announced during a show break that they're getting married. 
After this announcement, Larry is bothered by panic attacks while back on the air. 
Though Vickie thinks Larry is just nervous now that they're engaged, she's worried his anxiety could lead to their being fired from the studio.
Larry's sophisticated Uncle Paul (Paul L. Smith) thinks all Larry needs is some good ol' shock therapy to cure his anxiety. It'll be like curing someone's hiccups.
Meanwhile, Larry wants to have the wedding in his boyhood castle home. 
He and Vickie travel to the castle so Vickie can meet his family. 
At the house are his Great-Aunt Kate (Dom DeLuise), Uncle Francis (Peter Vaughan), and his cousins Charles (Jonathan Pryce), Susan (Jo Ross) and cross-dressing Francis, Jr. (Roger Ashton-Griffiths). 
The family butler, Pfister (Bryan Pringle) who's under the impression Vickie is hard of hearing so he shouts at her throughout the film, and his wife, Rachel the maid (Ann Way) are also present.
Larry's old fling, Sylvia (Eve Ferret) is now dating Charles. So, she's there. And Susan brought her husband Montego (Jim Carter), who's a magician. 
And honestly, pretty much all these characters (except, maybe, Charles) are forgettable. 
Gilda Radner and Gene Wilder in Haunted Honeymoon.
So, feel free to skip that paragraph. 
As Paul begins treating Larry, the only one who doesn't appear to be in on the treatment is Larry himself. Larry starts noticing strange events start taking place.
All the other family members are in on what's happening around the castle.   
The gags run mostly dry. 
I was left with barely any laughs after watching Haunted Honeymoon. The one time I laughed is thanks to a scene with Gilda Radner's character floating outside Larry's window chanting "Laaa-rrry." She suddenly breaks her chant with "this thing's pinching my butt!" 
Other than that, I was a bit confused as to what was happening and where it was going. 
While some jokes are just corny, others have a setup that makes the punchline obvious. I got to a few punchlines before the joke was over. 
In an early scene, Aunt Kate points out a priceless vase at the top of the staircase mid-landing in front of a large window. 
"That vase cost me $5,000. There are only three like it in the world," she says.
"Two," Pfister says.
"Yes...two."
Obviously, the audience knows something is going to happen to this priceless vase later in the movie. It wouldn't have been pointed out as rare and priceless if it wasn't going to be destroyed later. And the payoff isn't anything to look forward to.
As much as I love Wilder, and think of him as a great comedian, too many jokes in this movie just fall flat. 
In one particular scene Pfister asks Abbot about one of the other guests.
"Is he still married," Pfister asks.
"Widower," Abbot replies.
"Widower than what?"
"What do you mean, 'Widower than what'?"
"You said he was 'widower'!"
"He is."
"Widower than what?"
"I don't know what you're talking about. He isn't widower than anything."
"You mean he's just a 'wittle' man?" 
"That's right." 
"That's all I was asking." 
Another gag has Wilder frantically telling Pfister, "I'm telling you, I felt a cold, dead body lying beside me on the bed!" 
"I feel that every night. Warm brandy helps," Pfister replies. 
The punchline is obvious. They're like jokes written at the last minute for the sake of meeting a deadline rather than trying to make the audiences laugh.
Haunted Honeymoon reminds me a bit of the 1932 thriller The Old Dark House starring Boris Karloff and Melvin Douglas which is the classic story of strangers caught in a torrential rainstorm that forces them to be seek refuge in...well... an old dark house. It's a comparison I made while watching the movie.
I didn't realize Wilder took some inspiration from The Old Dark House until after I watched Haunted Honeymoon and did a some digging into the backstory of the movie's production.
Evidently, Wilder developed the idea for this movie while shooting 1976's Silver Streak. At that time, he had a vision for Haunted Honeymoon's opening scene, and built around it. 
And he not only pulled inspiration from The Old Dark House, he also wanted to make a horror comedy (or chiller comedy) similar to the classic horror comedies The Cat and the Canary (1939) and The Black Cat (1941), as well as the popular radio mystery serial The Inner Sanctum which aired from 1941 to 1952.  
In 1986, Wilder told the Philadelphia Inquirer, in an article called "Their Comedy, Alas, is No Laughing Matter," that while he wanted his movie to be a "chiller comedy," it turned into an "autobiographical psycho sexual comedy with music." Maybe that's its problem?
It sounds like the direction became muddled and confused, leaving audiences with a movie that doesn't know what it is. 
There's a song and dance number with DeLuise as Aunt Kate and Gilda Radner that's slightly amusing, but completely random and out of place.
Gilda Radner and Dom DeLuise
There was so much potential for DeLuise to create a comedically unforgettable character with Aunt Kate if he played the role differently, say, as a guy playing a woman. It could have been an underlying joke. But, though DeLuise is a comedy legend appearing in some of the best comedy movies out there, his performance as a wealthy, grandmotherly aunt feels dull and like mere imitation. 
Haunted Honeymoon tries to be a unforgettable comedy - it picks up in the second act of the movie - but it ends up falling flat in the end. It fails to impress.
There's also a running joke about someone in the home being a werewolf, but I don't recall that ever going anywhere. A second viewing is in order.
As much as I love the late Gene Wilder, I loved him better in that earlier comedy horror film - the one from Mel Brooks - than I did in this film.

Thursday, July 1, 2021

Buddy Buddy (1981) - Video Rental Chicken Fat


Director

Cast
Jack Lemmon - Victor Clooney
Walter Matthau - Trabucco
Paula Prentiss - Celia Clooney
Klaus Kinski - Dr. Hugo Zuckerbrot


If the movie The Private Eyes (1980), which I reviewed last month, is an obscure Don Knotts and Tim Conway movie, then the 1981 Billy Wilder film Buddy Buddy is the lost Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau film.
Again, back in the mid-video rental days of my life, I took an interest in exploring films made before I was born. One of those movies I loved, and still love, is the 1968 Neil Simon classic The Odd Couple. 
It not only introduced me to the real-life comedy style of Neil Simon and the movies based on his plays such as Barefoot in the Park, The Out-of-Towners and The Prisoner of Second Avenue, it introduced me to the collective comedic genius of Lemmon and Matthau.
Sometime back in the 1990s, I found a video cassette copy of Buddy Buddy on the rental shelf of California Video, the movie rental store I've mentioned on this blog before.
The only selling point for me was Lemmon and Matthau. So, I rented it. Not only did it broadened my experience in their comedy, it was also the first time I heard Matthau say "fuck" in a movie. 
After all this time, that's the only thing I remember most from this flick.
The day I rented Buddy Buddy was the first and last time I watched it.
After that, I never saw the movie again. I never found any copies of it on any movie shelf. I never saw it in any store where DVDs are sold. My local public library couldn't even find a copy through Interlibrary Loan because no library in my state has one. 
I searched the not-too-dark crevasses of the internets* for a copy. I inquired among folks in a Facebook page dedicated to "dead formats" to see if anyone was selling it. I checked Amazon and could only find a copy in Spanish. On eBay, VHS copies sell for nearly $50.
Finally, I found a DVD for sale at classicmoviesetc.com - a fantastic site for those looking for hard to find, or perhaps, out-of-print movies. (They're not a sponsor). 
Now, $13 later, I have Buddy Buddy in my hands for the first time since I rented it over 30 years ago.
This movie is a remake of the 1973 French film L'emmerdeur (A Pain in the Ass) which is based on the 1971 play Le Contrat by Francis Veber. 
Matthau plays a hitman named Trabucco who is carrying out a job eliminating witnesses against the mafia.
He's taken them all out. The last on his hitlist is Rudy "Disco" Gambola who's about to testify before a grand jury against other members of the mob.
To complete this last hit, Trabucco drives to Riverside, Calif., and checks into the Ramona Hotel across the street from the courthouse. His plan is to shoot Gambola from a room on that side of the Hotel, and sneak out. 
Meanwhile, Victor Clooney (Jack Lemmon), a television network censor, is suicidal as his wife Celia (Paula Prentiss) wants to divorce him for another man. 
Clooney checks into the same hotel, and ends up with a room right next to Trabucco's. The two of them happened to meet earlier at a gas station. Trabucco stopped to use the men's room, and while waiting, Clooney was occupying it, puking his guts out thanks to nerves. 
Their hotel rooms are connected. As Trabucco sets up a sniper rifle to shoot Gambola, he hears a commotion from Clooney's room. 
Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau in Buddy Buddy.
He checks to see what happened and finds that Clooney had tried to hang himself on one of the shower pipes. This made the pipe break causing water to flood the bathroom. 
Trabucco tries to calm him down so as to avoid any unwanted attention from hotel staff. 
Clooney then climbs out of the window onto the ledge, threatening to jump. 
Scared that police might show up to the hotel, Trabucco talks him into coming back inside. 
He agrees to drive Clooney to see his wife who's a researcher at the "Institute of Sexual Fulfillment" clinic, gathering content for a 60 Minuies segment. The clinic is run by an expert of sexual behavior, Dr. Hugo Zuckerbrot (Klaus Kinski). Zuckerbrot is also the guy Celia is leaving Clooney for. 
On the way there, Trabucco tries to shoot Clooney, who needed to stop to puke again. But the attempt is interrupted when a cop car pulls up escorting another vehicle with a female passenger who's in labor. They ask Trabucco for help, and he reluctantly agrees to take the woman and her husband to the nearest clinic. 
That nearest clinic is the Institute of Sexual Fulfillment. Why not kill two birds with one stone? 
Trabucco drops Clooney off, and heads back to the hotel. 
Clooney is unsuccessful at trying to win Celia back. He tells her how suicidal he is. When Celia tells Zuckerbrot what state her husband is in, he worries what this'll mean for the reputation of the Institute. 
Clooney manages to find a way back to the hotel. 
Celia and Zuckerbrot drop in unexpectedly to give Clooney a heavy sedative so he won't take his own life. However, Zuckerbrot goes in alone, mistakes Trabucco for Clooney, and gives him the shot.
All this time, Clooney is unaware Trabucco is a mafia hitman. But he finally catches on. And once he figures it out, Trabucco can't just let him go. 
This comedy has a Neil Simon "what else can go wrong" comedy style similar to Simon films like The Out-of-Towners, The Odd Couple, and The Prisoner of Second Avenue. 
But it's a Billy Wilder movie. And it's the last film for Wilder, who came out of retirement to make this one last movie. Sadly, it was a "poof" to end his directing career.
While Buddy Buddy is not their best film together, and despite film critic Roger Ebert of the Chicago Sun-Times calling it "appalling," "very bad," and "a comedy without laughs," I think time and nostalgia has worked in its favor just a bit. 
Matthau can be an intimidating presence on screen, and he is in this movie. But his faux Italian Bronx mafia style accent doesn't work. His normal Matthau voice would work so much better, especially when considering he was born in the Lower East Side of New York. A fake accent is completely superfluous and distracting.
Lemmon plays his usual, energetic comedic self who's excitable and unaware of what the audience is in on. 
It's fun to see Lemmon and Matthau work off each other as it always is. The overall scenario is original for them.
However, the character of Clooney definitely falls a little too much into the shadow of Lemmon's character Felix Ungar in The Odd Couple. Minus Felix's obsessive cleanliness, everything else seems similar - his nervousness, his repugnance to the sexual deviations at the clinic (I'm sure Felix would feel the same about that), and especially Clooney facing a divorce and wanting to kill himself over it. 
Despite the somewhat seemingly lackadaisical comedy and not-so-interesting flow of events, I still found myself laughing at Matthau and Lemmon, and entertained by their performances.  
Jack Lemmon and Klaus Kinski.
Buddy Buddy performed poorly at the time of its release, even being called the worst movie of 1981 by Chicago Tribune film critic Gene Siskel. Though Ebert hated it, too, he picked Heaven's Gate as the worst film of that year.
Watching the late legends brings a little more appreciation to the movie that critics panned back in 1981. 
Otherwise, all the movie has going for it is Lemmon and Matthau. Everything else is completely forgettable and stale. Nothing else is funny except for those two.
The camera work and lighting is certainly not impressive either, which is unfortunate considering this is a Billy Wilder film. His previous films are usually much more lively in their stories, camera work, and imaginative lighting. It's no surprise as Wilder and screenwriter I.A.L. Diamond  wrote the script in three months. In an interview with the Los Angeles Times back in 1981, Wilder called it a record for them.
"We just sat on it," Wilder said. "Just think. It could have been made and lost $7 million already."
They waited out an actors strike going on at the time. Once that was over, they waited for Lemmon and Matthau's respective schedules to allow both of  them time to appear in the picture. 
Despite its then poor performance, I find it odd how difficult the movie is to come by considering Billy Wilder was in the director's chair, and Lemmon and Matthau in the starring roles.  
Putting both comedians in this scenario, and watching them in their respective roles, feels forced. At the same time, in most of their comedies, Lemmon's character is at the mercy of Matthau's character. Obviously that plays into this story. It doesn't feel as genuine as their other pictures, especially with the uncomfortable inclusion of an Institute of Sexual Fulfillment. It throws the movie into ridiculous level that doesn't fit the rest of the comedy. 
Wilder launched these two as a team when he directed the 1966 romantic comedy Fortune Cookie. He also directed them in the 1974 comedy The Front Page, which is probably my second favorite Lemmon and Matthau comedy after The Odd Couple. Matthau does have a colorful vocabulary in The Front Page, but I saw that years after watching him in Buddy Buddy.
Wilder has worked with Lemmon without Matthau, too, quite a few times such as in Some Like it Hot (1959), The Apartment (1961)Irma la Douce (1963), and Avanti! (1972). 
After Buddy Buddy's box office failure, Lemmon and Matthau, the longest running comedy team spanning four decades, wouldn't team up again until 12-years later in the successful 1993 film Grumpy Old Men. After that they made a few more films together as a duo - Grumpier Old Men (1995), Out to Sea (1997)and The Odd Couple II (1998).
The latter was their last film appearance together. Also, those films much easier to find. 
So, why Buddy Buddy is so obscure is a question I have yet to find an answer to. 
I'd recommend the movie to any fan of Lemmon and Matthau, but good luck finding it. I won't be lending my copy out anytime soon.
I have to add that actor Michael Ensign plays a hotel manager in this movie. He played a hotel manager again three-years later in Ghostbusters. Being a Ghostbusters nerd, I couldn't let this review go without mentioning this fact somewhere in here. 

Monday, June 28, 2021

The Father (2021)


Director
Florian Zeller

Cast
Anthony Hopkins - Anthony
Olivia Colman - Anne
Rufus Sewell - Paul
Imogen Poots - Laura
Olivia Williams - Catherine
Mark Gatiss - The Man
Ayesha Dharker - Dr. Sarai
Roman Zeller - The Boy

My purpose for having this blog, as I'm sure I've mentioned before, is to watch and review films that are more obscurer than others. I never intended to write about new releases that have gained a lot of attention. Normally, I save those for the newspaper I freelance for. 
After watching the recent film The Father starring Anthony Hopkins and Olivia Colman, I wanted to applaud, and then turn on my blog right away. So, that's what I did. I just didn't get to the movie in time to send it on the paper.
This drama, based on the 2012 play Le Pére by Florian Zeller, is Zeller's directorial debut. He co-wrote the film with fellow playwright, Christopher Hampton. It was released in March of this year.
In this movie, Anthony Hopkins, who never fails to impress, plays Anthony. He's an elderly father of two daughters, lives in a London apartment, and is suffering from dementia. It causes him to grow more and more confused about the people in his life, and the various events going on around him. Even small details of his life, such as where he put his watch, become a great source of uncertainty and stress.
His daughter Anne (Olivia Colman) often visits him. She hires a nurse to come and take care of him when she can't, but the nurse quits due to Anthony's stubbornness and insults. He's also accused the nurse of stealing his watch. 
Anne tells her father she's moving to Paris to live with a man she met, and he needs a nurse to watch him while she's away. 
Anthony doesn't recall Anne having a man in her life after she divorced her ex-husband, James.
But she tells him if he refuses to have a nurse stay with him, she'll be forced to go with her second plan.
The following day, Anthony sees a stranger in his apartment sitting in the living room reading a newspaper. 
The man says his name is Paul, and Anthony demands to know why he's in his apartment. 
Paul says he's Anne's husband and lives in the apartment with her. 
Again, Anthony is confused.
Finally, Anne returns home but she looks different. Anthony doesn't recognize her. 
She scheduled an interview for another nurse named Laura to come visit.
When she arrives, Anthony is cordial and says she reminds him of his daughter, Lucy. 
He also claims he hasn't spoken with Lucy for quite a while. and inquires where she is. 
Later, Anne takes him to see a doctor about his memory. He tells the doctor about Anne saying she's moving to Paris with a man she met, but Anne says she never said she was moving to Paris.
The doctor asks him a series of questions about his memory problems, but Anthony claims he doesn't have any problems with his memory. 
Back in the apartment, Anthony talks to Laura about Lucy, telling her how proud he is that she's a painter. 
Olivia Colman and Anthony Hopkins in The Father.
Laura says she's sorry to hear of Lucy's accident. Anthony asks "what accident?"
The film slowly reveals Anthony has been living in Anne and Paul's flat for years, though Paul is a different person from when we saw him the first time. 
Paul's patience is growing thin as Anthony continues to live with them. His presence forced them to cancel a holiday in Italy they had planned. 
He asks Anthony how long he intends to stay in their apartment, which he thinks is his old apartment, before slapping him in the face. 
Later that night, he wakes up and roams the apartment. But he finds himself in a hospital corridor as Lucy calls his name. 
He walks into a room and sees Lucy on a hospital bed with her face covered in blood.
When Anthony wakes up, he finds himself in a different bedroom. 
It's movies like The Father that make me such a lover of films. And I placed this one on my mental top shelf of favorite respectable movies.
Hopkins is one of the most natural actors in the field. So many of his characters, especially his role in this film, are so genuine. 
Watching him in interviews, or in the videos of himself he posts on Facebook, he strikes me as a man who loves to entertain. He seems like he'd sit down and strike up a conversation with anybody. Hopkins is clearly a man who loves life. Just look at his Facebook page. 
In a recent interview with Late Show host Stephen Colbert, he said, "I think what appeals to me now at this time in my life is that we come screaming into this world from darkness. We go through life and think what is it all about? Is there any purpose? What is the meaning of it?"
While watching Hopkins in The Father, it struck me that the range of different characters he has performed in his career, from a mentally unstable magician in Magic, to a determined and compassionate doctor in The Elephant Man, to a cannibalistic and severely demented serial killer in Silence of the Lambs certainly demonstrates this appeal. 
The Father is such a genuine film. The way it was shot puts the audience in the world of Anthony while watching him react to the confusion around him. Rarely do we see the outside world except for short instances when he looks out his living room window to the street below. Small details slowly change around him. It's subtle but apparent. 
Other films about mental deterioration, such as the 2014 movie Still Alice about a Columbia University Linguistics professor who becomes diagnosed with familial Alzheimer's disease, depict these sorts of conditions very well and accurately. 

What sets The Father apart is that the audience isn't just sitting and watching the main character struggle. We don't see Anthony's deteriorating world through his eyes as his dementia continues to take his mind, nor do we just sit and watch him mentally fall apart. Rather, we experience as he experiences his growing confusion and frustration.
Initially, at the end of the movie, I was left with a few questions about a few scenes. Some things didn't make sense. It dawned on me that in this meant to be the case, I'm supposed to be confused just as Anthony is. As he tries to make sense of what's happening around him and can't because of his dementia, the audience is also meant to be as confused about various instances. Why is Anthony experiencing moments over again but with different people? Where did the chairs suddenly come from? Where exactly is he?
Surely we've met someone suffering from dementia, and watched how those people acted as this terrible condition eats at their mind. The movie certainly gave me as true an experience of what having dementia must be like as a movie can. I think this is one of the best films of 2021.

Friday, June 18, 2021

The Private Eyes (1980) - Video Rental Chicken Fat

"Listen up dummies. The help is all gone, the house is bare. Now you know, a shadow is there. There's one left to die, then my job'll be done. I like killing people, it's a lotta kicks!"

Director 
Lang Elliott

Cast
Don Knotts - Inspector Winshop
Tim Conway - Dr. Tart
Trisha Noble - Phyllis Morley
Bernard Fox - Justin
Fred Stuthman - Lord Morley
Mary Nell Santacroce - Lady Morley
Grace Zabriskie - Nanny

The Private Eyes was my introduction to Tim Conway and Don Knotts as a comic duo even before I watched them together in more popular movies such as Disney's The Apple Dumpling Gang and The Apple Dumpling Gang Rides Again
I can't recall the exact circumstances my dear mom rented this film for me sometime during my elementary school days - probably as something to watch while home sick from school. I obviously liked it so much I recall requesting this movie rental on several occasions back in the day. 
Thanks to Knotts and Conway, and also Laurel and Hardy, my interest in older comedy started to broaden towards acts like the Marx Brothers and even Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau movies
The movie begins with Lord Morley (Fred Stuthman - Escape from Alcatraz) and Lady Morley (Mary Nell Santacroce) getting into their car outside their English mansion for an evening out.
Lady Morley consistently critiques her husband's uncouth manners. As they're about to leave, Lord Morley declares he forgot his "smokes." 
Before running back into the house to grab his cigars, Lady Morley chastises his use of the word "smokes."
While inside, a hooded figure hiding in the back seat strangles Lady Morley. 
When Lord Morley returns, he accidentally drops his cigars on the floor. 
After picking them up, he asks his wife if she's getting in a quick nap. 
That's when Lord Morley notices the black hooded figure in the rear view mirror before he receives a blow to the head and is knocked unconscious.
The mysterious killer then jumps out, puts the car in drive, and it plunges into a lake near the road. 
Two American detectives working for Scotland Yard, Prof. Winship (Don Knotts) and Dr. Tart (Tim Conway) are assigned to investigate the Morley murders. They dress like Holmes and Watson, but they act like they're Holmes' and Watson's dopey cousins.
The suspense is thick right away as they have a letter signed by Lord Morley requesting they investigate the murders. 
If you don't know who these two are, you need to get out more!
As Winship and Tart question all of the staff at Morley Manor - the Morley's adopted daughter Phyllis (Trisha Noble), Justin the maniacal butler (Bernard Fox), Nanny (Grace Zabriskie), Mr. Uwatsum the chef (John Fujioka), Hilda the busty upstairs maid (Suzy Mandel), Jock the hunchback stable boy (Irwin Keyes), and Tibet, a gypsy who just happens to live there (Stan Ross) - they end up dead one by one. 
Now, Winship and Tart have to figure this mystery out before they're next to go.
If the hooded figure didn't show up in the opening scene, the movie would be much more obvious. The twist is anything but predictable.
It's a little surprising that The Private Eyes is as obscure a movie as it is considering the comedians in the main leads.
Much of the comedy is slapstick and silly, but it manages to be entertaining nevertheless. 
I found myself laughing most at Tim Conway's performance. That's not to say Knotts doesn't get any laughs. Conway can keep a straight face in the dumbest of circumstances. Even watching it as an adult, I still had a few laughs. Knotts is the straight man of the two, though still hilarious in his reactions towards his partner.
The clues left by the killer after each of the staff are found dead are a running joke in the film. They begin as poetic rhymes but end in some odd ball conclusion. They're corny but still manage to be funny.
The Private Eyes is definitely worth watching for any Don Knotts or Tim Conway fan, or both, or a fan of classic comedy... if you can find a copy.
It's a harmless movie, even for a comedic murder mystery. The "mystery" part is certainly on the same level as a Scooby Doo cartoon, complete with the classic unmasking at the end.
The animated intro credits must surely take inspiration from the credits seen at the start of The Pink Panther (1963) and its sequels. In my opinion, the opening soundtrack is just as catchy as The Pink Panther's. It stuck with me all these years. 
This movie deserves more attention because of its cast, the characters, its charm, and atmosphere. 
It took me a long while to find The Private Eyes on DVD. Thankfully, I found a rather pricey copy at a Vintage Stock in Topeka, Kansas. I think I paid $15 which, in my book is a little steep for a not-so-on-demand film. However, it was worth it.

Don't fast forward this one: My 'Ebenezer' trailer reaction

Johnny Depp as Ebenezer Scrooge in the upcoming film "Ebenezer" scheduled to come out November 2026. A trailer dropped a few days...