Director
Donald Petrie
Cast
Dana Carvey - Eddie Farrell
Todd Graff - Lou Pesquino
Julie Campbell - Dr. Annie Malkin
Robert Loggia - Milt Malkin
Doris Belack - Mona Malkin
James Tolkan - Sal Nichols
A week ago, one of my favorite YouTube channels, "Hack the Movies" posted a video critiquing the 2002 Dana Carvey film The Master of Disguise, called The Master of Disguise is Miserable.
During the review, the host Tony is asked by his co-host, Joe from the YouTube channel "Movie Dumpster" if he recalled any other previous movies with Dana Carvey in the starring role aside from Wayne's World (1992) and Wayne's World 2 (1993).
"Nothing!" is Tony's answer.
And that's where Carvey's 1990 movie Opportunity Knocks comes in. Does anyone remember this movie?
I had Opportunity Knocks in my line-up of reviews before Hack the Movies's video as I have a little history with this film.
In my post about Cloak & Dagger, I explain the use of the term "video rental chicken fat." Opportunity Knocks was the movie I wanted to start this whole "chicken fat" thread of reviews off with. But I started off with Cloak & Dagger because I hadn't seen that since I was a little critic.
Back in my sixth or seventh grade year of elementary school I found Opportunity Knocks sitting on the shelf of my local rental store.
Wayne's World was a movie I and all my elementary school pals loved. We quoted it a lot. We were familiar with it. Everyone was telling everyone else to "party on" or ending every quip with the exclamation, "Not!"
Donald Petrie
Cast
Dana Carvey - Eddie Farrell
Todd Graff - Lou Pesquino
Julie Campbell - Dr. Annie Malkin
Robert Loggia - Milt Malkin
Doris Belack - Mona Malkin
James Tolkan - Sal Nichols
A week ago, one of my favorite YouTube channels, "Hack the Movies" posted a video critiquing the 2002 Dana Carvey film The Master of Disguise, called The Master of Disguise is Miserable.
During the review, the host Tony is asked by his co-host, Joe from the YouTube channel "Movie Dumpster" if he recalled any other previous movies with Dana Carvey in the starring role aside from Wayne's World (1992) and Wayne's World 2 (1993).
"Nothing!" is Tony's answer.
And that's where Carvey's 1990 movie Opportunity Knocks comes in. Does anyone remember this movie?
I had Opportunity Knocks in my line-up of reviews before Hack the Movies's video as I have a little history with this film.
In my post about Cloak & Dagger, I explain the use of the term "video rental chicken fat." Opportunity Knocks was the movie I wanted to start this whole "chicken fat" thread of reviews off with. But I started off with Cloak & Dagger because I hadn't seen that since I was a little critic.
Back in my sixth or seventh grade year of elementary school I found Opportunity Knocks sitting on the shelf of my local rental store.
Wayne's World was a movie I and all my elementary school pals loved. We quoted it a lot. We were familiar with it. Everyone was telling everyone else to "party on" or ending every quip with the exclamation, "Not!"
So, I was familiar with Dana Carvey, aside from seeing him in his reoccurring roles on Saturday Night Live - The Church Lady, Pumping Up with Hanz and Franz, and his George H.W. Bush impression.
This was also the time when my 13+ year old self was shifting attention away from the G and PG rated movies, and looking to PG-13, and the R rated films when I could get away with it.
I recognized Dana Carvey from Wayne's World so this movie caught my eye. And it's rated PG-13.
I rented it several times, and bragged to my friends how much I loved it. I didn't love it because it's good. It's not good. I loved it because it had Carvey, and it wasn't rated G nor PG.
I clung to Opportunity Knocks as my proof of maturity in movie taste. I used it to prove I wasn't a kid. I used it to prove my interest in movies was turning adult (in a nice way, I mean), sophisticated, and cool. The movie completely centers on adults doing adulty things like stealing, lying, spending money, getting involved in romances based completely on lies. This was all certainly key to maturing in my taste in films! My poor 13-year old self...how naïve you were.
In this movie, Carvey plays a con artist named Eddie Farrell who, along with his partner Lou Pesquino (Todd Graff), pull off quick con jobs. They attempt a con in which they visit a random home pretending to be repairmen checking on a neighborhood gas leak.
As this con job ends up failing, they decide to burglarize another house. They can tell no ones home because of all the newspapers in the driveway, and all the lights are turned off.
It's clear the house they break into is owned by someone very wealthy based on the amount of high priced items inside.
During the robbery, the phone rings and the caller leaves a message on the answering machine. As they listen, they learn the homeowner is overseas and won't return for a month. The caller also indicates he won't be able to house sit afterall.
Eddie and Lou take advantage of this opportunity to take over the house, and crash there for the night.
The two are also on the run from local gangster Sal Nichols (James Tolkan - Back to the Future) whom they owe a lot of money to. Hence, the con jobs.
The next day, they get separated after stealing a car belonging to one of Nichols's henchmen, or so they think.
This was also the time when my 13+ year old self was shifting attention away from the G and PG rated movies, and looking to PG-13, and the R rated films when I could get away with it.
I recognized Dana Carvey from Wayne's World so this movie caught my eye. And it's rated PG-13.
I rented it several times, and bragged to my friends how much I loved it. I didn't love it because it's good. It's not good. I loved it because it had Carvey, and it wasn't rated G nor PG.
I clung to Opportunity Knocks as my proof of maturity in movie taste. I used it to prove I wasn't a kid. I used it to prove my interest in movies was turning adult (in a nice way, I mean), sophisticated, and cool. The movie completely centers on adults doing adulty things like stealing, lying, spending money, getting involved in romances based completely on lies. This was all certainly key to maturing in my taste in films! My poor 13-year old self...how naïve you were.
In this movie, Carvey plays a con artist named Eddie Farrell who, along with his partner Lou Pesquino (Todd Graff), pull off quick con jobs. They attempt a con in which they visit a random home pretending to be repairmen checking on a neighborhood gas leak.
As this con job ends up failing, they decide to burglarize another house. They can tell no ones home because of all the newspapers in the driveway, and all the lights are turned off.
It's clear the house they break into is owned by someone very wealthy based on the amount of high priced items inside.
During the robbery, the phone rings and the caller leaves a message on the answering machine. As they listen, they learn the homeowner is overseas and won't return for a month. The caller also indicates he won't be able to house sit afterall.
Eddie and Lou take advantage of this opportunity to take over the house, and crash there for the night.
The two are also on the run from local gangster Sal Nichols (James Tolkan - Back to the Future) whom they owe a lot of money to. Hence, the con jobs.
The next day, they get separated after stealing a car belonging to one of Nichols's henchmen, or so they think.
 |
| Robert Loggia and Dana Carvey in Opportunity Knocks |
While cruising around in the stolen car, Nichols calls on the car phone. Farrell answers the phone to joke around with the owner, only to realize it's his car. So, they ditch the vehicle on the side of the road where it's stripped by vandals.
Farrell hides in the empty house and tries to locate Lou to tell him he's at the "stereo house."
The next morning, Farrell walks out of the shower to find a lady named Mona in the living room. They both scream in alarm. Farrell, because he just got caught. And Mona, because Farrell is wearing nothing but a towel.
Shocked, he tries to talk his way out of being in a house that's not his. But Mona, who's Eddie the homeowner's mother, thinks he's her son's house sitter and best friend, Jonathan Albertson. Apparently, she's never met nor seen Jonathan before.
Not missing a beat, he goes along with it and pretends to be Jonathan.
Mona's husband, Milt (Robert Loggia) runs in from outside as he heard their screams.
Milt is a wealthy business man who operates a successful bathroom fixture company.
They take a quick liking to Farrell especially after hearing so much about him from their son. They invite him to lunch at their country club, and introduce them to their daughter, Annie (Julia Campbell) who works as a doctor.
She's gorgeous. And Farrell, playing the role of Jonathan, is interested in her but needs to work a bit to win her affection.
Farrell hides in the empty house and tries to locate Lou to tell him he's at the "stereo house."
The next morning, Farrell walks out of the shower to find a lady named Mona in the living room. They both scream in alarm. Farrell, because he just got caught. And Mona, because Farrell is wearing nothing but a towel.
Shocked, he tries to talk his way out of being in a house that's not his. But Mona, who's Eddie the homeowner's mother, thinks he's her son's house sitter and best friend, Jonathan Albertson. Apparently, she's never met nor seen Jonathan before.
Not missing a beat, he goes along with it and pretends to be Jonathan.
Mona's husband, Milt (Robert Loggia) runs in from outside as he heard their screams.
Milt is a wealthy business man who operates a successful bathroom fixture company.
They take a quick liking to Farrell especially after hearing so much about him from their son. They invite him to lunch at their country club, and introduce them to their daughter, Annie (Julia Campbell) who works as a doctor.
She's gorgeous. And Farrell, playing the role of Jonathan, is interested in her but needs to work a bit to win her affection.
Later, Milt even offers him a job on his company board, which he reluctantly takes.
While working for Milt, and being impressively successful at what he does despite not having a clue as to what he's supposed to do, Milt shows him his most priced possession - an autographed baseball which he keeps in an office safe behind a hefty stack of cash.
Farrell's Uncle Max (Milo O' Shea) and Aunt Connie (Sally Gracie) encourage him not to let his feelings for Annie get in the way of what he does best - con jobs.
They tell him to use Annie as a way to Milt's money so they can pay off Sal. Farrell is torn. His conscience, perhaps for the first time in years, starts to bother him as he agrees to use her, get Milt's money, and leave them behind.
Opportunity Knocks fails at being the romantic comedy it's supposed to be.
While working for Milt, and being impressively successful at what he does despite not having a clue as to what he's supposed to do, Milt shows him his most priced possession - an autographed baseball which he keeps in an office safe behind a hefty stack of cash.
Farrell's Uncle Max (Milo O' Shea) and Aunt Connie (Sally Gracie) encourage him not to let his feelings for Annie get in the way of what he does best - con jobs.
They tell him to use Annie as a way to Milt's money so they can pay off Sal. Farrell is torn. His conscience, perhaps for the first time in years, starts to bother him as he agrees to use her, get Milt's money, and leave them behind.
Opportunity Knocks fails at being the romantic comedy it's supposed to be.
Watching Carvey's character try to win over the love of an intelligent medical professional is like watching a 12-year old trying to win the affection of an intelligent medical professional. I've seen Hallmark do a better job at telling a romantic comedy several of their Christmas movies that use the same formula over and over again.
The story is peppered with forced opportunities for Carvey to do his comedic impersonations such as his Indian accent, and Asian accent which I'm sure many will find offensive. The movie also throws in his famous impersonation of George H.W. Bush made popular on Saturday Night Live. Again, it's forced.
The story is peppered with forced opportunities for Carvey to do his comedic impersonations such as his Indian accent, and Asian accent which I'm sure many will find offensive. The movie also throws in his famous impersonation of George H.W. Bush made popular on Saturday Night Live. Again, it's forced.
Evidently, making juvenile jokes and singing 'Born to be Wild' in front of a group of drunk club-goers is all it took for fake Jonathan to win Annie over. Nothing deep or sincere is needed. It makes the intelligent doctor, Annie, seem void of any true depth of character. In other words, it took poor writing to get them together.
At this time, I also started getting into cop movies like K-9 with Jim Belushi, Turner & Hooch, The Hard Way with Michael J. Fox and James Woods. That one is rated R! Yeah... I wasn't messin' around. I also started watching NYPD Blue on T.V. in the mid 90s. It definitely was a phase.
At some point, I moved on. But Opportunity Knocks is a movie that's been stuck in my mind all this time.
The ending (spoiler) is a complete joke, but not the kind the producers intended.
This is a movie I don't care if I spoil or not. The entire relationship between Farrell and Annie is based entirely on a lie conjured up by Farrell.
In the end, when he admits to everyone who he really is and what he does for a living, they're naturally crestfallen and heartbroken. They can't believe how far he duped them, especially after they took to him naturally and made him a part of the most important aspects of their lives.
With true feelings for Annie, Farrell goes to see her at the hospital where she works. She asks him politely, but angrily, to leave. He tells her if she says she doesn't love him, he'll leave. So, she tells him precisely that.
He leaves as he said he would - the only time in the movie where he's actually honest.
At this time, I also started getting into cop movies like K-9 with Jim Belushi, Turner & Hooch, The Hard Way with Michael J. Fox and James Woods. That one is rated R! Yeah... I wasn't messin' around. I also started watching NYPD Blue on T.V. in the mid 90s. It definitely was a phase.
At some point, I moved on. But Opportunity Knocks is a movie that's been stuck in my mind all this time.
The ending (spoiler) is a complete joke, but not the kind the producers intended.
This is a movie I don't care if I spoil or not. The entire relationship between Farrell and Annie is based entirely on a lie conjured up by Farrell.
In the end, when he admits to everyone who he really is and what he does for a living, they're naturally crestfallen and heartbroken. They can't believe how far he duped them, especially after they took to him naturally and made him a part of the most important aspects of their lives.
With true feelings for Annie, Farrell goes to see her at the hospital where she works. She asks him politely, but angrily, to leave. He tells her if she says she doesn't love him, he'll leave. So, she tells him precisely that.
But she has second thoughts running through her mind.
Annie runs out of the hospital to look for him.
Annie runs out of the hospital to look for him.
Farrell is crossing the street when she yells "how dare you!"
He starts going into an explanation when he gets hit by a car in the middle of the street.
Panicked, Annie runs to him and starts asking if he's o.k. She then says she loves him when he doesn't respond.
Farrell replies, "that's all I wanted to hear." Then they kiss.
He starts going into an explanation when he gets hit by a car in the middle of the street.
Panicked, Annie runs to him and starts asking if he's o.k. She then says she loves him when he doesn't respond.
Farrell replies, "that's all I wanted to hear." Then they kiss.
The camera pans up to reveal Lou and Uncle Max behind the wheel of the car that hit him - a con tactic we see at the beginning of the movie.
I explain the ending because I mentioned bad writing earlier. This is bad writing. I can't emphasize that enough.
All Annie knows about Farrell is that his real name is Eddie, not Jonathan, and that he cons people for a living. Even while they went on dates and she willingly endured his little juvenile jokes to impress her, she knows nothing about him. All he did to her was lie. But she still loves him? Does she think they'll have a meaningful relationship from this point forward? How does she know he's not lying to her when he says he loves her? He just admitted to using her to get to her dad's money. Farrell lied all the way to his getting hit by a car. Even that was a lie. It has all the appearances of a happy ending, but is it really?
I explain the ending because I mentioned bad writing earlier. This is bad writing. I can't emphasize that enough.
All Annie knows about Farrell is that his real name is Eddie, not Jonathan, and that he cons people for a living. Even while they went on dates and she willingly endured his little juvenile jokes to impress her, she knows nothing about him. All he did to her was lie. But she still loves him? Does she think they'll have a meaningful relationship from this point forward? How does she know he's not lying to her when he says he loves her? He just admitted to using her to get to her dad's money. Farrell lied all the way to his getting hit by a car. Even that was a lie. It has all the appearances of a happy ending, but is it really?
The story in itself isn't a bad idea. It's just not thought through very well.
Opportunity Knocks is so saturated in immature romantic sap story telling, it can't even come to a logical conclusion.
Opportunity Knocks is so saturated in immature romantic sap story telling, it can't even come to a logical conclusion.
Carvey even resorted to using his Saturday Night Live character, "the Church Lady" in the trailer to entice audiences to watch Opportunity Knocks. She has nothing to do with this movie whatsoever.
Carvey's humor in general is really hit or miss with me. He's funny and entertaining in the Wayne's World movies. He's funny in his Saturday Night Live skits which is the perfect platform for his impersonations and style of humor. The only part of his 2016 Netflix Comedy Special Straight White Male I found funny was the last routine - John Lennon talking to Paul McCartney from heaven about Paul's duet with Kanye West. This leads to Paul telling John about Facebook and smartphones. That got laughs from me. Carvey's impersonations are spot on.
His comedy in Opportunity Knocks is funny once or twice. Most of it is forced because of what audiences at the time were accustomed to seeing when it came to Carvey's wit. Impersonations.
As for the rest of the movie, it's just a throwaway romantic story with little to no effort behind it.
Director Donald Petrie has some notable titles under his belt such as Grumpy Old Men (1993) and Mystic Pizza (1988). I even enjoy his 2000 movie Miss Congeniality with Sandra Bullock. I guess they can't all be winners.
Opportunity Knocks isn't worth remembering, so I don't blame "Hack the Movies" not recalling it in their video. I didn't realize this back when I was a young teenager looking to PG-13 movies prove somehow prove I was maturing. Better late than never, I guess.
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