The Phantom of the Open Hearth (1976)

"It all started for ol' Ralph back in the steal country. It all began here in that great inverted bowl of darkness. That stringent bowl of Omar Khayyam - the Midwest!"

Directors

Fred Barzyk and David R. Loxton

Cast

David Elliott - Ralph Parker

James Broderick - The Old Man

Barbara Bolton - Mrs. Parker

Adam Goodman - Randy Parker

William Lampley - Flick

Roberta Wallach - Wanda Hickey

I was meandering around the internet looking through movie websites when I stumbled upon a reference to a 1988 made-for-TV movie called Ollie Hopnoodle's Haven of Bliss. 

It sounded like something I could easily pass over. But one thing about it caught my attention. 

This forgotten TV movie, it turns out, might be the first sequel to the 1983 Christmas staple that is A Christmas Story which is based on the book In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash by Jean Shepherd. 

Last April I posted a review to a 1994 comedy called It Runs in the Family (aka My Summer Story) which I mistakenly claimed is the first official sequel to A Christmas Story. I was irked, and still am, that the 2012 film A Christmas Story 2 claims to be the "official sequel." I'll deal more with this lie in a later post. 

Anyways, how wrong I was about My Summer Story. And I'll review Ollie Hopnoodle's Haven of Bliss in the weeks to come.

But as I dug a little deeper in trying to find a way to watch this TV movie, I made another discovery. 

In 1976, there was in fact a TV movie about Ralphie Parker (the main character of A Christmas Story) and his family also based on the works of Shepherd. Like A Christmas Story, it's narrated by Shepherd himself. 

This is The Phantom of the Open Hearth.

Incidentally, there was another made-for-TV movie released in 1985 (two years after A Christmas Story) called The Star-Cross Romance of Josephine Cosnowski which centers around Ralphie and the other characters from A Christmas Story. It, too, is based on the works of Jean Shepherd. I haven't watched it yet as I write this, but it might actually be the first sequel, technically speaking. Consider that last statement a disclaimer.

Directed by Fred Barzyk and David R. Loxton, Phantom of the Open Hearth was shown on a program called Visions- a weekly anthology series of original dramas and such that aired on PBS.

Barzyk would later direct The Star-Crossed Romance of Josephine Cosnowski which aired on another anthology series called American Playhouse. I'll watch and discuss that movie as well.

Loxton later directed the late, great Raul Julia in an American Playhouse production called Overdrawn at the Memory Bank (1983). Fans of Mystery Science Theater 3000 should be familiar with that oddity. 

The Phantom of the Open Hearth stars David Elliott as Ralph Parker along with James Broderick (Matthew Broderick's dad) as "the old man," Barbara Bolton as Ralphie's mom, Adam Goldman as Randy Parker, William Lampley as Flick, and Bryan Utman as Schwartz. 

The story takes place in 1950s Midwest (A Christmas Story is set in Hohman, Indiana) and of course centers on Ralph, a high school teenager, as he musters up courage and a plan to ask Daphne Bigelow to the Junior Prom. Off to the side, Wanda Hickey would sure like to go with Ralph. After all, she's had a crush on him since they were kids. 

Throughout the story, as Ralph fawns over Daphne and daydreams about taking her to the dance, other events are occurring in and around his typical teenage life.

For instance, his old man wins a "major award" (does that sound familiar?) which turns out to be a lamp in the shape of a woman's leg. And just like the infamous leg lamp of A Christmas Story, it meets its shattering demise after Mrs. Parker knocks it over. Was it an accident? Or was in an "accident?" 

Ralph also takes part in a church baseball game that turns into an all-out brawl. 

And lastly, his mother visits the local Orpheum movie theater each week as the theater manager gives away complimentary movie star tableware... the "dinner service of the stars." But due to a continual oversight, the weekly shipments turn out to be nothing but gravy boats week after week. 

Despite continual empty promises that the problem will be corrected and movie goers will receive their new dinnerware the following week, the audience full of angry housewives decide they've waited long enough. During the final theater scene, they chuck their 3rd, 4th, or 5th set of free gravy boats at the theater manager on stage, resulting in a cacophony of exploding china. 

James Broderick (left) as 'the old man' and
David Elliott as Ralph.

This same scene would later be reenacted in My Summer Story.

So, Ralph decides to ask Wanda to the prom despite his fawning for Daphne. as well as Wanda's simple appearance, Coke bottle classes, and neck-length curly black hair. Bravo, Ralph.

And it all goes smoothly until he, Schwartz, and Flick take their dates out to dinner after the prom. The night begins to turn sour as he leaves the roof of his dad's Oldsmobile down during the prom, while the sky decides to open up and pour, flooding the Olds.

The Phantom of the Open Hearth gives more insight into Ralph Parker. Though it came out eight years before A Christmas Story, it works in solidifying Ralph as a character, and provides more insight into his relationship with his "old man." 

It compliments A Christmas Story nicely in establishing a little more depth to the world of the Parkers. That's not to say A Christmas Story fails in anyway in establishing relatability or insight. Obviously, they're likeable characters the audience quickly relates to and cares about. The movie is still very popular, after all. 

This movie simply goes more into that by portraying these characters in different situations, and how they interact with their world around them. We're also introduced to different characters not portrayed in A Christmas Story. 

Of course, it's really A Christmas Story that gave audiences all that as it came out afterwards. I'm thinking backwards since this is the first I've heard of The Phantom of the Open Hearth.

It's the mind and wit of Jean Shepherd that ties these stories all together. 

If you haven't read Jean Shepherd, he's the Norman Rockwell of the printed word and of radio, having been a long-time radio personality. 

The character of "Ralph" acts as his eyes to Americana, down to the small, perhaps often overlooked joys and perks of life that are the glitter of freedom and patriotism. 

Watching this movie and listening to Shepherd narrate - his voice so familiar to me having watched A Christmas Story at least once a year for the last 35 years - I wanted to write down all his wonderful descriptions while he narrates as adult Ralph. 

For instance, in the movie he describes the "then and now" as "the glorious past and the crummy now." 

When we learn of Ralph's teenage crush on the beautiful Daphne Bigelow, Shepherd reminisces to the audience, "Even now, I can't suppress a fugitive shiver of tremulous passion and dark yearning." 

What a way to say, "yeah...I still think fondly of my old crush." 

That's what makes Shepherd a true classic in American literature and media. He is a genius when it comes to humor and narration. 

He has such a unique way of making the small things in life - a baseball game, a high school prom, that coveted toy we wanted so badly for Christmas, and the work that went into persuading our parents to get it - and distilling in the audience a sense of  relatability, nostalgia, and appreciation. 

He can craft a curious story around such simple things, turning them into events of great importance worthy of long lasting fondness. They're simply the things that remind us of how great life in America is. It's the "glorious past" which is begins in our "crummy now."

Everyone surely had a "Wanda Hickey" in there life who didn't go to the dance with them, or a memorable high school sporting event where something truly memorable happened like a team fight out near the shortstop. There's positivity in negativity - sometimes. 

Again, I wanted to write all his comments down while watching this, and I could have easily done so. 

Oh, and that infamous leg lamp... the movie has a more solid backstory as to what that image is all about.

I mentioned this in my previous post about A Christmas Story. That sexy leg, like on a statue. Yeah! A statue! It's a logo for Nehi (knee-high) soda. The "old man" drank it like water. 

So, the leg is one big ad for a soda. 

David Elliott as Ralph Parker.

"There it was. Nehi orange! It was so spectacularly gassy that violent cases of the bends were common among those who gulped it down too fast. It would clean out your sinuses faster than a Roto-Rooter," adult Ralph narrates in the movie. These lines are catchy just as his lines in A Christmas Story such as when he narrates in the latter film, "Only I didn't say 'fudge.' I said thee word. The big one. The queen mother of dirty words. The 'F dash, dash, dash word."

Shepherd's appreciation for life is drafted well in both movies. Each phrase of his is like a small love note to the past. 

Organ music serves as most of the soundtrack in various scenes. It's a little awkward and dated, but reminiscent of Shepherd's radio days. 

His radio stories were often accompanied by an organ like it would for a silent movie, to emphasize emotion - trepidation, failure, love, glee. 

The scene with Ralph volunteering to play on a church baseball league is fun to watch but doesn't serve much purpose to the overall story. It's just an event that happens as it leads to a team fight. It fits in style and wit, but felt like content filler. 

Maybe style is why it's included. After all, like A Christmas Story, it's a small detail about American homelife from an honest vantage point. Even in the good ol' days, fights broke out at church baseball games. 

Life was life back then, and still is in the "crummy now." That alone deserves attention and, maybe, some appreciation for whatever lessons we draw from it. We're all immersed in it.

In the end, after the prom, Ralph, Schwartz, and Flick take their dates out to a fancy dinner where Ralph orders a triple without any knowledge of what that actually consists of. He only knows "a triple" because he's heard his old man order the same drink over and over again.

Flick and Schwartz, just as ignorant as Ralph, order the same. 

With his first glass, he falls headfirst into the surreal realm of intoxication. The dream-like camera angles portray his drunken stupor, which is broken with quick scenes of an erupting volcano. 

Two triples in, the three boys soon find themselves crammed and huddled in a small bathroom stall puking up all their fun, and maybe some of the leftover fun from earlier in the week. The glory days weren't always glorious.  

Also, I read online that Ralph utters the famous line "oh, fudge" somewhere in this movie. I didn't catch that, but maybe it's in there. I watched an uploaded version of this movie on YouTube which was clearly recorded off television at some point. 

Anyhow, it's a shame Phantom of the Open Hearth is as obscure and forgotten as much as it is. Thankfully, it's not a lost film. 

Surely fans of A Christmas Story and Jean Shepherd should see it for themselves. This is the movie to pair with A Christmas Story instead of that terrible "official sequel" from 2012. 

I didn't understand the title Phantom of the Open Hearth after watching this. Who was the phantom, and what did any of this story have to do with hearths? 

Well, the hearth was often considered the center of a home as it was the location of warmth, light, food, and safety. This was before cell phones came along. A phantom is another word for a ghost. 

So, the ghost of the heart of a home? I conjecture that it's a clever way of referring to the ghosts of the past. I'll have to think about this for a bit. 

   

Editor's note;
It has been an entire month since I've reviewed any movies on this blog. During the month of October, I focused all my movie watching and writing time to my other blog 1000daysofhorror.blogspot.com, and its accompanying Podcast at anchor.fm/1000daysofhorror. 

I have no intention of neglecting this blog. So, with Christmas starting to show itself, I plan to look into Jean Shepherd's Ralphie Parker films mentioned above, including the *gag* movie I swore I'd never watch - A Christmas Story 2. Yep! I'm going to watch it. 

I include part two among Jean Shepherd movies only because the characters are based on his work. The sequel's story isn't based on any of his writing. But if I'm going to lambast it, the least I could do is watch it. I'm a glutton for punishment, I guess.

So, having written my thoughts as to whether A Christmas Story is a dumb movie or not, as well as reviewing its sequel My Summer Story, I'll add in the other Ralphie Parker sagas The Great American Fourth of July and Other Disasters, The Star-Crossed Romance of Josephine Cosnowski, and Ollie Hopnoodle's Haven of Bliss. Here's to you, Jean Shepherd! 

Jean Shepherd (left) in A Christmas Story