"Learn to go see the 'worst' films; they are sometimes sublime." - Ado Kyrou, Le Surrealisme au Cinema.
*Check out my horror movie blog, too, at 1000daysofhorror.blogspot.com and my SciFi blog, 1000daysofscifi.blogspot.com
When Disney announced the production of a live action remake of their 1989 animated classic, "The Little Mermaid," which audiences knew would end up in the bargain bin with the rest of their remakes, I didn't really care. There was no reason to. All their other live action remakes have been terrible. To be fair, some were less terrible than others. Otherwise, none of these remakes have been anything better than "o.k." For the most part, they're often dull and uninspired.
Last year's "The Little Mermaid" is no different.
The original movie certainly was a major help in hoisting Disney out of the dark and drab slump they found themselves in during the 1980s. So, modern Disney did what it does best and crapped over their own saving movie by producing a poor version of it to appease a particular faction.
I had put complete trust in the film's trailers which looked uninspiring and bored. So, that's what I expected. A boring and uninspiring movie. And I wasn't disappointed...but yet, I was.
This movie is a dull insult to classic Disney - courtesy of modern Disney. And it shows, beginning with the acting.
Like most of the other live action Disney remakes of their own classic animated movies, "The Little Mermaid" is basically a shot for shot remake severely lacking emotion. King Triton (Javier Bardem) has no emotion. Eric (Jonah Hauer-King) has no emotion, especially when he breaks into his song.
The acting all around deserves to be drowned in the depths of the sea. It's terrible. No one has any convincing emotions. They all go through the motions, repeating the lines audiences loved in the animated movie, and sing a few new songs which are forgettable.
While Jenna McCarthy's appearance as Ursula isn't bad, her performance is a passible impression of Pat Carrol's performance of the animated Ursula, right down to her voice fluctuation.
And Awkwafina's lines for Ariel's friend Scuttle the northern gannet bird (he was a seagull in the cartoon) are awkward, random and sound scripted. Her voice stands out like a raspy ragged fowl rather than a song bird. Her singing would surely make Walt Disney himself scratch his head as if to say "did that come outta you" before issuing some job terminations.
Halle Bailey's performance as Ariel isn't any better. She goes through all the actions like she's waiting for it all to end because there's a paycheck at the end of the job. She is just unconvincing and lacking emotion.
All around, "The Little Mermaid" is a dull cash grab of an older property that relies so much on the animated movie. Why even bother with this?
The original movie pops with color and life. This one doesn't!
The producers worked too hard to make this all too realistic. "The Little Mermaid" isn't meant to be this realistic.
The sea creatures aren't meant to look as real as they are. It makes them forgettable and hurts what little (if any) unique characteristics they might possess.
And by the way, how does Triton have daughters of different nationalities? How did that come about? Maybe I don't want to know.
Halle Bailey as 'Ariel' in Disney's "The Little Mermaid."
Jack Nicholson - Jack Napier/ Joker Kim Basinger - Vicki Vale Robert Wuhl - Alexander Knox Pat Hingle - Commissioner Gordon Billy Dee Williams - Harvey Dent Michael Gough - Alfred Pennyworth Jack Palance - Carl Grissom
I reviewed the 1992 movie "Batman Returns" - the sequel to Tim Burton's 1989 movie "Batman" - back in 2022. Well, after hearing some negative comments on the '89 Batman, I felt compelled to comment. I wanted to write something up about this movie after seeing Michael Keaton return as Batman in "The Flash." I'm just now getting to this. I was a month short of being nine-years old when I saw Burton's "Batman" in the theater. That theater was the Grand Lake Theater in Oakland, California and it was one of the most intense movie experiences I've had. I still remember the parts where the audience laughed. I remember the entire theater cheering at the scene with the Batwing flying above the cloud cover to juxtapose against the moon creating the bat emblem before soaring full-speed back down to Gotham City to take out the Joker. Above all, I recall the Bat-hype this movie caused back in 1989. It got a hold of me, too. My nine-year old self grew obsessed with Batman thanks to this movie. Of course, it has subsided quite a bit since then. I have a special place in my heart for the 1989 "Batman." In this movie, the masked vigilante, Batman, is just beginning to grace the dark crime-ridden streets of Gotham City. News reporter, Alexander Knox (Robert Wuhl) is covering Batman sightings around Gotham, with little to no cooperation from Commissioner Jim Gordon (Pat Hingle), Harvey Dent (Billy Dee Williams) and Mayor Borg (Lee Wallace). Photojournalist Vicki Vale (Kim Basinger) wants to work with Knox in covering the Batman. They both attend a fundraiser at Wayne Manor hosted by billionaire Bruce Wayne (Michael Keaton) as Gordon, Borg, and Dent will be in attendance.
Knox and Vale hope to find out what the police and city hall know about "the bat." And Vale wants to meet with Wayne, whom she's never seen. When they finally meet, Wayne becomes infatuated with Vale.
Michael Keaton and Jack Nicholson in "Batman."
Meanwhile, mob leader Carl Grissom (Jack Palance) sends his psychopathic top henchman, Jack Napier (Jack Nicholson) to raid the Axis Chemical Factory and steal incriminating evidence. What Napier doesn't initially realize is that Grissom is setting him up for murder by police in retaliation for sleeping with his mistress, Alicia (Jerry Hall). Grissom has corrupt Lieutenant Max Eckhardt (William Hootkins), whom he has in his back pocket, to conduct an unauthorized police raid in order to shoot and kill Napier. However, Commissioner Gordon receives an anonymous tip about what's going on and shows up to take over. Batman also shows up as he eavesdropped on Gordon receiving that anonymous tip during the fundraiser. While being chased by police, Napier has a clear shot at Gordon. Just as he's pulling the trigger, Batman kicks the gun out of his hand. They scuffle before Napier's goon, Bob (Tracey Walter), threatens to shoot Gordon unless he let's go of Jack, which Batman does. Napier ends up shooting Eckhardt in revenge. Right after, he fires a shot at Batman who blocks it causing the bullet to ricochet off some metal and hit Napier through both of his cheeks. He stumbles around before falling over a railing and into a large vat of chemicals. While Grissom thinks he's dead, Jack actually survives and has some plastic surgery done to correct his facial disfigurements. This procedure leaves him with a permanent grin across his face.
The chemicals also turn his skin completely white and his hair green. His new appearance makes him insane, which Napier embraces. Now, calling himself "Joker," he immediately pays Grissom a visit and kills Grissom and takes over his operations. Joker unleashes a wave of terror over Gotham City when he takes over the Axis Chemical Factory. He starts manufacturing beauty and hygiene products at the chemical factory with chemical agents that, when different products are used together, create a lethal gas call Smylex. This causes victims to laugh uncontrollably until they die, leaving a permanent grin on their faces just like Joker's. Joker also becomes infatuated with Vicki Vale, trying to lure her to his side. However, once Batman breaks the Joker's deadly plans and hands his findings over to Vicki to be printed in the newspaper leaving Gotham to wonder if this Batman is a friend or foe, the Joker unleashes his fury on all of Gotham. As the mayor postpones Gotham's 200th anniversary celebration parade, the Joker decides to hold his own parade. He lures Gotham residents to the downtown area by promising to dump $20 million in cash during his parade. And, of course, the people come. What they don't know is that the Joker's parade balloons are actually filled with Smylex which he begins releasing into the crowd. But Batman doesn't waste time in fighting for Gotham City and taking out the joker. This movie is entertaining right from the credits. The opening soundtrack by Danny Elfman couldn't fit the movie any better. The dialogue and entire production quality design is amazingly unique and unforgettable. The time of release is worth mentioning. As the popularity of the "Superman" movies waned after "Superman II" - the worst of the Superman movies of course being "Superman IV: The Quest for Peace" followed closely by "Superman III" - a Batman movie must have been a major risk.
Kim Basinger as Vicki Vale in "Batman."
While comic book enthusiasts might have been very familiar with dark Batman stories as seen in Frank Miller's "The Dark Knight Returns" (1986) and "Batman: The Killing Joke" (1988) by Alan Moore, the general public were much more familiar with the campy television series "Batman," which ran from 1966 to 1969, and starring Adam West and Burt Ward as the dynamic duo. The show was anything but dark. So, coming up with a dark, Dark Knight was certainly ambitious. And Tim Burton's "Batman" sure has a lot of ambitious decisions behind it beginning with Michael Keaton as Batman/ Bruce Wayne, as mentioned millions of times before.
Putting Tim Burton in the director's chair was another ambitious task. Before "Batman" Burton was known for directing the comedies, "Beetlejuice" and "Pee-Wee's Big Adventure." And making Batman a complete revision, again for general audiences whose idea of Batman is what they watched on T.V., was a big one. How would audiences take to such a reimaging of their beloved Batman? It's dark and dank, but with a little splash of color which adds to the contrast between the dark tone of Batman and the vibrant in-your-face personality of Joker. A lot of scenes and angles look like they're straight off comic book pages. I love the tone of the film and atmosphere of this movie. The set often doesn't look like a set most of the time. The movie has a dystopian vibe to it, similar to movies like "Blade Runner" with a little fairy tale feel to it loosely similar (in my mind anyway) to something like "The Princess Bride." There's a broken main hero and a fair maiden whose affection is rivaled over by the hero and the villain. In "Batman," that's a side story that's also used to bring the hero and the villain into battle. When Christopher Nolan's "Dark Knight" movies arrived, Burton's "Batman" remained appreciated by some, and pushed aside by others because something "better" was now among us.
The story gets criticized for Alfred bringing Vicki into the bat cave. But Bruce was going to tell her the truth anyway. Why does Vickie's presence in the bat cave bother people? With the presence of British actor Michael Gough as Bruce Wayne's butler, Alfred, along with Jack Nicholson's performance that he surely borrows inspiration from his role in "The Shining," "Batman" is a movie that has improved over time. Maybe it's not as good as Nolan's films. But it doesn't need to be. It's a solid, foundational, superbly constructed and highly entertaining film. To be fair, if I must complain about one thing about "Batman," it's Princes awful music video "Batdance" written for this movie. Cringe isn't a big enough word!
Toshishiro Obata - Master Tatsu Judith Hoag - April O'Neil Elias Koteas - Casey Jones Jay Patterson - Charles Pennington Michael Turney - Danny Pennington
If there's one thing I can say about the 1990 comic-based movie "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles," it's that the movie is much better than a lot of folks and critics give it credit for.
Sure, the idea of four mutated talking juvenile turtles named after Renaissance painters is an outlandishly silly idea. Creators Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird knew that when they created these characters as a lark back in the early 1980s.
I recently watched the 1990 "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" with my kids. And I've seen it several times before. So, obviously it was time for me to say something about it.
While I enjoyed this movie in my youth, it has taken some deeper meaning in my adult years. I'm not referring to any nostalgic investment I have in this movie specifically, or in the Ninja Turtles in general.
This movie brings together the style of a children's movie against a gritty, dark comic book action story.
In this movie, New York City is suddenly plagued with a crime wave...as though crime waves are a new problem in the "Big Apple."
April O'Neill (Judith Hoag), a news reporter for channel 3 news, has been reporting on this silent wave of crime involving a high level of theft and juvenile delinquency.
She suspects that hotheaded Police Chief Sterns (Raymond Serra) knows more about the group behind this rise in crime than he's letting on.
After getting off work one evening, April happens to catch a group of young thugs stealing from one of the news vans.
They jump her, but she's saved by unseen vigilantes which are obviously the Ninja Turtles. Who doesn't know their names by now? Raphael, Michelangelo, Leonardo, and Donatello. Incidentally, Donatello - the brains of the turtles - was almost named after Italian sculptor and architect. Gianlorenzo Bernini. After a coin toss, Eastman and Laird decided on Donatello instead. So, the world almost got Leonardo, Michelangelo, Raphael, and Bernini. Doesn't quite have the same effect.
Anyways, the turtles live in a liar in the sewer along with their mentor, Master Splinter - a mutated rat who is a master of ninjutsu. He taught the turtles this form of martial arts while raising them himself.
After the turtles rescue April, they return to their lair where Splinter instructs them to master the art of invisibility.
Raphael, meanwhile, returns in a bad mood because he lost one of his weapons - a sai - during the rescue. She happened to see it just as the police arrived and stuck it in her purse.
He decides to head to the street surface, disguised of course, to catch a movie and cool off. While up on the street, he gets into a fight with another vigilante called Casey Jones (Elias Koteas).
April keeps digging into this crime wave, discovering that the group behind it all is known as the "Foot Clan" who use an abandoned warehouse as a hideaway. As she reports it on television, the head of the Foot Clan, the Shredder (James Saito) orders some of his clan to silence her.
The Shredder has been recruiting wayward kids to commit these crimes all around the city.
Some of the Foot Clan ninjas attack April on a subway platform. Little do they know that Raphael happened to follow her down there. After they knock her out, Raphael attacks them, rescues the
unconscious April and takes her back to the sewer lair.
Thinking he took down all the ninjas, Raphael doesn't realize that one of the Foot Clan is following him back to the turtles' lair only to report back to the Shredder.
After April wakes up and freaks out at the sight of four talking mutated turtles and a rat, Splinter reveals their origins to her.
As odd as the situation is, she lets the turtles escort her home where she invites them in for pizza. As luck would have it, that's their favorite food. So, how could they say no.
After hanging out and having a laugh, they head back to the sewer only to find the place sacked and Splinter missing.
They return to April's to hide and figure out what to do next.
When April's boss, Charles Pennington (Jay Patterson) and his delinquent son, Danny (Michael Turney) drop by April's apartment to check in after her attack.
The turtles hide like the ninjas they are. But Danny happens to catch a glimpse of one of the turtles, who disappears just before he can get a good look.
Danny, who's involved in this Foot Clan, tells Shredder about what he saw and where he saw it.
The Shredder sends his Foot Clan to April's apartment just as Raphael is up on her roof blowing off some steam.
They outnumber him, and then attack the rest of the turtles. Casey Jones, who's up on his own apartment roof, happens to spot the Foot Clan attack Raphael from a distance.
So, he goes to help.
The fight leaves April's apartment up in flames. She and the turtles are forced to escape and hide in an abandoned farmhouse that belongs to April's family. Casey Jones joins them there.
Danny quickly feels immensely guilty that his actions have caused so much chaos.
He goes to speak to Splinter, who's being held captive by the Shredder inside the hideaway.
Splinter's words give Danny a change of heart about the life of petty crime he's picked up, as well as a change in attitude towards his father whom Danny thinks has no interest in him.
The turtles receive a message from Splinter through astral projection which spurs them to return to their lair back in the city.
There, they find Danny in hiding.
Later that night, when everyone's asleep, Danny sneaks off back to the Clan's secret hideout to go talk to Splinter. Casey Jones catches him sneaking out and follows him there.
Splinter confides in Danny, explaining that before he mutated, he learned ninjutsu from his master, Hamato Yoshi. A rival of Yoshi named Oroku Saki was immensely jealous of Yoshi as he had won the love of a woman named Tang Shen whom Oroku Saki also loved.
Shen and Yoshi moved to New York together in order to escape Saki's jealous wrath.
But Saki found out they were in New York, and killed them both.
In retaliation, Splinter attacked Saki and scratched his face leaving a scar. Saki tried to kill the rat, only to slice Splinter's ear.
Danny asks what became of Oroku Saki. Splinter replies that no one knows, but his emblem is on the headband Danny's wearing.
Just then, Shredder catches Danny leaving Splinter's company and can tell he's hiding something. He pulls out a picture April drew of Leonardo from Danny's pocket. Shredder figures out that the turtles have returned.
Now, the turtles are forced to face Shredder in order to save Splinter and severe the Foot Clan's grip on the city.
This movie was made at the height of Ninja Turtle popularity. And as a comic book-based movie, it was released in the shadow of Tim Burton's popular 1989 comic book-based movie "Batman." I'll get to that movie in a later post.
Jim Henson's creature shop does an amazing job at the designs of the turtle costumes and puppetry. Not only does each turtle bear a different color head band to distinguish them, but their facial features are distinct as well.
On top of that, each performer gives their respective character a unique personality.
Brian Tochi gives Leonardo a leadership attitude who calls the shots, but not without some uncertainty and trepidation as to whether he's making the right choice or not.
For the first time, he's left to lead without Splinter's guidance.
Josh Pais gives Raphael a closed-up personality. He needs his brother turtles, but he doesn't want that need to show. He's gruff and angry. Pais gives him a lower east-side New York accent which makes Raphael sound very sure of himself. But his vulnerabilities aren't as hidden as Raph thinks they are.
Corey Feldman makes his character, Donatello, the brains of the turtles. He acts as their support. He gives the other turtles a silent respect as he lets them figure out their issues but not without a shoulder or extra ear.
Robbie Rist makes Michelangelo the most juvenile of the turtles, as his character is more fun-loving and the most teenager-like, especially with his crush on April. He also comes across as the most emotional.
Cartoon sound effects and corny gags are sprinkled within the gritty tone of the movie. Yet, some scenes are intense, such as the Shredder's initial entrance onto the screen with the camera above him as he walks into frame with a long dark shadow appearing before him. Youth surround him awaiting his instructions. The camera moves from above to behind the Shredder giving his entrance a strong feeling of dread and intimidation.
There's a warm sense of family through the movie. It starts with Splinter and the four turtles against Shredder's Foot Clan and the wayward children he instructs to steal and terrorize New Yorkers for his sake operating under the false pretense that they're a family.
The Foot Clan's hideaway, full of stolen goodies like stereos, video games, and electronics, is like a dark inner-city version of Pleasure Island from "Pinocchio." The Shredder's recruitment of these kids while convincing them that they're all family and he's their father parallels the story, "Oliver Twist" in which children are trained to be thieves and pickpockets by the infamous criminal Fagin.
On top of that, we see April's boss, Charles Pennington, trying to keep his relationship with his son Danny, who's involved in Shredder's Foot Clan, together.
It's not clear where the fracture in their tumultuous father and son relationship comes from. Maybe a divorce? But it's clear that Danny is looking for guidance and a father who's not too busy for him. He tells Splinter, "My father could care less about me."
Splinter's response makes him think about himself from his father's point of view.
"I doubt that. All fathers care for their sons."
"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" may be a movie tarnished just a little by the ludicrous but highly imaginative idea of four anthropomorphic turtles who practice ninjutsu, the movie works well thanks to its writing and masterful puppetry and costume designs from Jim Henson's Creature Shop. This movie spawned two sequels, "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze," and "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III" which I reviewed back in 2020.
The film is certainly well cast. And the chemistry between the actors is clearly present. In my opinion, Hoag portrays April O'Neill the best compared to the following sequels. Her version is lively with personality, likeability and great chemistry with the four turtles she has to work alongside with. Her April is the most unforgettable.
Sure, comic book enthusiasts and Ninja Turtle fans give this movie the most credit. Looking past the concept of "teenage mutant ninja turtles," this movie is well executed and deserves that credit and attention.
_theatrical_poster.jpg)
