Director
Brian Levant
Cast
Braeden Lemasters - Ralphie Parker
Daniel Stern - Mr. Parker
Stacey Travis - Mrs. Parker
Valin Shinyei - Randy Parker
David Buehrle - Schwartz
David W. Thompson - Flick
Tiera Skovbye - Drucilla Gootrad
Last year, I reviewed as many films based on the works of writer and humorist, Jean Shepherd as I could find.
Shepherd books In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash and Wanda Hickey's Night of Golden Memories, and Other Disasters are the basis for the classic holiday movie A Christmas Story. For those three or four people out there who've never seen this movie, it's about a kid, Ralphie Parker, and his quest to obtain a Red Ryder BB gun for Christmas.
As I previously pointed out on this blog, A Christmas Story isn't the first nor the last movie about Ralphie. I've reviewed those other movies on this blog, the last one being the 1988 movie Ollie Hopnoodle's Haven of Bliss.
After that, I mentioned I would check out the worst example of a cash grab I had ever heard of - A Christmas Story 2. But I ran out of time during the Christmas season. So, I put it off until this year, Now, the time I never thought would come has indeed arrived.
Released straight to DVD in 2012, when I heard this movie was now a part of reality, I immediately decided to never watch it. Of course, I was lying to myself. Deep down, I knew I would someday.
I had only seen it packaged along with the first movie. How else would producers get the public to buy it?
In this sequel, things haven't changed too much during the six years that have passed since the events of the first movie. Ralphie Parker (Braeden Lemasters), who's 15-years old now, still hangs around with his pals, Flick (David W. Thompson) and Schwartz (David Buehrle). His old man (Daniel Stern) still battles it out with the furnace. Mrs. Parker (Stacey Travis) still maintains the Parker homestead. And Ralph's kid brother Randy (Valin Shinyei) somehow looks the same age as he did six years ago while his older brother has obviously aged.
Ralphie has quite a crush on Drucilla Gootrad (Tiera Skovbye) who's dating the captain of the football team at his high school, or something stupid like that. I don't know. I forgot.
All of Ralphie's fantasies this time seem to surround her. But don't worry. Those fantasies don't venture into closed rooms. Ralphie hasn't matured that much!
That BB gun he got for Christmas years ago is now an afterthought. This year his heart is set on something new for Christmas - a 1939 Mercury Eight Convertible. As he, Schwartz, and Flick pass by Hohman, Indiana's used car dealership one afternoon, Ralphie pauses to soak in the sight of this desired Mercury displayed in all its dark green and polished chrome glory, he decides to help himself inside the car to see how it feels.
He begins to fantasize (Ralphie does this a lot in this flick) that he's cruising along with his love interest, Drucilla, nestled up close to him.
While he's alone in the car with his Drucilla fantasies, Ralphie accidentally releases the break causing the vehicle to roll off its display and out into the street. He gets his pant leg caught on the break release, and rather than remove it, he takes his pants off.
The bumper barely taps a light post. Yet, somehow, this is enough to cause a plastic reindeer decoration to fall from the light and through the convertible top. He crawls out of the back seat not wearing any pants, and none of it is funny.
He swears to the car dealer that he'll pay the $83 to have the top repaired.
Ralphie tries going to his old man for help, which doesn't get him anywhere.
So, he convinces Flick and Schwartz to help him come up with the money by getting a job with him at Higbee's Department Store - the same store from part one.
After screwing up in department after department at Higbee's, the three of them are finally placed in the store's Santa Claus area.
Here, they end up getting into a fight with the gruff, and problematic store Santa. And this costs them their jobs. I'll add the Santa in the original was overworked and tired, but not a complete jerk.
Alone, Ralphie goes back to the store manager for one last chance. The manager rehires him and puts Ralphie outside the store dressed as a reindeer (because the first movie had him in a bunny suit. I suppose they can't repeat everything from part one) to help attract customers.
Soon after weeks of working, Ralphie comes up $1 short of the car's repair costs.
So, he robs Schwartz of his "lucky buck" and then goes to pay off the damages. But the story doesn't end there. It goes on after he spends the $83 to take a homeless family out for a meal at the same Chinese restaurant where the Parkers had their Christmas dinner in part one.
The 1983 movie A Christmas Story used to be this quaint comedy that many people simply enjoyed around the holidays. That's all it was for me having made it a point to watch it every Christmas season for the last 35 years. Now, with the amount of A Christmas Story commercialism and retail the public is beaten over the head with year after year, the varnish that is the movie's charm has been wiped off.
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| Tiera Skovbye as Drucilla, and Braeden Lemasters as Ralphie Parker in A Christmas Story 2. |
No wonder so many people hate it. The other day I saw an A Christmas Story-themed Advent calendar at the grocery store. What have we done to this classic movie? Before watching it, I was sure that A Christmas Story 2 would merely be another piece of schlocky merch with the movie's title greedily slapped on it. After watching it, I don't necessarily think that I'm too far off on that initial assumption.
Anyone who has read my previous posts on those other Jean Shepherd movies knows my main gripe about A Christmas Story 2 is its claim to be the "official sequel" to A Christmas Story. Again, it's not.
A film aired on PBS back in 1985 called The Star-Crossed Romance of Josephine Cosnowski. Technically, this is the first movie to be released after A Christmas Story that's based on Shepherd's stories about Ralphie Parker.
After Ollie Hopnoodle's Haven of Bliss, the movie My Summer Story was released theatrically in 1994. It, too, pulls from the works of Shepherd. It's directed by Bob Clark who directed A Christmas Story. It's narrated by Shepherd yet again. And My Summer Story feels like a tried-and-true sequel. It's not as strong as the first, but I still found it entertaining. Above all, it tries to be its own story and make its own comedy.
A Christmas Story 2 only pulls from the first movie and takes nothing directly from Shepherd's works. Even the narration is an impersonation of Shepherd.
Were the original honestly depicts an era in American history often viewed with rose colored glasses, this sequel imitates the slapstick comedy, novelty, sight gags, and jokes from part one.
The entire sequel puts all its effort into being the first movie while thinking it's something different because it's a new Christmas story. There's a gag with Flick sticking his tongue to an air tube only because he accepted the "coup de gras" of all dares and stuck his tongue to a frozen flagpole in the first film. There's a scene with Ralph slowing saying "oooh, fudge" as he watches the plastic reindeer fall from the lamp post into the car. There's the old man yelling even more profane gibberish at this furnace. There's fantasy upon fantasy from Ralph. There's another leg lamp. If I want the humor and stuff from part one, I'll watch part one.
Daniel Stern, who's not a bad actor, is the worst portrayal of Ralph's dad.
With Darren McGavin's role as "the old man" in the original, he makes this character relatable. He's an embodiment of everyone's dad. He's an all-American father. He loves a good bargain. The weight of all things is upon his shoulders whether it's his Oldsmobile freezing up, or a clinker in the furnace. He may be gruff, throw out some choice words in heated moments, but he's dad. Above all, his performance isn't exaggerated. McGavin plays it all very naturally.
With Stern's portrayal, there's no other way to say it. He makes him a cartoonish asshole. McGavin's old man was likeable. This guy - not even close.
He's ridiculously over-the-top, talks out of the side of his mouth like he's caricature of an inner-city taxi driver, and turns the old man into more of a sitcom character than an actual dad. He's nothing but an exaggeration.
Being a father can be a thankless job. When Mr. Parker wins his "major award" in part one, it's recognition. To the family, it's a leg lamp that's as gaudy as can be. To the old man, it's a symbol of appreciation. That's something he rarely sees. It's no wonder he lights up when he wins it (no pun intended).
In the first film, the only time the Old Man shows anger to his wife is when she "accidently" knocks his lamp over while watering her plants. When he finds her holding his shattered lamp, he can barely contain his anger.
"You were always jealous of this lamp," he blurts, scowling in dismay.
When her true feelings of disgust come out, he has nothing left to say but "get the glue."
"We're out of glue," she says.
He glares at his wife.
"You use up all the glue...on purpose!"
In part two, one scene shows the old man yelling at his wife in a grocery store because she orders a Christmas turkey that's 40 cents a pound. In the first movie, he loves turkey so much that he's called a "turkey junkie." I guess he drops his habit when it costs 40 cents a pound.
But rather than pay it so his family can have a nice meal on Christmas, he refuses and then attempts to go ice fishing to catch Christmas dinner - unsuccessfully. Mrs. Parker ends up buying a fish from the market for Christmas and tells the family their dad caught it. Nothing learned.
In another scene he yells at his wife and accuses her of jinxing his fishing as she takes over the pole for a few moments and catches a large fish. When they try to pull the fish up through the small hole in the ice, and then snag it with a net, they lose it. The old man explodes in anger as she tries to help. Again, I don't know what else to call him. What an asshole!
One scene that caught my attention has Ralph meeting his dad out on the frozen lake to open up about the car, but his dad takes over the conversation.
I thought we'd get to see a genuine father and son moment - something that doesn't really happen in the first.
But this scene doesn't go there, and it becomes a missed opportunity to explore Ralphie's relationship with his dad. This is odd as the majority of the narration, which is Ralph as an adult, begins with "The old man."
This scene caught my attention since it was his dad who gave Ralphie the Red Ryder BB gun in the first movie. His dad was the only character Ralphie didn't ask. And his dad never told him "You'll shoot your eye out." I would have loved to see this relationship explored more.
I'll give the movie credit in its storyline. Having watched the previous movies based on the works of Shepherd, tales of Ralphie Parker with the backdrop of good ol' Americana that is fictional Hohman, Indiana, are what make his stories unique. A Christmas Story 2 isn't much different as far as that goes.
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| Daniel Stern as Mr. Parker. |
It manages to have that feel. It's faint, but it's there.
Lemasters clearly puts in great effort and energy into his role. He's not bad at all as an older Ralph. His Ralph is certainly more animated than before.
Before A Christmas Story, Shepherd was an established radio personality, having been on air for decades. He was and still is enticing and fun to listen to. His likeable chummy personality and honest humor is reflected beautifully in the classic Christmas film. And his narration in A Christmas Story is a big aspect of the movie's charm and popularity.
The narrator, Nat Mauldin, the film's writer, impersonates Jean Shepherd's voice in part two. It is what it is.
I didn't realize until the end of the movie that I actually tuned out the narration. It wasn't a conscientious decision. I just tuned it out without thinking about it. Every little thing that happens is not only shown, but also explained. The narration is painfully overdone. And the majority of it is completely unnecessary. Most of the time, the narration is only telling us exactly what we're already seeing. So, why is it there? My guess is to continue reminding the audience how funny part one is.
A narrator's purpose in a movie is to assist in the storytelling. It adds context to what the audience is watching. One of the oldest rules in writing is "show, don't tell." This movie shows and tells...and tells some more.
When Shepherd narrates the original, it gives a little more depth to Ralphie. It helps move the story along and adds an element of interest and fascination for the audience. It works. And above all, it's limited. As Shepherd was popular as a storyteller on radio, it makes sense to bring is personality and voice to the big screen.
In part two, the narrator verbalizes everything and in nearly every scene. Again, it's all because of the first movie, but saturated in the attempt to give the audience an intensified part one like extra, extra cream and sugar in an already perfect cup of coffee.
The same can be said for all the fantasy sequences in the film.
Each one practically leads to his love for Drucilla. None of these fantasy sequences are funny. Not one! Ralphie may have grown since the events of the first movie. But he certainly hasn't matured much if I'm to take anything away from all his fantasies in part two.
Honestly, the most interesting part of the movie is the damn car Ralph drools over. When the interior and exterior of the car are shown to the audience, and the narrator shares Ralphie's thoughts, my thinking "that's a classic" was the best reaction I gave to the movie.
I honestly think if the writers really made this second Christmas story its own thing, even though it's not based on any specific stories from Jean Shepherd, it might have been a relatively enjoyable sequel to watch despite being a clear cash grab. It would go along with the spirit of Shepherd. But it makes itself rely so heavily on part one.
I didn't watch A Christmas Story 2 just to be fair before publicly bashing it. I wanted to approach it honestly despite my previous assumptions.
This movie takes all the subtle, relatable humor from the first one and beats the audience over the head with it just like all the other commercialization of A Christmas Story that has since wiped the gleam and shimmer off the once modest Christmas comedy.
So, I think this wraps up my watching all the Jean Shepherd movies I could find. I'm going to give 2017's musical A Christmas Story Live! starring Matthew Broderick a huge pass. And this time, I mean it.
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