A King in New York (1957)

"One of life's minor annoyances is a revolution."

Director

Charlie Chaplin

Cast

Charlie Chaplin - King Shahdov

Dawn Addams - Ann Kay

Oliver Johnston - Ambassador Jaume

Michael Chaplin - Rupert Macabee


Former New York Times film critic Eugene Archer said in his review of Charlie Chaplin's 1957 film A King in New York, "The works of genius are frequently difficult to understand, and the films of Charles Chaplin, operating simultaneously on several levels of meaning, present a critical problem of particular complexity."

For me, this film is a mess of cynicism, satire, frustration, let down and commentary on the social garishness and political obsessions of the U.S. during the 1950s from a jilted comedian.

I wanted to review a Charlie Chaplin film on this blog for sometime, but I couldn't narrow my options down to one. 

As a long time admirer of Charlie Chaplin, and I still am, from his first screen appearance in Making a  Living (1914) to his later films, The Great Dictator (1941), Monsieur Verdoux (1947), and Limelight (1952), A King in New York is a movie I wanted to see for years, but simply hadn't. 

I stumbled upon it on HBO Max recently, and figured it was as good an opportunity as any to finally sit and watch it.

Known for his iconic character, "The Little Tramp," Chaplin was a genius when it comes to story telling. I immensely admire his films City Lights (1931) and Modern Times (1936) particularly. With the latter, I look past the tinge of Marxist overtones to appreciate and admire the innocent, ingenious comedy and romance within.

Chaplin wrote, produced, directed, and scored many of his movies, including this one. 

These two silent movies were made after the advent of talking movies. As Chaplin felt sound would be a passing fad, these films prove he could tell a story with comedy, tragedy, and romance without having to speak. 

But even Chaplin had to keep up with modern times, though he was reluctant to have the Little Tramp speak.

He eventually did, however, in his first full talking film The Great Dictator where he played dual roles. First, he played the Little Tramp for the last time in the role of Jewish barber. Chaplin also played a satirical version of Adolf Hitler. Hence, the movie's title. 

Chaplin was exiled from the United States in 1952. By this time, his innocent "Little Tramp" character, loved by millions worldwide, was involved in a paternity suit. The public began to see an actor straying far from the innocent Tramp to a person who chased young girls and seemed irresponsible.

Above this, his loyalties were in question as this was a time when anti-Communism was at its zenith in America. 

Chaplin opposed the House Un-American Activities Commission as they questioned many notable individuals about their loyalties towards Communism. Attorney General James McGranery didn't take kindly to his opposition and said Chaplin would only be granted a Visa if he could "prove his worth and right to reenter the U.S."

While sailing to his home country of England, the U.S. Government decided to deny Chaplin re-entry.

He ended up residing in Switzerland for the remainder of his years, but did return to the United States in 1972 to receive an Honorary Oscar. Chaplin received a deserved standing ovation that lasted 12 minutes during that ceremony. 

Filmed in the U.K., A King in New York is his first after his exile, and wasn't released in the U.S. until 1972.

In A King in New York, Chaplin plays King Igor Shahdov who flees from his country of Estrovia to New York City after he's deposed from his throne following a revolution.

Once in New York City, the king wants to experience the American way of life. He moves into an upscale hotel room where his Ambassador, Jaume (Oliver Johnston), becomes his personal assistant.

His money situation is meager as his former Prime Minister stole his funds.

Shahdov tries contacting the Atomic Energy Commission with plans for using atomic energy for the sake of creating a utopia.

All the while, the king realizes he can't keep up with the fast paced raucous life in the Big Apple.

Several producers approach him to film commercials for various products, and are willing to pay him handsomely.

He's also invited to a dinner party, but declines the offer until he runs into a gorgeous woman named Ann Kay who's using a shared bathroom between their rooms.

Charlie Chaplin as King Shahdov in A King in New York

In an awkward meeting, the two start talking and she encourages him to attend the party. Of course he agrees knowing she'll be there.

Little does he know the party is a secretly televised program set up by Kay.

Shahdov learns this after the fact and is less than pleased knowing he was tricked to appear on television.

Still, Kay encourages him to accept television offers, and do whatever he can to look good on American T.V., including a little plastic surgery. 

With funds depleted, Shahdov agrees to do a few commercials for payment. 

He's also invited to speak at a progressive boy's school where he meets a 10-year old named Rupert Macabee (played by Chaplin's son, Michael Chaplin), whose mind is wrapped in more political thought than a child's mind should be. 

Macabee lectures Shahdov about freedom and rule in a rather Marxist style. 

The king learns the boy's parents are both Communists jailed for not giving names during a hearing similar to the McCarthy hearings held during this decade. 

Later on, Shahdov finds Macabee aimlessly wondering the snowy streets of the city. 

The kid ended up running away from his school. So, Shahdov takes him up to his room to give the boy food and shelter. 

The king has to step out for a few hours, leaving Macabee behind. 

While he's gone, some officials come to the king's room and Macabee lets them in. 

He tells the officials that Shahdov is his uncle. They grow shocked as soon as this kid starts proselytizing his Marxist ideas. The press catches on to Shahdov affiliating with Macabee, and the king is soon suspected of being Communist himself.

So, Shahdov has to face hearings in front of a panel similar to the real House Committee of Un-American Activities. 

As all this is going on, authorities make Macabee reveal the names that his parents wouldn't tell.

He's presented to the king afterwards to demonstrate what a patriot looks like, but the kid feels heavy with guilt. 

Shahdov invites Macabee and his parents to travel to Europe with him.

"The madness won't go on forever," the king tells a weeping Macabee. "There's no reason for despair." 

To those unfamiliar with Chaplin's life, A King in New York may come across as as a mere cynical picture, convoluted at times, running long at other times, and with a few funny bits here and there.

It's irksome to watch Chaplin, "the king," lecture American leadership about freedom while sympathizing for those adhering to a system that doesn't tolerate opposition in thought and deed - ideas that ultimately oppose freedom.  

In a recorded interview in 2013 Michael Chaplin says there was no proof his father had any ties with Communists or the Communist party. I'm not claiming anything contrary. 

In this movie, Chaplin tries to show American leadership the American optimism surrounding freedom and liberty which he, it seems, thinks the HUAC doesn't share. 

The political aspect of this movie comes out when the king visits the progressive boy's school.

Michael Chaplin as Rupert Macabee 

In the scene where Shahdov first meets Macabee, he finds the boy quietly reading. When asked what he's reading, Macabee responds nonchalantly "Karl Marx."

"Surely you're not a Communist," the king replies.

"Do I have to be a Communist to read Karl Marx?" 

"That's a valid answer," Shahdov says. "Well, if you're not a Communist, what are you?"

"Nothing. I dislike all forms of government." 

"Well, somebody must rule."

Macabee says he doesn't like the word "rule" and begins a tirade about "human dignity destroyed by political power" because it antagonizes the people, and violates their "natural rights." 

He uses the concept of passport regulations to prove his point, wagging his finger with each declaration while speaking mechanically without letting the king get a word in edgewise. The king practically begs him to let him talk.

"And free speech, does that exist?" Macabee asks.

"No, you've got it all!"
I don't know what to make of this scene as there's a lot happening here.  

The encounter is mixed with some slapstick humor as other students play small pranks on Shahdov as he's engaging with Macabee. The entire scene concludes with Shahdov sitting on a cake.

Nothing Macabee dictates really moves the king.

But when we meet Macabee again, he's a hungry pitiful boy stranded out in the freezing cold. And the king then takes sympathy on him.

Macabee later identifies as a Communist because, as he claims, society makes it advantageous not to be one. 

Shahdov later calls Macabee, "the most obnoxious child I ever met, but a genius."

Archer was on to something when he wrote that Chaplin operates simultaneously on several levels of meaning. Complexity indeed!

Based on how the scene plays out, I'm left thinking it's a depiction of where Chaplin stands in the midst of the political climate of his day.

He's not persuaded by Communism but still pities those who are Communist and have been questioned  by the HCUA. Chaplin was a self-described humanitarian, and this sentiment of his popped up before in the speech he gave in The Great Dictator. 

Nevertheless, the satire in the movie's depiction of American life is played out well in this movie. It's where the movie shines the most. Americans of the day were already riled up dancing in the aisles of rock concerts, mesmerized by the glare of movie screens, instantly sold by advertisements, and constantly surrounded by noise of music, media, traffic, and constant chatter. Nothing has changed much since then. 

As far as the story goes, the movie is all over the place, tripping over itself with a drawn out narrative mixed with political commentary, satire, and a taste of silly humor. 

By the third act, A King in New York slows down. The satire is used up in the previous acts. The story begins turning convoluted and long winded. The motivation just feels forced as though Chaplin is chastising the American system of the day, swatting it on the nose with a rolled up newspaper because the system booted him out.

No doubt Chaplin had a lot to say after being kicked out of the nation that helped make him the cultural icon he is to this day. His work is still loved and admired here and abroad.

Fans of Chaplin who take an interest in his life and work are more likely to appreciate this film rather than those who simply aren't interested.  

Chaplin and Dawn Addams (right)

I understand his displeasure. That frustration is depicted in a scene where Shahdov comically sprays a firehose at the House Un-American Activities Commission. Never make enemies with a writer! 

It's not the first time in his career Chaplin used American officials as the punch line of his humor and satire. 

In his 1917 silent movie The Immigrant, Chaplin kicks a rather pushy immigration officer up the backside. A foreigner making a mockery of the American governmental system wasn't taken kindly back then. 

I believe this early scene was later used as evidence to "prove" Chaplin was "anti-American." I am willing to bet all my Chaplin movies that Charlie was anything but anti-American. Far from it.

It was a time though, after all, when American patriotism was high, as it should be. And anti-American sentiment within US borders needed and still needs to be swiftly expelled without a second thought. 

But Chaplin's comedy works in his facial expressions which made me laugh. In the dinner party scene, while he sits next to Kay at the table and flirts with her, she randomly breaks into advertising slogans. 

Shadhov has a confused look on his face as he glances around behind a smiling Kay who's looking towards the camera Shahdhov can't see. 

I still maintain my love and appreciation for Chaplin as an artist. I love satire, but Charlie's satire in this movie is clearly coming from bitterness. Some of is a sort of "a funny thing happened on the way to the House Un-American Activities Commission" scenario. Other times, it's the same kind of humor a jilted boyfriend would make about the girlfriend who dumped him.

My displeasure is where Chaplin depicts his preachy toleration. You can't tolerate everything, even in the name of "humanity." We should respect people. We shouldn't respect nor tolerate their bad ideas. 

This is a movie made from the mind and view of a jilted man, broken over a major rejection after a relationship between himself and the United States that lasted several decades.

To put it in modern terminology, the HCUA in the 1950s was simply trying to cancel Communists because Americans generally don't like people trying to overturn American culture.
While Chaplin seems to support even Communist thought to flow freely like all other thoughts, I have to side with G.K. Chesterton on this one who says "there's a thought that stops thought. That is the only thought that ought to be stopped."

Ollie Hopnoodle's Haven of Bliss (1988)

"In Northern Indiana, lakes with fish in them are far and few between."

Director

Dick Bartlett

Cast

Jean Shepherd - Adult Ralph Parker/ Scott

Jerry O'Connell - Young Ralph Parker

Dorothy Lyman - Mrs. Parker

James B. Sikking - Mr. Parker

Jason Clarke Adams - Randy Parker

Cameron Johann - Flick

Ross Eldridge - Schwartz

I'm finally covering this rare gem of a flick. I've mentioned it several times before as it's based on the writing of humorist Jean Shepherd.

Also, more than twice, I've discussed the 1983 Christmas staple, A Christmas Story, the movie about Ralphie Parker and his quest for the Red Ryder BB Gun, based on the book In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash by Shepherd.

Back in November 2019, I shared my thoughts as to whether A Christmas Story is a stupid movie or not. 

I then reviewed its 1994 sequel It Runs in the Family (aka My Summer Story) which not a lot of audiences know about. 

Sometime after that, I attempted to make a comparison between A Christmas Story and the 2010 movie Diary of a Wimpy Kid. It's a stretch, but I did it anyways.
I then discovered a few made-for-TV films about Ralphie and the Parker family also based on the works of Jean Shepherd. Most of them predate A Christmas Story - The Phantom of the Open Hearth (1976), The Great American Fourth of July and Other Disasters (1982), and The Star-Crossed Romance of Josephine Cosnowski (1985). I watched. I reviewed. So, check those out!

I honestly thought that was going to be it for Jean Shepherd content. But... here we are! 

Ollie Hopnoodle's Haven of Bliss is the second movie to follow A Christmas Story. 

The Star-Crossed Romance of Josephine Cosnowski is the first - technically. I say "technically" because it was released the year after A Christmas Story.

But unlike its holiday predecessor, you won't find Ollie Hopnoodle's Haven of Bliss playing on TNT or TBS in a 24-hour loop.  

Incidentally, I intended to watch and review 2012's A Christmas Story 2 - the most unnecessary of sequels - last January. Other reviews got in the way. So, it'll have to wait until next Christmas.

Hopefully that'll give my readers something to look forward to.
By the way, A Christmas Story 2 claims to be "the" sequel. Balderdash, I say!

Ollie Hopnoodle's Haven of Bliss is a made-for-TV film, co-produced by The Disney Channel and PBS. It aired in that order and was released onto VHS by Disney Home Video in 1993. Today, finding that VHS copy will run you nearly three digits. 
I watched a copy included in a set of Jean Shepherd films distributed by a company called "Onesmedia."
The quality seems as though it was recorded to disc from a VHS tape.

The movie starts with black and white images of "wage slaves" burdened by the heavy drudgery of work, work, work. The footage was taken from the silent movie Metropolis. 

Shepherd narrates about the sweat and toil of every working human. It's accompanied by a rather high-pitched rendition of Hi Ho from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs as people march to perform their manual tasks in unison. 

Ralph (Jerry O' Connell- Stand By Me) and his buddies, Flick (Cameron Johann) and Schwartz (Ross Eldridge) endure the incessantly cruel boredom of waiting at the employment office to finally obtain their working papers which Ralph has been eager to have. 

To them, work leads to wealth.  

They finally get their papers and find an opportunity for gainful employment at Scott's Used Furniture Palace.

They're quickly interviewed by Scott himself (Jean Shepherd), whom Ralph describes as a cross between Rasputin and the Wolfman. All three of them are hired on the spot, fueling each of their fantasies of wealth. 

They all celebrate their victory with a soda and talk about what they'll do with the heaps of money they think they're all in for.

Meanwhile, as Ralph shares the news with his family at the breakfast table that he's joined the working class, the family dog Fuzzhead hasn't returned home from his usual morning stroll to...wherever he wanders each day.

Mrs. Parker (Dorothy Lyman - Mama's Family) starts to worry. She tells Mr. Parker (James B. Sikking - Hill Street Blues) that she won't go on the family trip without Fuzzhead. 

James Sikking, Jerry O'Connell, and Dorothy Lyman in
Ollie Hopnoodle's Haven of Bliss

Meanwhile, clocking into their first day at the Used Furniture Palace, the boys are told to haul a heavy refrigerator up several flights of stairs in an apartment building. It's a scene reminiscent of Laurel and Hardy shoving a piano up a long flight. As they struggle, sweat, and swear, it's clear this isn't what they had in mind when joining the ranks of the working class.

Meanwhile, Mrs. Parker makes several "lost dog" posters with some of Ralph's brother, Randy's (Jason Clarke Adams) crayons, and posts them around town.

She offers a reward, though isn't certain what that reward will be.

Soon, people from all over Hohman, Indiana stop by their front porch with all kinds of dogs. Sadly, Fuzzhead isn't among them. 

Elsewhere, sore in parts he didn't know could actually become sore, Ralph has a nightmare about a looming refrigerator haunting him in his bedroom.

The next day, he and his two coworkers have to lift the same kind of fridge up another set of apartment stairs. Being a "galley slave" is hell after all, despite the paycheck.

For two weeks, Ralph works under the thumb of Scott in his palace of used furniture only to meet with the fate of being fired - $2 deducted from his paycheck for the work gloves. 

Later, while out driving, Mr. Parker spots Fuzzhead in the back seat of a luxurious Rolls Royce driving in front of them.

He chases the car down to a huge estate where a wealthy woman gets out with Fuzzhead.

At first, she's reluctant to give up her newly found poopsy-woopsie, but realizes it's best the dog goes back with its rightful family.

And Fuzzhead is left with his memories of the decadent life of prepared steaks and soft pillows as he returns to cheap canned dogfood and sleeping on the floor.

As the family is ready to take a trip, but worried how they'll manage to do so with Ralph's job, he tells them at dinner that he quit. 

When they ask why, he says he wanted to spend more time with his family.

So, they pack up the Chevy Sedan and head to a cabin at Clear Lake near Lake Michigan. 

Mr. Parker is anxious to catch some fish. And Mrs. Parker is anxious to just get away.

Their road trip includes the common setbacks such as the persistent whining from the kids, Randy's car sickness, Mr. Parker running out of gas because he'll only fuel up with Texas Royal Supreme Blue gasoline, and Mrs. Parker stopping at roadside shops and stands for useless kitsch décor. On top of all that, Ralph admits he forgot to pack the fishing tackle. 

When they finally make it to Ollie's Haven of Bliss cabins and campsite, they stay at the cabin named "Maria" as they're accustomed to. But Mr. Parker learns the fish have stopped biting.

Ollie Hopnoodle's Haven of Bliss is a wistful movie than utilizes some of the same style as A Christmas Story. 

In one scene Ralph breaks the fourth wall for a brief moment as Shepherd narrates what he's thinking, just as he did in the Christmas movie. 

In another scene that might be the only nod to A Christmas Story, the Old Man gets a flat tire. Ralph sticks his head out of the car window and asks "Can I help?" 

Mr. Parker responds with, "Are you kidding me?" 

I also caught another scene scored with music from Sergei Prokofiev's Peter and the Wolf, just as A Christmas Story did.   

The actual vacation half of the movie felt a little like a diluted National Lampoon's Vacation (1983), though much of the content is based on stories by Shepherd that were first published in Playboy magazine back in the 1960s. They were later published in his collection of short stories called Wanda Hickey's Night of Golden Memories in 1971, 

The movie is a bit corny at times. I still find it entertaining enough with several relatable scenarios and anecdotes.
I can imagine fans of A Christmas Story finding the most joy out of this film. 

The cast is well assembled, making the story of the all too familiar family road trip synonymous with comedy. It's a decent enough follow-up to the holiday classic regardless if it intends to be a follow-up or not.

Sikking plays Ralph's Old Man in a style that closely resembles Darren McGavin's performance in A Christmas Story.

To most audiences, McGavin is "the Old Man." 

Sikking fills the role well, with an ever-present look of confusion mixed with stern intent on his face. 

I also liked the relationship depicted between Ralph and his father. There seems to be a little more closeness between the two. 

Considering that Ralph's dad bought him his coveted Red Ryder BB gun in the previous film (the one person he didn't directly ask) it's a nice, subtle touch for the two to have a little closer relationship.   
Shepherd knows how to capture the world through the eyes of a kid facing the hard truth, with no soft way of putting it, that despite all of our plans and goals and fantasies, life is way too heavy for us to force and push it in the direction we want it to go. Only by luck or by chance will it cooperate with our demands.

It's the daily grind that makes vacation glamorous. The more we work, the more we yearn for and appreciate vacation. You can't have rest and relaxation without putting in your 40-hours a week. 

For many, the trek to our vacation spot is half of the burden.

The Hard Way (1991) - Video Rental Chicken Fat

"Don't eat like me, don't sit like me, and do not smoke like me!"

Director

John Badham

Cast

James Woods - Lt. John Moss

Michael J. Fox - Nick Lang

Stephen Lang - The Party Crasher

Annabella Sciorra - Susan

Delroy Lindo - Capt. Brix

LL Cool J - Det. Billy

Luis Guzman - Det. Pooley

The Hard Way starring Michael J. Fox and James Woods is another film from my past. As I mentioned before, I went through a cop movie phase in my mid to late teen years, and into my early 20s.  

It's a movie that's different and original for Michael J. Fox.

I don't remember when exactly I found this movie. I just know it was another video store rental favorite of mine back when I was a teenager. I eventually found a VHS copy at my local Borders Books and Music out in Emeryville, Calif., sometime in the mid-90s. 

I had a small list of these kind of police comedies I loved watching such as K-9 with Jim Belushi, Turner & Hooch with Tom Hanks, all the Beverly Hills Cop movies starting with part three and working backwards, and Metro with Eddie Murphy. 

The latter was filmed in San Francisco, which is why I took a special interest in that flick. Incidentally, Beverly Hills Cop III was filmed at Great America theme park in Santa Clara, California - my old stopping ground during my childhood summers. Hence, my affinity for the least popular third movie in that franchise. Back then, Great America was owned by Paramount Studios and therefore was called "Paramount's Great America." 

Anyways, The Hard Way has stuck with me until now as I write this.

It's a buddy and cop comedy movie about New York Police Lieutenant, John Moss (James Woods), who's investigating a serial killer vigilante who calls himself "the Party Crasher" (Stephen Lang). 

Moss is a closed-off sharp tongued officer with a short fuse. He's in a fairly new relationship with Susan (Annabella Sciorra) whom he's trying to impress. Susan is a single mom trying to find a good man to help raise, and be a positive influence for, her young daughter, Bonnie (Christina Ricci).

His relationship, his job, and his inability to stop the Party Crasher are all that occupy his mind. His difficulty with opening up to Susan is working against his relationship with her. 

Meanwhile in Hollywood, Nick Lang (Michael J. Fox) is a spoiled and dissatisfied actor known for his action movie character "Smoking" Joe Gunn who's a mix between Indiana Jones and James Bond.

With a new movie just coming out, "Smoking Gun II," Lang wants to land a new, realistic, grittier role so he'll be taken more seriously as an actor. 

He sees the role of police agent "Ray Casanova" in an upcoming movie "The Good, The Badge, and the Ugly" as the perfect opportunity to accomplish this goal. He believes landing this role will boost his acting status to something more serious, and a way to avoid being typecast.

Lang sees Moss in a news interview on T.V. regarding the Party Crasher during which Moss has an angry outburst and makes an obscene comment.

This is the kind of character Lang wants Casanova to be. Angry. No-nonsense. Quick with the cynical comments and insults. Strong and determined. 

He decides to arrange the opportunity to shadow Moss around in order to study him as an officer in preparation for the role.

He's able to get the NYC Mayor to team him up with Moss. Through Police Captain Brix (Delroy Lindo), he's paired with Moss under the guise of being his "new partner" using the pseudonym Ray Casanova.

Much to Moss's chagrin, looking after Lang means being pulled from the Party Crasher case.

Furious, Moss goes out of his way to make sure Lang understands he doesn't want him around. He even attempts to ditch Lang, defying Brix's orders. On top of all this, he continues to investigate the Party Crasher case. 

James Woods and Michael J. Fox in The Hard Way.

The more Lang tries getting to know Moss, and what makes him the way he is inside and outside, the more irritated and angry Moss is, and tries to lose him.

Susan even turns to Lang for relationship advice because she thinks Lang really is Moss's police partner and surely must know more about him than she does. 

But the more his girlfriend and the Hollywood star familiarize themselves with him, the more Moss closes himself up.

While to story centers on Lang and Moss, the audience doesn't get a lot of insight into why Moss keeps himself closed off.

In one seen, Lang blatantly asks Moss, "Will you open up? I just want to know what it feels like to be inside your skin."

Moss flies off the handle, and shouts back "I don't want you inside my skin! You understand? It's private! What's in there belongs to me!" 

Even Susan asks him about himself during their date at a pizza place, claiming she's told him everything about herself and Bonnie but he's never told them about himself.

In a hilarious scene where Lang and Moss are talking in a bar after Susan snaps at Moss, Lang starts pretending to be Susan in an attempt to help Moss learn how to open up a bit to a woman like Susan. 

Lang, acting as Susan, asks him how "someone so strong and so in charge isn't really comfortable in who he is." 

First Moss isn't comfortable with the question, as would be expected. Then he says that because he's divorced, every time he's serious about a woman, he gets scared. So, there's some insight. 

Fear is a controlling emotion. And it's relatable. Still, there's room for more insight into Moss. Maybe further insight would have made the movie better. It could make the audience more sympathetic and relatable to this rough and angry cop. But the audience is limited to this small bit of dialogue. Why does he get scared? What happened when he divorced? Why did he divorce in the first place?

Spoiler:

The movie ends with a quick resolve as Moss finally stops the Party Crasher. The end then cuts to Moss, Susan, and Moss's fellow police officers watching the Hollywood premier of Lang's new movie. We know Moss learns to express himself to Susan, and by the end, they're likely married.

Though Moss saves Susan from the Party Crasher in the end, even that's not enough as far as the audience's understanding of him.

Still The Hard Way is a fun, hilarious movie. There's great chemistry between Woods and Fox. Watching them work off of each other is entertaining. 

It's too bad they didn't make more movies together. They're both quite a pair that seem opposite of each other, which is what makes them work well together.

Stephen Lang (Avatar, Don't Breath) portrays his character as high strung, unsympathetic, and self-righteous. 

Stephen Lang as "The Party Crasher."

Stephen pulls these traits off wonderfully. 

He's an intimidating presence on screen using a lot of energy to leave the audience with a killer whose strong cold personality is unforgettable. 

In one scene where Moss confronts the Party Crasher in a stake-out gone wrong, holding a hostage at gun point, he tells Moss that he's not the bad guy because he hunts down all the criminals that make Moss's job difficult. 

Somewhere in that exchange, Stephen leaves the audience with a small spec of sympathy. It's visible in that clear frustration the Party Crasher has towards Moss because he doesn't see what he's trying to do. To him, Moss is just too much of a cop to see the "good" he thinks he's doing for society.   

Overall, The Hard Way is a hilarious, entertaining movie that deserves a little more attention.

It tends to trip under the radar despite its star cast - Fox, Woods, LL Cool J, Stephen Lang, Annabella Sciorra, a very young Christina Ricci, and a cameo from Penny Marshall.

According to imdb.com, this was Ricci's fourth movie. Her next role after The Hard Way was Wednesday Addams in The Addams Family released the same year. 

This film is directed by John Badham who's notable directorial work before this movie includes Saturday Night Fever, WarGames, and Short Circuit. Right before directing The Hard Way, Badham directed Mel Gibson and Goldie Hawn in Bird on a Wire. 

I do like this movie. It has held up all these years since my cop movie phase back in the 1990s. It's not perfect nor does it need to be perfect. The Hard Way takes the old buddy cop comedy formula, and adds some originality to it. The movie accomplishes precisely what it means to. And I recommend it.

Opportunity Knocks (1990) - Video Rental Chicken Fat

"Your major life decisions aren't made in the board room. They're made in the bathroom."

Director 
Donald Petrie

Cast
Dana Carvey - Eddie Farrell
Todd Graff - Lou Pesquino
Julie Campbell - Dr. Annie Malkin
Robert Loggia - Milt Malkin
Doris Belack - Mona Malkin
James Tolkan - Sal Nichols


A week ago, one of my favorite YouTube channels, "Hack the Movies" posted a video critiquing the 2002 Dana Carvey film The Master of Disguise, called The Master of Disguise is Miserable.
During the review, the host Tony is asked by his co-host, Joe from the YouTube channel "Movie Dumpster" if he recalled any other previous movies with Dana Carvey in the starring role aside from Wayne's World (1992) and Wayne's World 2 (1993). 
"Nothing!" is Tony's answer. 
And that's where Carvey's 1990 movie Opportunity Knocks comes in. Does anyone remember this movie?
I had Opportunity Knocks in my line-up of reviews before Hack the Movies's video as I have a little history with this film. 
In my post about Cloak & Dagger, I explain the use of the term "video rental chicken fat." Opportunity Knocks was the movie I wanted to start this whole "chicken fat" thread of reviews off with. But I started off with Cloak & Dagger because I hadn't seen that since I was a little critic.
Back in my sixth or seventh grade year of elementary school I found Opportunity Knocks sitting on the shelf of my local rental store. 
Wayne's World was a movie I and all my elementary school pals loved. We quoted it a lot. We were familiar with it. Everyone was telling everyone else to "party on" or ending every quip with the exclamation, "Not!" 

So, I was familiar with Dana Carvey, aside from seeing him in his reoccurring roles on Saturday Night Live - The Church Lady, Pumping Up with Hanz and Franz, and his George H.W. Bush impression.
This was also the time when my 13+ year old self was shifting attention away from the G and PG rated movies, and looking to PG-13, and the R rated films when I could get away with it. 
I recognized Dana Carvey from Wayne's World so this movie caught my eye. And it's rated PG-13. 
I rented it several times, and bragged to my friends how much I loved it. I didn't love it because it's good. It's not good. I loved it because it had Carvey, and it wasn't rated G nor PG. 
I clung to Opportunity Knocks as my proof of maturity in movie taste. I used it to prove I wasn't a kid. I used it to prove my interest in movies was turning adult (in a nice way, I mean), sophisticated, and cool. The movie completely centers on adults doing adulty things like stealing, lying, spending money, getting involved in romances based completely on lies. This was all certainly key to maturing in my taste in films! My poor 13-year old self...how naïve you were.
In this movie, Carvey plays a con artist named Eddie Farrell who, along with his partner Lou Pesquino (Todd Graff), pull off quick con jobs. They attempt a con in which they visit a random home pretending to be repairmen checking on a neighborhood gas leak. 
As this con job ends up failing, they decide to burglarize another house. They can tell no ones home because of all the newspapers in the driveway, and all the lights are turned off. 
It's clear the house they break into is owned by someone very wealthy based on the amount of high priced items inside. 
During the robbery, the phone rings and the caller leaves a message on the answering machine. As they listen, they learn the homeowner is overseas and won't return for a month. The caller also indicates he won't be able to house sit afterall. 
Eddie and Lou take advantage of this opportunity to take over the house, and crash there for the night.
The two are also on the run from local gangster Sal Nichols (James Tolkan - Back to the Future) whom they owe a lot of money to. Hence, the con jobs. 
The next day, they get separated after stealing a car belonging to one of Nichols's henchmen, or so they think. 

Robert Loggia and Dana Carvey in Opportunity Knocks

While cruising around in the stolen car, Nichols calls on the car phone. Farrell answers the phone to joke around with the owner, only to realize it's his car. So, they ditch the vehicle on the side of the road where it's stripped by vandals. 
Farrell hides in the empty house and tries to locate Lou to tell him he's at the "stereo house." 
The next morning, Farrell walks out of the shower to find a lady named Mona in the living room. They both scream in alarm. Farrell, because he just got caught. And Mona, because Farrell is wearing nothing but a towel. 
Shocked, he tries to talk his way out of being in a house that's not his. But Mona, who's Eddie the homeowner's mother, thinks he's her son's house sitter and best friend, Jonathan Albertson. Apparently, she's never met nor seen Jonathan before. 
Not missing a beat, he goes along with it and pretends to be Jonathan. 
Mona's husband, Milt (Robert Loggia) runs in from outside as he heard their screams. 
Milt is a wealthy business man who operates a successful bathroom fixture company. 
They take a quick liking to Farrell especially after hearing so much about him from their son. They invite him to lunch at their country club, and introduce them to their daughter, Annie (Julia Campbell) who works as a doctor.
She's gorgeous. And Farrell, playing the role of Jonathan, is interested in her but needs to work a bit to win her affection.

Later, Milt even offers him a job on his company board, which he reluctantly takes.
While working for Milt, and being impressively successful at what he does despite not having a clue as to what he's supposed to do, Milt shows him his most priced possession - an autographed baseball which he keeps in an office safe behind a hefty stack of cash. 
Farrell's Uncle Max (Milo O' Shea) and Aunt Connie (Sally Gracie) encourage him not to let his feelings for Annie get in the way of what he does best - con jobs. 
They tell him to use Annie as a way to Milt's money so they can pay off Sal. Farrell is torn. His conscience, perhaps for the first time in years, starts to bother him as he agrees to use her, get Milt's money, and leave them behind.
Opportunity Knocks fails at being the romantic comedy it's supposed to be. 

Watching Carvey's character try to win over the love of an intelligent medical professional is like watching a 12-year old trying to win the affection of an intelligent medical professional. I've seen Hallmark do a better job at telling a romantic comedy several of their Christmas movies that use the same formula over and over again. 
The story is peppered with forced opportunities for Carvey to do his comedic impersonations such as his Indian accent, and Asian accent which I'm sure many will find offensive. The movie also throws in his famous impersonation of George H.W. Bush made popular on Saturday Night Live. Again, it's forced. 

Evidently, making juvenile jokes and singing 'Born to be Wild' in front of a group of drunk club-goers is all it took for fake Jonathan to win Annie over. Nothing deep or sincere is needed. It makes the intelligent doctor, Annie, seem void of any true depth of character. In other words, it took poor writing to get them together. 
At this time, I also started getting into cop movies like K-9 with Jim Belushi, Turner & Hooch, The Hard Way with Michael J. Fox and James Woods. That one is rated R! Yeah... I wasn't messin' around. I also started watching NYPD Blue on T.V. in the mid 90s. It definitely was a phase. 
At some point, I moved on. But Opportunity Knocks is a movie that's been stuck in my mind all this time. 
The ending (spoiler) is a complete joke, but not the kind the producers intended.
This is a movie I don't care if I spoil or not. The entire relationship between Farrell and Annie is based entirely on a lie conjured up by Farrell. 
In the end, when he admits to everyone who he really is and what he does for a living, they're naturally crestfallen and heartbroken. They can't believe how far he duped them, especially after they took to him naturally and made him a part of the most important aspects of their lives. 
With true feelings for Annie, Farrell goes to see her at the hospital where she works. She asks him politely, but angrily, to leave. He tells her if she says she doesn't love him, he'll leave. So, she tells him precisely that.

He leaves as he said he would - the only time in the movie where he's actually honest. 

But she has second thoughts running through her mind. 
Annie runs out of the hospital to look for him. 

Farrell is crossing the street when she yells "how dare you!" 
He starts going into an explanation when he gets hit by a car in the middle of the street. 
Panicked, Annie runs to him and starts asking if he's o.k. She then says she loves him when he doesn't respond.
Farrell replies, "that's all I wanted to hear." Then they kiss. 

The camera pans up to reveal Lou and Uncle Max behind the wheel of the car that hit him - a con tactic we see at the beginning of the movie.
I explain the ending because I mentioned bad writing earlier. This is bad writing. I can't emphasize that enough.
All Annie knows about Farrell is that his real name is Eddie, not Jonathan, and that he cons people for a living. Even while they went on dates and she willingly endured his little juvenile jokes to impress her, she knows nothing about him. All he did to her was lie. But she still loves him? Does she think they'll have a meaningful relationship from this point forward? How does she know he's not lying to her when he says he loves her? He just admitted to using her to get to her dad's money. Farrell lied all the way to his getting hit by a car. Even that was a lie. It has all the appearances of a happy ending, but is it really? 

The story in itself isn't a bad idea. It's just not thought through very well.
Opportunity Knocks is so saturated in immature romantic sap story telling, it can't even come to a logical conclusion.

Carvey even resorted to using his Saturday Night Live character, "the Church Lady" in the trailer to entice audiences to watch Opportunity Knocks. She has nothing to do with this movie whatsoever.

Carvey's humor in general is really hit or miss with me. He's funny and entertaining in the Wayne's World movies. He's funny in his Saturday Night Live skits which is the perfect platform for his impersonations and style of humor. The only part of his 2016 Netflix Comedy Special Straight White Male I found funny was the last routine - John Lennon talking to Paul McCartney from heaven about Paul's duet with Kanye West. This leads to Paul telling John about Facebook and smartphones. That got laughs from me. Carvey's impersonations are spot on.

His comedy in Opportunity Knocks is funny once or twice. Most of it is forced because of what audiences at the time were accustomed to seeing when it came to Carvey's wit. Impersonations. 

As for the rest of the movie, it's just a throwaway romantic story with little to no effort behind it. 

Director Donald Petrie has some notable titles under his belt such as Grumpy Old Men (1993) and Mystic Pizza (1988). I even enjoy his 2000 movie Miss Congeniality with Sandra Bullock. I guess they can't all be winners. 

Opportunity Knocks isn't worth remembering, so I don't blame "Hack the Movies" not recalling it in their video. I didn't realize this back when I was a young teenager looking to PG-13 movies prove somehow prove I was maturing. Better late than never, I guess. 

Cloak & Dagger (1984) - Video Rental Chicken Fat

"Jack Flack always escapes."

Director 

Richard Franklin

Cast

Henry Thomas - Davey Osborne

Dabney Coleman - Hal Osborne/ Jack Flack

Christina Nigra - Kim Gardener

Michael Murphy - Dr. Rice

William Forsythe - Morris

Video Rental Chicken Fat?

Recently, some sad news broke that marks the final leg of an era. One of the last (if not the last) chains of video rental stores closed its doors - another victim of the havoc-wreaking Covid19 epidemic. 

All of the Family Video locations are closing after 42-years of business. 

In a January 5 letter posted on the business's website, the company said that thanks to Covid19, both foot traffic and movie releases grew slim. 

There happens to be a Family Video across the street from my place of employment. They're selling all...and I mean "all"...their inventory at largely discounted prices.

So, I meandered through their aisles of former rentals for the last time in my life looking for hard-to-find movie titles to claim as my own.

Among the lot was the 1984 movie Cloak & Dagger. Finding this particular movie, and carrying it to the check out took me back to those elementary school days when, on some Fridays after school, I'd fling myself into the family Toyota van while still in my parochial school uniform to go rent a movie for the weekend at the local video store. Family movies was what I was limited to. Occasionally I'd sneak over to the horror section to look at the tape covers. Some of those have stayed with me to this day. That's another post for another time.   

California Video was my local rental place at the Lincoln Square Shopping Center along Mountain Boulevard in Oakland, California. Even now, I have a nostalgic love for video rental stores. And with the closing of Family Video, I get a sense this is truly the end of movie rental locations. Things change. Better things come along. Still, someday I'll make it to Deschutes County, Oregon to visit the "last" Blockbuster Video.

Before that ever happens, I'm going to check out some movies I recall once warming the shelves of California Video. Some I've seen before. Others, I only remember the pictures on the tape covers. I'll set these particular posts "Video Rental Chicken Fat." 

These titles somehow lasted this long on rental shelves. I know because I picked up a few of them at Family Video last month.

Ok, so...why "chicken fat?" 

One of my favorite sources of news and information was and still is Mad Magazine. Anyone who has ever read Mad should remember those small background gags or side-cartoons drawn on the blank margins outside the actual comics thanks to the artistry and wit of cartoonists Sergio Aragones or Will Elder. These are referred to as "chicken fat." They're just as present as the main course on each page, but off to the side. They're more like the desert to Mad's main content. You could cut it out of the main strips and gags, and they become their own things. 

Today, the more common term is "Easter Egg." These movies are kind of like that. They're the movies that were in the background warming the shelves of California Video. I don't recall ever having to be on a waiting list to rent them. Some of these are favorites from my past. They're titles I haven't forgotten despite not having watched them in years.

My labeling these movies "chicken fat" certainly isn't a reflection of the film being good or bad, or unnecessary. I need to make that clear.

 

~The Review~

With 1980s pop culture still flooding toy aisles, current social trends, YouTube commentary videos, and our general nostalgic reverie, some movies of that decade still don't seem to get as much attention as other movies. I mean, there's so many after all. 

Cloak & Dagger is one of those movies. Sure, some remember it. But it doesn't seem like it's as fondly celebrated through merchandising and what not like other films of the 1980s. 

Henry Thomas as Davey in Cloak & Dagger

This is a little odd to me. The movie is as 1980s as it gets. It stars Henry Thomas who played Elliott in E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial two years before. 

It's also tied in with an Atari 5200 game also called Cloak & Dagger. 

At the time of the movie's release, the game was still underdevelopment with the working title called Agent X.  

When the movie producers heard about the game, both they and Atari collaborated with each other's project. Videogame-based movies were pretty novel at the time, especially as other movies such as Tron (1982) and The Last Starfighter (1984) were hitting theaters. In fact, Cloak & Dagger was released along with The Last Starfighter as a double feature.

In this movie, Henry Thomas plays 11-year old Davey Osborne who's often within his own imagination along with the fictional spy Jack Flack (Dabney Coleman), and making up adventures. He pretends Jack Flack is accompanying him where ever he goes. Davey even carries around a realistic looking water gun because a good spy always has protection.

Davey's real friend, Kim Gardener (Christina Nigra) tags along with him on daily routines, reluctantly playing along as "Lady Ace" in Davey's Jack Flack imaginings. 

He and Kim stop by a gaming store in the mall as they do regularly, operated by their friend Morris (William Forsythe). He's a video game expert and software engineer. Morris, jealous of how well Davey plays the Atari, sends the kids on a "mission" to buy some Twinkies at the vending machine inside the offices of a game developing company nearby.

While inside the building, Davey and Kim separate. Rather than take the elevator, because Jack Flack would know better than to place himself in such a vulnerable position, Davey takes the stairs where he overhears two spies talk about smuggling secret U.S. information out of the country. He then witnesses a murder. 

The victim dressed in a white lab coat stumbles down the staircase and gives Davey a Cloak & Dagger video game cartridge telling him to keep it safe. The spies burst through the door at the top of the landing, and finish off their victim.

They see Davey, and begin shooting at him. Luckily he escapes.

Davey tells the building's security about what he witnessed, and leads them to where the victim was killed, but his body isn't there. 

The police take him home to his father, Hal (also played by Dabney Coleman).

Meanwhile, both he and his father are dealing with the loss of Davey's mother.  

Hal, who works as an Air Force pilot, is struggling at being a single parent. His job requires him to leave Davey alone much too often. 

When Davey tells his dad about what he witnessed, he thinks his son is acting out one of his Jack Flack fantasy adventures. Hal sees these fantasies as Davey's way of coping with the loss of his mom. 

Nevertheless, those same spies, led by a guy named Dr. Rice (Michael Murphy), find Davey and break into his house while his dad is at work. 

He escapes, and the pursuit is on. The spies want the game cartridge and are willing to do whatever they can to get it. Davey wants to figure out what national secrets are hidden and then turn it into the proper authorities. 

Davey often looks to his imaginary companion, who looks exactly like his father, for help along the way. 

Jack appears while Davey is trying to convince his dad about what he witnessed. Jack tells Davey that his dad is useless when it comes to any kind of help. 

Davey continues running and hiding throughout the city, narrowly escape bullets, hitmen, chasing, kidnapping, and close calls.  

He then takes the cartridge to Morris, who plays through the game and figures out how to access the secrets. 

Rice and the spies kidnap Kim and hold her until Davey hands over the game.

Dabney Coleman and Henry Thomas

It really gets intense, and Davey learns not everyone can be trusted. 

Coleman is great acting as two different characters distinctly. Jack is the leadership Davey is thriving for as his dad is struggling to be the support Davey needs. Yet, his words are clearly out of the mind of 11-year old Davey. Jack's actions and instructions reflect what an 11-year old would expect his hero to say. Coleman pulls that off well.

One scene that left me confused occurs during a stand-off between Davey and Dr. Rice. As Rice has a gun pulled on Davey, cornering him against a concrete wall, Davey also has a gun but is afraid to shoot first. Jack appears to Davey, encouraging him to hurry up and fire. 

Rice watches as Davey talks to someone he can't see. Jack then attempts to save Davey by becoming translucent and grab Rice's attention. Or so Davey is imagining.

But Rice turns towards Jack and fires several times, hitting the cement wall.  

So, could Rice suddenly see Jack, whom the audience is led to believe is Davey's imaginary friend? That entire scene threw me off.

But the love between Davey and his father unfolds well in the story, and both Thomas and Coleman depict their character's respective struggles with each other convincingly.   

Though Hal doesn't believe Davey's tale of murder, and being chased down by spies to capture government secrets hidden in a video game, he still shows the support Davey needs, especially in one scene were Davey asks his dad if he could sleep in his bed for the night. Hal agrees to it.

Christina Nigra plays a character who's just a typical kid. It's not a stand-out performance, nor does it need to be. But she plays her character as both exasperated and purposely trying to be as normal and straight and she can alongside Davey. Kim wants the adults to know Davey is the abnormal one, and she's there to watch over him. 

It's cute, just as it's meant to be.   

Cloak & Dagger was a favorite of mine growing up. Watching it more than 30 years later, there's certainly more to appreciate. 

The movie is based on Cornell Woolrich's novelette The Boy Who Cried Murder. And it's not the first screen adaptation of his story.

The 1949 film noir The Window starring Barbara Hale and Arthur Kennedy is the first. The 1966 British thriller The Boy Who Cried Murder is a remake of The Window. And the 1970 film Eyewitness has a similar plot to the original story. 

My mind lumps Cloak & Dagger with the movies Monster Squad (1987) and Flight of the Navigator (1986). These were titles that graced the family section of my old video rental store which caught my 10-year old attention. They were the movies I'd watch when I was home sick from school, or while stuck inside on a rainy weekend.

It's a fun movie. Cloak & Dagger is, however, a family movie that's dated in its violent depictions and use of guns. A few characters are shot and killed. Some might find Davey being shot at by adults rather disturbing. 

It doesn't necessarily standout for its somewhat predictable story elements. What does stand out is its depiction of family first through adversity, as well as trust. 

And somehow, this movie hasn't fallen into the nostalgic limelight among sentimental enthusiasts of pop culture from 30 years ago.  It has some memorable parts. It's a bit haphazard at times but makes up for it with good acting and intense action for a family picture - action that doesn't slow down. 

Dracula, Sovereign of the Damned (1980) - Comic to Movie #10

"In Transylvania stands a sinister castle - a fortress of shelter of evil and death. The lord of this castle is the tragic and terrifying personification of the cruel conflict between the affirmation of life and the corruption of death."

Directors

Akinori Nagaoka and Minoru Okazaki

English Voice Cast

Dracula - Tom Wyner 

Dolores - Arlene Banas 

Rachel Van Helsing - Melanie MacQueen

Frank Drake - Daniel Woren

Janus - Max Christian

Satan - Richard Epcar

My search for movies based on comics continues with the made-for-TV Japanese anime film, Dracula, Sovereign of the Damned.

Directed by Akinori Nagaoka and Minoru Okazaki (who later directed several episodes of Dragon Ball and Dragon Ball Z), this movie is based on Marvel's horror comic series The Tomb of Dracula. 

It was released in Japan in 1980, and then acquired by Harmony Gold Production Company, dubbed in English, and barely released on U.S. cable television in 1983. 

Marvel's comic series, created by Marv Wolfman, Gerry Conway, Gardner Fox and Archie Goodwin, ran from 1972 to 1979, with 70 issues surrounding a group of vampire hunters facing off with Dracula as well as other supernatural creatures and monsters. 

Once in a while, Dracula would team up with his adversaries to battle these other-worldly beings. But normally it was one against the other.

The movie starts with a narrator bolstering up how evil Dracula is.  

While living in Transylvania, he was besieged by a group of vampire hunters, flees and hides in Boston. 

Later, a cult calling itself "The Disciples of the Black Mask" attempts to summon ol' scratch himself, Satan, in order to present him with a bride. They hold this ritual inside a church for the sake of desecrating it. 

The cult disciples do summon an entity whom they believe is Satan, and present to him a bride named Dolores.

He snatches Dolores and flies out the window. The disciples realize it was Dracula rather than Satan. 

He takes her back to his downtown apartment where he tries to turn her into a vampire by consuming her blood, but he can't bring himself to do it because he's fallen in love. 

He flees in frustration to feed on the blood of other women so as to quench his insatiable thirst.

Dracula does make Dolores his wife, and they have a son together named Janus. 

After his birth, Dracula comes clean to Dolores about his true identity as she believed he was really Satan the whole time.

The real Satan manifests himself to the leader of the cult, and the two swear revenge on Dracula for taking Dolores as his own bride. 

Meanwhile, two vampire hunters named Dr. Hans Hawker, Rachel Van Helsing, and their vampire-sniffing dog, Elijah, seek the help of a guy named Frank Drake as he's highly skilled in martial arts, in finding and killing Dracula. 

He's reluctant at first, but does decide to join their efforts.

A year goes by, and Dolores has since regained her self-esteem thanks to Dracula. And his once cold and unsympathetic heart has warmed up with love once again, just as before he was turned to a vampire. 

Also, the small gang of hunters still haven't found him. 

For some reason I missed, Dracula and his family head to the church where the cult holds its rituals. Unbeknownst to them, but knownst to us, they're followed there by the vampire hunters. 

They become trapped by the cult leader who tries to kill Dracula with a silver bullet. (I thought silver bullets only killed werewolves, but I guess in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, they also kill vampires). 

The bullet misses Dracula, and hits baby Janus instead, killing him. 

Dracula kills the cult leader in anger, and the hunters then make their presence known. They intend to kill him, and Dolores begs Dracula not to attack and kill them instead. 

Filled with anger and sorrow, he flees the church. 

Later, Dolores goes to the grave of her son to kill herself in sadness and despair for having given herself so freely to the service of the devil. 

Heaven then intervenes. She begs heaven for forgiveness, and Janus is revived.

He rises from the grave as an adult, complete with body tights, and has a God-given mission to kill Dracula. She begs him not to, but he can't go against his divine duties. Janus changes to a gold eagle, and flies off to kill his father.

Father and son fight after Dracula wanders the night searching for a victim, but yet again, Dracula flees.

Satan comes around and takes away Dracula's immortality and the rest of his powers, leaving him a mortal. 

Janus won't kill him since he's mortal, but Dracula turns to another vampire named Lela requesting she make him a vampire once again.

Lela refuses, and turns on him in revenge as he's the one who turned her into a vampire.

So, he's forced to return to Transylvania where he seeks the aid of another vampire named Malissa. 

He orders her, as her master, to make him a vampire once again, but she also refuses. 

Malissa says she has a new master named Sir Tomo, whom she calls on to destroy Dracula.

Sir Tomo raises other vampires from the dead to attack him. 

The vampire hunters have also followed Dracula to Transylvania were both the undead, and the vampire hunters, battle him in the ultimate showdown.

There's so much happening in this 60 minute film, filled with a lot of exposition. 

The poor English dubs, and stiff animation reminiscent of early 80s Saturday morning cartoons, it was a bit difficult to get invested in this movie. 

At times, I didn't know who I was supposed to be rooting for. Did Dracula turn good despite being labeled all sorts of nasty things pertaining to darkness and evil? He's even called the "tragic and terrifying personification of the cruel conflict between the affirmation of life and the corruption of death." But, in the plus column, Dracula is a good husband and father. 

Tomb of Dracula #10 - first appearance of
Blade, the Vampire-Slayer

With that being the case, do the vampire hunters need to step back in their quest to kill him? Does he deserve a second chance? Well, no, because in the end, he wants to be evil. Why, though? He felt love once again just like he did before becoming a vampire. And he embraced it. It brought him happiness once again.

At other times, I couldn't follow certain decisions made by the characters. For instance, after Dolores repents for having turned to Satan, she goes back to the church where the rituals take place. Why? 

Dracula, Sovereign of the Damned is very much a melodramatic horror love story.

Somehow, overall it's a fun watch despite the flaws, loads of exposition, bad English dubs, choppy animation, and a scene where Dracula eats a hamburger. Yeah!...That's in there.  

Scenes of horror are also depicted, mostly with close-ups of Dracula's gleaming fangs piercing the slender necks of his female victims, draining their blood, and leaving them as soon-to-be undead corpses doomed to continue his evil work of creating more vampires.

The ending is a fun horror ride as the movie saves monsters and mayhem for the last act.  

It took some patience to get there.

Some of the animation was good. At other times, it seemed far less than perfect, even cheap. Despite that, some of the imagery is memorable and well done, making the movie a true horror film indeed.

The storyline for the movie diminishes a lot of the subplots from the comic series, or omits them altogether.

For instance, the comic series introduced readers to Blade, the Vampire Slayer in The Tomb of Dracula #10. He becomes a reluctant ally to the vampire hunters in the comics. Had Blade made an appearance in this animated movie, chances are it may have been more well known that it currently is.

He was portrayed by Wesley Snipes in the films Blade, Blade II, and Blade Trinity. Sticky Fingaz played the character in the TV series Blade back in 2006. 

Comic book fans, and fans of horror in general, can certainly find something enjoyable in this production. But it could certainly use a retooling for sure.

Editor's Note:

Previously, I had mentioned a list I made containing approximately 30 titles of obscure and under-rated movies based on comic books. I originally intended to review those 30 titles. But I've found that a portion of them are difficult, if not nearly impossible to find. So, that list of 30 will be cut back, and I'll just have to watch and review what I can. 

At this point, I'm thinking of reviewing no more than another 10 comic-based movies. Afterwards, I'll move on to my next little project for this blog - a project I'm excited to start. 

The Star-Crossed Romance of Josephine Cosnowski (1985)

"The scent of stuffed cabbage wafted on a soft breeze is dangerously erotic. A new chapter in my life had begun."

Director

Fred Barzyk

Cast

Jean Shepherd - Adult Ralph Parker

Peter Kowanko - Young Ralph

Katherine Kamhi - Josephine Cosnowski

George Coe - The Old Man

Barbara Bolton - Mrs. Parker

Jay Ine - Randy

(SPOILERS)

Boy, I really lucked out this Christmas. I didn't receive many gifts, which is alright by me because I asked for little. What I did tear into (literally) on Christmas morning was more than I expected. 

I don't know how she did it or where she found it, but my loving wife found a DVD collection of hard-to-find Jean Shepherd films. In fact, the quality of these films suggest they were copied from VHS copies.

As I've stated before, Shepherd is the Norman Rockwell of story telling. His autobiographical character Ralph Parker, made popular by the 1983 holiday staple A Christmas Story (not included in the collection) has been depicted elsewhere on television a few times before the Christmas movie's release, and afterwards.

A company called "Onesmedia" compiled this collection of films, television programs, documentaries, narrations, and the like from Shepherd. It even includes the next couple of films I intend to watch and comment on for this unofficial Jean Shepherd movie extravaganza.  

Those other movies I've critiqued previously, based on Shepherd's writings, includes The Phantom of the Open Hearth, The Great American Fourth of July and Other Disasters and My Summer Story (aka It Runs in the Family). But I'm not done. There's a few more movies out there centered on Ralphie Parker like this one from 1985.

The Star-Crossed Romance of Josephine Cosnowski was the first movie (albeit a made-for-TV movie) about Ralphie to be released after A Christmas Story. I don't think it's much of a stretch to say this is the first sequel, technically speaking. It wasn't advertised as such, but it is the first production about Ralph Parker to be released after A Christmas Story.

My blog readers may have seen my small tirade about the 2012 movie A Christmas Story 2 boasting to be the first official sequel. Despite Christmas being over, I still plan on reviewing that movie hopefully before February 2 - the official day when the Christmas season ends. 

The Star-Crossed Romance of Josephine Cosnowski aired on PBS's American Playhouse just as The Great American Fourth of July and Other Disasters. And like these movies, including A Christmas Story, it's narrated by Shepherd playing Ralph as an adult. 

The movie centers on Ralph's (played this time by Peter Kowanko) romantic fling with the girl next door, Josephine Cosnowski (Katherine Kamhi). 

Katherine Kamhi as Josephine Cosnowski

Directed by Fred Barzyk, who also directed Phantom of the Open Hearth, there's a bit more drama in this than previous productions. It still possesses the same humor and fondness of those small joyous ups and unavoidable downs we still look upon with a certain fondness and bittersweet sentimentality. 

These depictions are what makes Shepherd's stories distinct and relatable. 

This story in particular is based on Shepherd's collection of stories called Wanda Hickey's Night of Golden Memories and Other Disasters. 

The audience follows a teenage Ralph at Thanksgiving time - the holiday best known when, as Shepherd narrates, "down the tubes [go] countless diets."

Those hillbilly neighbors, the Bumpus's and their 785 smelly hound dogs (as referenced in A Christmas Story) finally move out of the house next door leaving behind trash in the yard and unpaid rent. The Cosnowskis, a Polish family from East Chicago, move in. Much to the pleasure of Ralph, they have a teenage daughter named Josephine. 

Sure, the smell of stuffed cabbage permeates into the Parker house from those Cosnowskis next door. But that doesn't matter for Ralph. Josephine lives so close! 

"Polish girls were the stuff of legend in our set," Shepherd narrates. "Exotic. Remote. The line of the alien and foreign is always strong. We used to take Flick's car and ride through the Polish neighborhood just to see the girls on summer nights." 

Ol' Ralph frequently makes it a point to walk past Josephine's house on his way home from band practice, hauling his Sousaphone like a marching soldier hoping she spots him from her bedroom window. 

He's completely enraptured by her charm, gentleness, simplicity, and beautiful features. And to his luck, Josephine is just as smitten with him. 

The two are constantly side by side. 

After dating for a while, Josephine asks him to join her family for a Thanksgiving party which happens to be on the same night as the highly anticipated Hohman Highschool basketball game at the Civic Center. 

Still, Ralph goes to the party held in the basement of the local Catholic Church. 

He's not only introduced to her mom and dad, and two brothers simply referred to as "Killer" and "Buzz" who play football for Notre Dame, he's also introduced to her uncles, aunts, cousins, family, friends, and the parish priest. It's clear to Ralph her family assumes his romance with Josephine is an absolute prelude to marriage. 

Earlier in the movie, Ralph, Flick, and Schwartz meet up with their buddy, Howie. Shepherd tells us Howie left a potentially promising future as he was Hohman High School's basketball MVP, to marry young and have a baby. Now, he's forced to work long weeks to make ends meet. 

At the party, while Ralph is plating a dish of kielbasa and stuffed cabbage for Josephine, Howie follows him to the food table and warns him to keep his freedom before it's too late.

"She introduced you to the priest! Don't you know how that means? Her relatives! That's how it happened to me. Run for it, man. Now!"

These movies have lines that are just as memorable and quotable as those from A Christmas Story.

Ralphie ditches his food, and makes a break for it. After all, he wanted a date! Not a wife.  

Killer and Buzz see him take off and know exactly what he's doing. They chase him down until Ralph makes it to the basketball game were he joins Flick and Schwartz in the stands to catch the last few minutes. 

"Boy, it was good to be a kid again," Shepherd says. 

Ralph has his first face-to-face encounter with adulthood. It's certainly not watered down. Encounters with adulthood never are. 

Adulthood grabs him by the collar as if it's giving him an ultimatum. If he wants to be with his girl for life, he's going to have to pay for it with a load of responsibility. Or, he can sacrifice it for a few more years of childhood freedom. "Well, kid... what's it gonna be?"

Meanwhile, for Ralph's Old Man, it's hunting season for a new car. 

As we learned from watching A Christmas Story, the old man "loved bargaining as much as an Arab trader, and he was twice as shrewd." 

He takes his business to "Friendly Fred's" auto dealership, a place he's patronized many times before. 

I have the impression Fred is a caricature of Groucho Marx - a poor man's Groucho. I found him too cartoonish for the movie. 

Of course, as the story takes place in the 1950s, this was the era of Groucho and his weekly quiz show, You Bet Your Life, sponsored by DeSoto Plymouth.

"Go down and visit your DeSoto Plymouth dealer today. And when ya do, tell 'em Groucho sent ya," he'd close his show with. 

The comedy in this production is slightly overtaken with drama, especially in the first half when compared to those previous movies I've mentioned. This time the best of the comedy is saved up for the second half. 

Shepherd's humor can be described by the phrase, "isn't it funny that..." 

The humor here is in teenage romance. For any teenager, current or former, romance is a serious time. But years down the road when we have the vantage of seeing it from the outside looking in without the optimism seen through jade-tinted specs, the humor stands out on its own. 

The Star-Crossed Romance of Josephine Cosnowski seems to struggle a bit for content to fill the time frame. But it does pay off by the last act. That's when I found myself laughing the most, and nodding my head as I muttered "Yep...so true" to myself.  

We can only imagine what happens to Ralph and Josephine after the final scene. That's left to our imagination.

(L to R) William Lampley as Flick, Jeff Yonis as Schwartz and
Peter Kowanko as Ralph

Also, the Old Man ends up trading in his Oldsmobile for a car that starts tossing the Parkers up and down like pebbles as they drive it home. 

The Old Man refuses to go back and get his Olds back. 

"You can't do that," he tells Mrs. Parker, who insists on returning their car, getting their trade-in and their money back.

But go back they do, and Mrs. Parker comes out of Friendly Fred's office with their money and the keys to the Oldsmobile. 

Also, Ralph's kid brother, Randy (Jay Ine), has to play a turkey in the school pageant about the first Thanksgiving. It's a role he's stuck with, much to his chagrin.  

But Mrs. Parker, along with the help of her Bridge playing friends, is able to make a costume for him. Despite his huge displeasure for being cast as the bird thanks to his teacher, Ms. Shields's alphabetically ordered casting decisions, his performance receives a standing ovation. It becomes his greatest accomplishment ever. 

Ine's performance is nothing to praise. Children can certainly be great actors, but Ine just seems like he was cast at the last minute. He couldn't even produce a convincing scene when Randy starts balling to his mother about his role in the school play. It's pretend time rather than acting.

This movie helps make the characters we've seen in previous productions more well-rounded. Even in Randy's case, we have more insight into their mannerisms and reactions to the world around them. 

Barbara Bolton returns from the previous American Playhouse productions from Shepherd, as well as Jay Ine. William Lampley returns as Flick, and Jeff Yonis as Schwartz. 

George Coe replaces James Broderick as the Old Man. 

Broderick sadly passed away in 1982 shortly after The Great American Fourth of July and Other Disasters. 

The Old Man is famously played by Darren McGavin in A Christmas Story - a portrayal which has been branded in my head so permanently that it's difficult for me to see anyone else in the role. 

While both Coe and Broderick are enjoyable as Ralph's Old Man, I'm rather bias as his dad is my favorite in A Christmas Story. 

McGavin plays him so naturally and fittingly. And watching the movie at least once a year for the past 35 or so years of course would leave such a bias. 

Still, I did enjoy Coe's performance which was just as gruff, stubborn and above all, genuine as audiences know the character to be thanks to McGavin. 

And speaking of further insight, Ralph as an ambitious teen in the realm of romance, skidding too close to adulthood only to cling to kid-dom for safety while its still there to be clung to is funny to watch. Who hasn't contemplated their teenage ways of gaining love, only to inwardly cower in embarrassment when they think about the things they did to at least acquire a crush's attention? It's well played here. 

We don't get much dialogue from young Ralph as Shepherd does it all through his narration. I don't know if it's intentional, but it makes young Ralph appear dopey. Of course, "dopey" fits well with a love struck teen, so it works. 

Regardless, it's another fun watch especially in the second half. Shepherd's humor and brilliance for story telling is what kept me interested along with relatable scenarios such as Ralph's walks past Josephine's hoping she'll see him. Why? Just to notice he exists! 

Sadly, we're not treated to any initial meeting. One moment, Ralph is in love. The next, they're a hot item. It's not necessarily crucial, but it may have been a great opportunity to see Ralph stumble over himself over the girl of his dreams. 

The movie keeps the Shepherd banter and cleverness throughout. And it's another movie that deserves more attention, especially among A Christmas Story fans.  

Despite Christmas day having come and gone, we are still in the Christmas season (a perk of being a Catholic). I still have A Christmas Story 2 to watch as well as Ollie Hopnoodle's Haven of Bliss. Those are on their way.