Parenthood (1989)

"It's my dream. Strong, happy, confident kids."

Director

Ron Howard

Cast

Steve Martin - Gil Buckman

Mary Steenburgen - Karen Buckman

Jason Robards - Frank Buckman 

Diane West - Helen Buckman

Martha Plimpton - Julie Buckman-Higgins

Joaquin Phoenix - Garry Buckman-Lampkin

Keanu Reeves - Tod Higgins

Rick Moranis - Nathan Huffner

Harley Jane Kozak - Susan Huffner

Tom Hulce - Larry Buckman

Jasen Fisher - Kevin Buckman


It's been about 30 years since I've seen the 1989 comedy "Parenthood" directed by Ron Howard. My family and I were visiting some friends in Southern California at the time. For a movie night, the grownups that be put this on. 

I wasn't even a teenager at the time, so my interest in watching "Parenthood" was non-existent. All I remembered from the movie was the ending. 

My wife and I decided to watch it the other night as we saw it was streaming on Netflix. As it was her time seeing it, I can honestly say it was my first time, too. 

It's a movie that has made quite an impact on pop culture. And there has been a lot said about it. 

It led to a short-lived television series in 1990 along with another, more successful, television series adaptation from 2010 to 2015.

The film surrounds the Buckman family, starting with Gil Buckman (Steve Martin) who is struggling in his attempts to balance family life and work life. Gil works as a sales executive in St. Louis. 

He and his wife, Karen (Mary Steenburgen) find out their oldest son, Kevin (Jasen Fisher), is having emotional issues at school. The school's counselor advises them to seek a therapist for Kevin. 

Distraught at this news, Gil starts questioning his capabilities as a father. He tries hard to understand what his son is going through and help him accordingly.

Karen later learns that they're going to have their fourth child.  

With financial troubles, and career issues, Gil is deeply concerned as to whether they can handle another child or not. 

Gil confides in his father, Frank (Jason Robards) if he's even capable of being a dad despite that he's already raising three children. Frank simply tells him that he worries too much, but that worry for one's kids doesn't end after childhood. It carries on into adulthood. 

Meanwhile, Gil's older sister, Helen (Dianne West), is a single mom as her dentist husband left her and their kids - Julie (Martha Plimpton), who's still in high school, and her youngest, Garry (Joaquin Phoenix). 

Julie is involved with a doofus boyfriend, Tod Higgins (Keanu Reeves) who doesn't embrace responsibility very well. Helen only wishes Tod would disappear from Julie's life as she, too, is rather troubled and takes no interest in her high school education. This leads to a lot of mother/ daughter quarreling. Helen finds out that Julie and Tod married behind her back, and that Julie is pregnant. She and Tod end up living at Helen's house.

Garry, meanwhile, is cold towards his mom. He finally opens up to her that he wants to live with his father. While Helen doesn't think it's a good idea, she still lets him try. 

He calls his dad to ask if he can live with him, but his dad doesn't allow it, which breaks Garry. In retaliation, he trashes his father's dental office and is later caught with pornographic video tapes. 

Helen quickly notices a turnaround for the better in her son after Tod becomes a positive male influence in his life as Garry can confide in. And Tod also starts to take on responsibility, especially as he's about to become a father at a young age. 

Jasen Fisher and Steve Martin in "Parenthood" (1989).

Elsewhere in this family, Gil's younger brother, Larry (Tom Hulce), is both a pariah in the family, as well as Frank's favorite son. 

Larry refuses to enter a career. Instead, he falls for various easy money schemes. 

As the Buckman's hold a family get-together at the beginning of the film, Larry shows up with a young bi-racial son named "Cool" (Alex Burrall). It turns out this child is the product of a short-lived love affair Larry had with a Las Vegas showgirl. This showgirl left Cool with Larry as he claims she shot someone and fled the country.

And in typical deadbeat fashion, Larry asks his dad for money. 

What Larry doesn't tell his dad, until it's too late, is that he owes gambling debts in the amount of $26,000. If he doesn't pay up, Larry says "they" are going to kill him. 

Frank is truly disappointed, especially after Larry secretly tries to sell his dad's prized vintage car. 

Sorely disappointed, Frank still decides to help him by tapping into his retirement funds which he'll now have to delay. 

However, he gives Larry an ultimatum. He'll only help him if Larry learns the family business so he can later take it over.

While Larry initially agrees, he suggests another idea that involves a quick money scheme down in Chile. 

Despite his better judgement, Frank agrees to it, as well as looking after Cool even though he knows Larry won't be returning.

Gil's younger sister, Susan (Harley Jane Kozak) who works as a middle school teacher, is married to researcher scientist Nathan Huffner (Rick Moranis). They have one child together, Patty (Ivyann Schwann) whom Nathan has pushed to be the advanced child that she is. 

Susan wants more children, but Nathan is more interested in Patty's continuous advanced learning. 

In retaliation, Susan starts eating more junk food and sabotages her diaphragm in the hopes of getting pregnant. 

But Nathan doesn't want to have another child. He's persistent about it. So, Susan leaves him. Crestfallen Nathan later walks in on one of her classes and serenade her hoping she'll come back. And she does. 

Frank's own mother, "Grandma" (Helen Shaw) plays the wise sage who really observes and says very little. And when she does say something, it's simple wisdom for her family to take what they can from it. The family, though, takes her as "grandma" who's just old. 

In one scene when Gil is complaining about how his life is too complicated, grandma randomly says, 

"You know, when I was nineteen, Grandpa took me on a roller coaster."

Gil thinks she's just lost in her old mind.
"Up, down, up, down. Oh, what a ride," she says.

"Great story," Gil says sarcastically.
"I always wanted to go again. You know, it was just so interesting to me that a ride could make me so frightened, so scared, so sick, so excited, and so thrilled all together! Some didn't like it. They went on the merry-go-round. That just goes around. Nothing. I like the roller coaster. You get more out of it."
Frank's relationship with his mother can be summed up in one line. When the family gets together in the first act, and grandma arrives, Frank snidely comments "Yeah, she's still alive." 

It's not any revelation to say "Parenthood" is a relatable film. It cleverly covers the job of being a parent from childhood through the teenage years and into adulthood. Afterall, a parent is a parent forever, tied in with Frank's statement that the worry of a parent over their children never goes away. 

There are good things I like about this movie. And there are things I don't like. That pretty much sums up my thoughts.

Thankfully, children aren't portrayed as completely chaotic. A house with children doesn't need to be chaotic during all waking hours, and into the night. In films, that's such a tired cliche.

I can certainly get behind the good decisions made by some of the characters despite the terrible ones that precede them. 

I appreciate the portrayal of Tod embracing the responsibility of fatherhood though the circumstances leading up to that were less than admirable. Things happen. We all make dumb decisions, some more stupid than others. What's important is how we handle the aftermath of our poor choices.

On top of that, the need for a strong male role model as seen in Garry's troubled youth is also, generally speaking, sensible and true despite that both he and Tod still have maturing to do. They have to start somewhere.

Jason Robards and Tom Hulce.

And above all, I truly appreciate the depiction of children still being a welcomed part of life despite the difficulties and stresses in day-to-day life they may bring about. 

Karen mentions the reprehensible notion of aborting their fourth child since their life is difficult at the moment. 

Thankfully, they both agree not to abort their unborn child simply because they're facing the same kind of difficulties millions of other people have to deal with each day. Difficulties come and go. Solutions are accessible. No innocent unborn person needs to die because life is hard sometimes. Both agree they'll be happier having another child. 

One thing I couldn't wrap my head around was Frank's decision to let Larry go and leave his son behind so easily. He doesn't put up any protest at his son, whom he deems his favorite, to make such a terrible decision. Sure, Larry is an adult and can make his own decisions whether good or bad. And Larry can't force him to stay. After he reluctantly agrees that Larry go to Chile, his grandson Cool, who looks to be about five or six years old, approaches Frank and asks, "Is he ever coming back?"

"No," Frank says.

Cool looks dejected and sad at this answer. 

"Would you like to live here, with us?" 

"Yeah," Cool responds.

"Good." 

Aside from the comedy, and the stellar cast, the story's relatability is certainly one this movie's strongest elements. 

That relatability can only sprout from honesty and truth. And the way each story within the Buckman family is balanced is impressive. Each is treated in its own time. Nothing seems overdone. 

We're given enough time with each member which allows the audience to grow invested in their troubles, thoughts, personal victories, and bad decisions. 

No matter how maddening or difficult children can be, they're value and influence on their parents, who grow alongside their children (intellectually) even amidst the good times and the bad decisions. 

The positive memories stay with parents. 

Worry for children never ends. Still, we as parents want them in our lives more than anything else. Almost every type of parent is within the Buckman family, represented through four generations. There's the self-questioning parent. The no good, lousy, greedy parent. The single parent struggling to keep it all together. The over-achieving parents. The doting parent. And the parent who has lived their life and are approaching the end. 

All the details are keenly observed while not overplayed. Each story throughout the family is well crafted and tied together truly organically. The resolutions are the important parts. Nothing is far-fetched or over dramatized.  

Kids are hard to raise. They consume their parents time and energy. Sometimes, they're the most frustrating people to deal with. Regardless, they're the reason good parents exist. To think of life without these people is a painful thought. They help parents grow in selflessness. No one can make a someone a better person like a child can. No one! 

Everything and everyone blend in well, no matter the flaws - especially because of the flaws. The comedy is genuine, and the storyline is truly sensible and accurate.