The Private Eyes (1980) - Video Rental Chicken Fat

"Listen up dummies. The help is all gone, the house is bare. Now you know, a shadow is there. There's one left to die, then my job'll be done. I like killing people, it's a lotta kicks!"

Director 

Lang Elliott

Cast

Don Knotts - Inspector Winshop

Tim Conway - Dr. Tart

Trisha Noble - Phyllis Morley

Bernard Fox - Justin

Fred Stuthman - Lord Morley

Mary Nell Santacroce - Lady Morley

Grace Zabriskie - Nanny

The Private Eyes was my introduction to Tim Conway and Don Knotts as a comic duo even before I watched them together in more popular movies such as Disney's The Apple Dumpling Gang and The Apple Dumpling Gang Rides Again. 

I can't recall the exact circumstances my dear mom rented this film for me sometime during my elementary school days - probably as something to watch while home sick from school. I obviously liked it so much I recall requesting this movie rental on several occasions back in the day. 

Thanks to Knotts and Conway, and also Laurel and Hardy, my interest in older comedy started to broaden towards acts like the Marx Brothers and even Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau movies

The movie begins with Lord Morley (Fred Stuthman - Escape from Alcatraz) and Lady Morley (Mary Nell Santacroce) getting into their car outside their English mansion for an evening out.

Lady Morley consistently critiques her husband's uncouth manners. As they're about to leave, Lord Morley declares he forgot his "smokes." 

Before running back into the house to grab his cigars, Lady Morley chastises his use of the word "smokes."

While inside, a hooded figure hiding in the back seat strangles Lady Morley. 

When Lord Morley returns, he accidentally drops his cigars on the floor. 

After picking them up, he asks his wife if she's getting in a quick nap. 

That's when Lord Morley notices the black hooded figure in the rear view mirror before he receives a blow to the head and is knocked unconscious.

The mysterious killer then jumps out, puts the car in drive, and it plunges into a lake near the road. 

Two American detectives working for Scotland Yard, Prof. Winship (Don Knotts) and Dr. Tart (Tim Conway) are assigned to investigate the Morley murders. They dress like Holmes and Watson, but they act like they're Holmes' and Watson's dopey cousins.

The suspense is thick right away as they have a letter signed by Lord Morley requesting they investigate the murders. 

If you don't know who these two are, you need to get out more!

As Winship and Tart question all of the staff at Morley Manor - the Morley's adopted daughter Phyllis (Trisha Noble), Justin the maniacal butler (Bernard Fox), Nanny (Grace Zabriskie), Mr. Uwatsum the chef (John Fujioka), Hilda the busty upstairs maid (Suzy Mandel), Jock the hunchback stable boy (Irwin Keyes), and Tibet, a gypsy who just happens to live there (Stan Ross) - they end up dead one by one. 

Now, Winship and Tart have to figure this mystery out before they're next to go.

If the hooded figure didn't show up in the opening scene, the movie would be much more obvious. The twist is anything but predictable.

It's a little surprising that The Private Eyes is as obscure a movie as it is considering the comedians in the main leads.

Much of the comedy is slapstick and silly, but it manages to be entertaining nevertheless. 

I found myself laughing most at Tim Conway's performance. That's not to say Knotts doesn't get any laughs. Conway can keep a straight face in the dumbest of circumstances. Even watching it as an adult, I still had a few laughs. Knotts is the straight man of the two, though still hilarious in his reactions towards his partner.

The clues left by the killer after each of the staff are found dead are a running joke in the film. They begin as poetic rhymes but end in some odd ball conclusion. They're corny but still manage to be funny.

The Private Eyes is definitely worth watching for any Don Knotts or Tim Conway fan, or both, or a fan of classic comedy... if you can find a copy.

It's a harmless movie, even for a comedic murder mystery. The "mystery" part is certainly on the same level as a Scooby Doo cartoon, complete with the classic unmasking at the end.

The animated intro credits must surely take inspiration from the credits seen at the start of The Pink Panther (1963) and its sequels. In my opinion, the opening soundtrack is just as catchy as The Pink Panther's. It stuck with me all these years. 

This movie deserves more attention because of its cast, the characters, its charm, and atmosphere. 

It took me a long while to find The Private Eyes on DVD. Thankfully, I found a rather pricey copy at a Vintage Stock in Topeka, Kansas. I think I paid $15 which, in my book is a little steep for a not-so-on-demand film. However, it was worth it.