Something Wicked This Way Comes (1983) - Disney Under the Rug

 "Your torments call us like dogs in the night. And we do feed, and feed well."

Director

Jack Clayton

Cast
Jason Robards - Charles Halloway
Jonathan Pryce - Mr. Dark
Diane Ladd - Mrs. Nightshade
Royal Dano - Tom Fury
Vidal Peterson - Will Halloway
Shawn Carson - Jim Nightshade
Mary Grace Canfield - Miss Foley

I debated with myself if I should include Disney's 1983 movie, "Something Wicked This Way Comes" on my other blog, 1000daysofhorror.blogspot.com, or not. I obviously decided to include it here as it's really more of a dark fantasy movie than a horror. But, then again, it has some scenes clearly intended to scare the audience. Also, I hope to watch a review a string of Disney movies alongside this one from the 1980s that are dark, not-too-mainstream, and a bit unusual. They're movies I like to think Disney keeps swept under the rug - probably the rug they keep inside their "Disney vault."

The 1980s weren't the brightest time for the Disney Company. In fact, 1981 to 1988 were the dark ages for Disney. The company fell into quite a slump in that decade, producing flop after flop. That is until "The Little Mermaid" (1989) pulled Disney out of the quagmire of underwhelming productions.

Some of their movies from the decade somehow managed to withstand the test of time and collected pockets of cult followers who have since elevated these once poorly received movies into experiences worth appreciation. "Return to Oz" (1985) certainly comes to mind as far as that goes. It's a movie I remember enjoying in my youth. And I plan to review it at some point. 

But like this dark era for Disney, a number of these movies have quite a dark and sinister tone to them uncharacteristic of Disney at the time. They're dark in either their story or depictions, such as "Watcher in the Woods," "The Devil and Max Devlin," "The Black Cauldron," and even "Return to Oz." 

There's also "The Kids Who Knew Too Much" (1980) which centers around a political assassination plot. 

The 1980s also saw Disney release movies that were more adult oriented. A lot of these adult oriented movies were released under their distribution company, Buena Vista Pictures Distribution.

"Night Crossing" (1982) is a true story thriller about two families that tried to escape East German in a hot air balloon back in 1979. 

Disney's "Tex" (1982) is about two teenagers who struggle to make it on their own after their mother dies and their father leaves them in Oklahoma. 

"Tex" shows Disney's early efforts to put mature content in their movies. 

Disney's "Trenchcoat" (1983), starring Margot Kidder from the "Superman" movies is about a professional writer who gets caught up with some plutonium smugglers. And it's a comedy!

"Condorman" (1981) is about a comic book illustrator's attempts to assist in the defection of a female Soviet KGB agent.

"Never Cry Wolf" isn't a dark movie necessarily, but it's the first Disney movie to feature brief full-frontal male nudity, as well as scenes with bare buttocks. 

It's worth mentioning Disney's oddball comedy "Midnight Madness" which Disney produced in 1980. It's Michael J. Fox's movie debut. I wrote about it back in 2019. 

It's not a dark movie, but it is a movie Disney no doubt wants audiences to completely forget about more so than "Song of the South." It's a movie best kept under the Disney rug. 

Among these dark and obscure 1980s films from Disney, "Something Wicked This Way Comes" stands out in my mind above the rest. 

This dark fantasy movie, based on the novel of the same name by Ray Bradbury, takes place in Green Town, Ill. Will Halloway (Vidal Peterson) and Jim Nightshade (Shawn Carson) are two young boys who live next door to each other, and are in the same class. 

Will is a rather reserved and mild mannered kid who has a close relationship with his father, Charles Halloway (Jason Robarbs). Jim is more of a rebellious kid who tends to be impulsive.

Jonathan Pryce in "Something Wicked This Way Comes."

He lives with his single mother, played by Diane Ladd. It's implied that his father walked out on the family. 

The boys were born one minute apart on Halloween. I don't know what significance that plays other than being a small pillar in the foundation of their friendship.

Anyways, a vagabond looking gentleman named Tom Fury (Royal Dano) wanders into town selling lightening rods. He sells a rod to Jim, informing him that it'll protect him from a storm that's moving into town. 

Shortly after that, a carnival makes its way into town. And this carnival is giving off some bad vibes. 

It's operated by a sinister looking guy named Mr. Dark. (Jonathan Pryce). 

Jim and Will notice that the locals seem entranced by this carnival that arrived suddenly and was set up in one night. 

Carnival attendees are enchanted by the attractions. For instance, the local bar owner, Ed (James Stacy) who is an amputee, sees himself in a reflection with his missing arm and leg inside the hall of mirrors.
Their school teacher, Miss. Foley (Mary Grace Canfield) is shown what she looked like in her younger days - a gorgeous young woman, which she really wants to be again. Carnival guests are basically given what the desire most, but at a detrimental cost. 

The boys finally realize what's going on when they sneak into a closed off carousel. There, they witness a local, Mr. Cooger (Bruce M. Fischer) on the carousel as Mr. Dark makes it move backwards reversing Cooger's aging until he turns into a little boy. 

Later, they witness Mr. Fury being held captive by Mr. Dark and his assistant, the Dust Witch (Pam Grier). They torture Mr. Fury about the secret of the upcoming storm.

They boys are spotted, and they both run home to escape Mr. Dark. 

They both sleep in Will's room. During the night, the Dust Witch makes them think their room is being invaded by spiders crawling in through the window and through cracks. 

The lightening rod, however, causes the apparition to disappear. 

The next day, the carnival has a parade through town, led by Mr. Dark. And the towns people who were influenced in some way by the enchantment of the carnival walk within the parade. 

However, Jim and Will think the parade is really Mr. Dark's attempt to secretly search the boys out. After all, they're on to his scheme. 

Mr. Dark confronts Mr. Halloway inquiring about the presence of both boys, the images of whom he has drawn on the palm of his hands. He says the boys won a prize and need to claim it. However, Mr. Halloway suspects Mr. Dark has more evil intentions. He manages to deter Mr. Dark for the time being, and does what he can to protect his son and Jim. 

Vidal Peterson, Jason Robarbs, and Shawn Carson

Watching this movie, which is well paced, engaging, and frightening, makes me want to read Bradbury's novel. 

Jonathan Pryce steals the show. He has an intimidating presence on screen which brings the intensity and true sense of dread necessary to justify the word "wicked" in the title. 

The imagery and plot are truly unforgettable and frightening. Some of it may be too frightening for younger viewers. The movie doesn't pull any punches when it comes to bringing in something wicked onto the screen. 

The atmosphere has a Norman Rockwell style and appeal, but with a dark and sinister tone. 

I was curious how my children would react to this. My oldest son of nine found it too scary. My daughter, seven, found it entertaining. My five-year old found it boring. So, mixed reviews came from my household. 

Vidal Peterson gives a bland performance, however. He doesn't emote much no matter what's taking place in front of him. He's pretty stoic, actually. But he does convey convincing affection towards his father. 

Still, "Something Wicked This Way Comes" is a film that has something to offer its audiences. The age old lessons about the importance of family bonds and conquering evil influences continue on. This movie depicts that in a unique way that can make a positive impression on young viewers.  

The Miracle of Our Lady of Fatima (1952)

"Only the fool saith, 'There is no God'."

Director
John Brahm

Cast

Susan Whitney - Lúcia dos Santos
Sherry Jackson - Jacinta Marto
Sammy Ogg - Francisco Marto
Gilbert Roland - Hugo da Silva
Angela Clarke - Maria Rosa dos Santos
Jay Novello - António dos Santos
Frank Silvera - Arturo dos Santos
Richard Hale - Fr. Ferreira

This is definitely a random movie to jump to just after I reviewed "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World" and "The Cannonball Run." But here it is.

In 1952, Warner Bros. released "The Miracle of Our Lady of Fatima" based on a supernatural event that took place in Fatima, Portugal (a small village at the time) on the 13th day of each month from May to October 1917. 

Shepherd children Lúcia dos Santos, age ten, and her cousins, Francisco (nine) and his sister Jacinta Marto (seven) said a lady “all in white, more brilliant than the sun and indescribably beautiful” appeared to them as they were out in a field tending to their herd. 

They didn't initially claim she was the Virgin Mary. People drew that conclusion themselves at first. 
World War I was raging across the globe in 1917. Among the messages the lady told these shepherd children was that "Russia will spread her errors throughout the world, causing wars and persecutions of the Church. The good will be martyred; the Holy Father (i.e. the Pope in Rome) will have much to suffer; various nations will be annihilated." 

This was unheard of in 1917. Not Holy Mother Russia! What errors did Mother Russia possess that she would spread throughout the world terrible enough to cause wars, famine, and lead to the persecution of the Catholic Church? Little did these children, let alone any of the villagers, know that in a few months, a revolution would erupt in Russia which would overthrow the imperial government and place the Bolsheviks in power. The Russian revolution would reach its climax in the final month of these apparitions in Fatima. 

Of course, scholars more intelligent than I and the rest of us in this room believe these errors refer to Communism. 

The children also said the war was going to end soon (World War I) but a worse war would emerge, which it did in 1939 when Germany invaded Poland. 

It's an immensely bold and unbelievable statement for poor naïve obscure shepherd children, who never left their small village in Portugal, to make. But it was a time, much like today, where anti-religious sentiment (particularly aimed towards Catholicism) was growing and spreading around the globe, even in Portugal. Political uprisings were much too common. Unfortunately, anti-Catholicism (Christianity in general) remains among the last acceptable prejudices.

Despite threats and intimidation from Portuguese government leaders, these children stuck to their story.  

The message of what has been called "Miracle of Fatima" boils down to the importance of prayer and reparation for sin.  

The events are a continued testimony of the Church's continuous fight against secularism and hateful anti-Christian movements which were rampant then and continue full force today. The movie captures the struggle and religious persecution in Portugal as it occurred during this period - the result of the 1910 revolution and the overthrow of the monarchy. This is where the movie begins.

Churches are forced to close at the commands of the secularist government. Priests and religious (monks and nuns) are arrested and treated like criminals for speaking out against the revolutionary ideas. 

Fatima, however, is a small enough village to evade the evil hand of this persecution for some time, at least. The local church remains open, and Catholics still practice their faith. 

Lúcia (Susan Whitney) and her cousins Jacinta (Sherry Jackson) and Francisco (Sammy Ogg) are out tending to their flock. They decide to pray a rosary. But rather than say it properly, they do their own short, short version by shouting "Hail, Mary" along each bead. And hail Mary, they did!

Though the skies are clear, they hear a loud thunderclap and see a flash of light in the distance.

Suddenly, while thinking rain is imminent despite the absence of rain clouds, they see a glowing cloud on top of a small bush. There's a lady standing on top of this glowing cloud of light who starts talking to them.

She asks that they return on the 13th of each month, and to "offer their sufferings to God for the salvation of sinners." She also requests they pray their Rosary for world peace and the salvation of souls. That's easy enough, one would think. 

After they leave, the kids tell their family friend, Hugo da Silva (Gilbert Roland) about their encounter. Hugo, being an agnostic, humors the kids but of course thinks it's just a story from their collective imagination. 

They also tell their parents about the beautiful lady they saw. Lucia's mother, Maria Rosa dos Santos (Angela Clarke) is angry at the story for some reason and forbids her daughter to return to the Cova de Iria where the kids claimed they saw this beautiful lady.

In no time, news spreads among the locals, and then travels outside of Fatima. People from all around come to the conclusion that the children are seeing the Mother of God though none of the children claimed she was Mary. Crowds begin gathering in Fatima to see the children and, perhaps, the Virgin Mary. 

Despite her mother's instructions, Lucia goes back to the Cova de Iria along with the other two as instructed by the lady. 

She tells them that, according to the lady, Francisco and Jacinta will die soon and go to Heaven, but Lucia will live a long life. It's worth pointing out that, in fact, Francisco and Jacinta did die shortly after these events. Lucia, however, became a Carmelite nun and remained a nun until her death on Feb. 13, 2005. 

The local priest, Fr. Ferreira (Richard Hale) isn't so quick to jump on the word of these children. Naturally, he's very skeptical as well as weary about local authorities catching wind of these claims lest their unwanted attention and anti-religious hatred come down upon the village and its church. 

He suggests that if they are actually having visions, it could be the devil appearing as an angel of light in order to deceive. 
The provincial administrator Artur Santos (Frank Silvera) immediately responds to these assertions, and thinks the local priest is responsible. He believes the parish priest is trying to start some sort of revolt, and is using these children as his puppets.

So, he closes the local church until Fr. Ferreira convinces the parishioners that no apparitions of the Virgin Mary have nor will take place. 

Fr. Ferreira asks other priests to inform their respective parishioners not to come to Fatima seeking alleged apparitions of the Mother of God. But, faithful come regardless. And the children continue going to the Cova de Iria on the 13th of each month.

Artur Santos kidnaps the children with bribes, and then threatens to kill them if they don't admit they're lying. 

The children however stick to the their story about the woman who appears to them. 

Instead of killing them, he throws them in jail with criminals and murderers. 

They meet Hugo in their cell. And when the children ask all the inmates to pray with them, despite their initial protests and disdain for prayer, the inmates begin praying a rosary with the kids, much to the guard's surprise. 

Artur Santos is persuaded to release the children since there's no evidence the state can prosecute them on. So, he reluctantly releases them. 

October comes around and the children said the lady, who eventually revealed herself as "the Lady of the Rosary," promised that God would perform a miracle to convince everyone of what the children saw and were told to reveal. And a miracle does take place shocking the entire crowd in attendance - especially Artur Santos and his company who are watching the kids at the Cova de Iria. 

The entire event was capped with a solar anomaly witnessed by thousands of people in which the sun began to grow in size looking like it was heading towards the earth, spiraling in the sky, and changing colors. Those witnesses claimed they were able to look at the sun without averting their eyes from its brilliance. 

It was pouring rain when the sun did this in the sky. After it was over, witnesses claimed their clothes and the ground were completely dry. 

The movie echoes the call for prayer made at Fatima, and the consequences that naturally fall upon ungodly people, leaders, and nations who not only don't pray, but discourage it by any means altogether.  

The story of this Marian apparition is fascinating, even from a historical vantage point, based on what was said and the period in which it was said. Call me bias, but it's worth reading about regardless if one is Catholic or not, or believes these events actually took place or never happened.. 

This movie was made during a period when Hollywood, though certainly far from any religious conviction, at least maintained some respect for it - even Catholicism. 

Now, well... audiences turn mostly to independent filmmakers and Christian film companies for religious-based movies that don't mock Christianity or portray it as some sort of debilitating mental disease simply for going against the tide of current backward social/ political nonsense.   

While the main depictions in this Warner Bros. film are more or less accurate, the story is very condensed so there's significant aspects of the actual event missing. 

The movie still manages to depict the heart of the subject despite various liberties taken in the general story. The character Hugo for instance is a fictional and meant to bring about some lightheartedness and comic relief to the story. 

Thankfully, these creative liberties don't necessarily distract or hinder from the significance of the events portrayed on screen. 

The message was given to children rather than adults or leaders as children wouldn't change or add to it based on their personal political ideologies. 

They're innocent enough to say precisely what it said without fear of "offending" the wrong people or inserting their own agenda. I think that's why this Warner Bros. movie is seldom, if ever, counted or listed among the cinematic classics of the golden age of film. Though it may be well known among Catholic circles, it has become relatively obscure. This movie came out the same year as "Singin' in the Rain," "The Quiet Man", "Ivanhoe," "The Greatest Show on Earth," and "The Snows of Kilimanjaro." The overall message of this event is one that, well, doesn't mix with current political ideologues. Still, the movie exists and does have a following. 

Susan Whitney, Sherry Jackson, and Sammy Ogg.

It's worth mentioning that the events of Fatima were the subject of a 2020 film called, "Fátima" directed by Marco Pontecorvo.
My problem with "The Miracle of Our Lady of Fatima" and most Christian movies in general is that Hollywood tends to over sentimentalize the characters and religious content. 

Catholicism isn't particularly a religion of emotional sentimentalism or one that is meant to appeal to emotions, though emotions have their place. It's a religion that appeals to the intellect and reason while elevating the soul. 

Hollywood back then had a knack for depicting religion as lighthearted, flowery, maybe superficial and as charming as a Rockwell painting. Think of those Bing Crosby movies where he plays a priest. I suppose it's not the worst thing in the world. At least Hollywood back in the golden age attempted to depict Catholicism in an appealing light. In other words, there's no apparent malicious intent. 

Occasionally Hollywood makes serious religious movies such as "The Ten Commandments" and Mel Gibson's "The Passion of the Christ," both of which are great and certainly foundational. "The Ten Commandments" though isn't without boisterous fanfare and over dramatization.

Franco Zeffirelli's 1977 mini-series "Jesus of Nazareth" comes to mind when I say "over dramatization." I think of the scene where Jesus (Robert Powell) raises Lazarus from the dead. Jesus is depicted as performing the miracle like He's performing a mind blowing trick at a sensational magic show, and this is the grand finale. 

Jesus' hands are raised, climatically drawing in power as he stares at the tomb. He shouts, "Lazarus! Come forth!" and out shuffles Lazarus. Personally, I think Jesus simply told Lazarus to arise without needing to put on a show for onlookers. And Lazarus arose.  

But Hollywood loves a dramatic spectacle, even when Jesus is involved. I'd rather have that than oversentimental mushy religious depictions. That's why I didn't care at all for the 2004 movie, "Thérèse" about the life of Saint Thérèse of Lisieux. The sentimentality is lathered on pretty thick as I recall and the characters feel way too artificial.
With "The Miracle of Our Lady of Fatima" there's a hint of that but not too much. The film depicts the suffering and anguish the children and their families had to endure. In one seen, local government authorities try to bribe the children to make them confess they're lying. When that doesn't work, they threaten to drop each of them into boiling hot oil, describing how their flesh will cook right off their bones. 

The movie is a respectable effort in telling the Fatima story despite the elimination of certain facts in the case.

German film director John Brahm is an interesting choice for director. He's directed some film noir stuff like "Guest in the House," "Hangover Square" and the psychological thriller film noir, "The Locket." He also directed Vincent Price in the horror movie, "The Mad Magician." 

Get this, the last movie I could find with Brahm as director is called, "Hot Rods to Hell" from 1967. He also directed some episodes of "The Twilight Zone" and "Alfred Hitchcock Presents." Again, interesting choice. I'd love to dig into this movie's history, and why Brahm was set to direct. 

The real emphasis is on the children sticking to their experience in the face of their tyrannical and God-less government alongside interrogation from their local bishop who didn't want the church to close, and the parish priest to become another prisoner of tyrannical authorities. The movie treats the subject matter and the children delicately and with reverence. "The Miracle of Our Lady of Fatima" deserves an audience regardless of their beliefs and affiliations.

The Cannonball Run (1981)

"Think of the fact that there's not one state in the 50 that has the death penalty for speeding. Although I'm not so sure about Ohio."

Director

Hal Needham

Cast

Burt Reynolds - J.J. McClure

Dom DeLuise - Victor Prinzim

Roger Moore - Seymour Goldfarb, Jr.

Dean Martin - Jamie Blake

Sammy Davis, Jr. - Morris Fenderbaum

Farrah Fawcett - Pamela Glover

George Furth - Arthur J. Foyt

Jackie Chan - Jackie Chan

Jamie Farr - Sheik Abdul ben Falafel
Adrienne Barbeau - Marcie Thatcher

Tara Buckman - Jill Rivers

Terry Bradshaw - Terry

Jack Elam - Dr. Nikolas Van Helsing

Piggybacking off the last star-studded movie I posted about, "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World," which involves famous people and cars, I checked out another star-studded movie that involves famous people and cars - "The Cannonball Run."

But unlike "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World," even with its array of big names, "The Cannonball Run" is a mediocre experience as far as story goes but has a few chuckles here and there. Not many, though. 

In this action comedy, several teams gather in Connecticut to race across the United States. This is in the shadow when the federal government passed the National Maximum Speed Law, which restricted the maximum permissible vehicle speed limit to 55 mph on all interstate roads in the United States back in 1974. It was the federal government's "brilliant" response to the 1973 oil embargo in the hopes it would reduce fuel consumption among motorists. 

The opening credits shows police chasing a Lamborghini as Ray Stevens sings "Cannonball."  The Lamborghini takes time to stop for a moment as a beautiful woman, whom I think is Tara Buckman as the character Jill Rivers, emerges from the car to spray paint an "X" on a 55mph speed limit sign. That pretty much sets the tone for the film. 

The movie follows those teams from beginning to end, in an hour and a half-run time. 

To start with, J.J. McClure (Burt Reynolds) is a famous racer and team owner. He and his chief mechanic and co-driver, Victor Prinzim (Dom DeLuise), decide to drive a Dodge ambulance in the race. However, this meat wagon of theirs is fixed with a NASCAR engine. 

Burt Reynolds and Dom DeLuise in "The Cannonball Run."

Jamie Blake (Dean Martin) is a former F1 driver and experienced boozer who pairs with his teammate and con-artist, Morris Fenderbaum (Sammy Davis, Jr). Together, they pretend to be Catholic priests and enter the race in a gorgeous Ferrari 308 GTS 1979. 
Seymour Goldfarb, Jr. (Roger Moore), a wealthy British ladies' man, also enters the race. He believes he's actually Roger Moore. And since he thinks he's Roger Moore, famous especially for playing James Bond, he drives an Aston Martin DB5 in the Cannonball Run. Moore's fifth Bond film, "For Your Eyes Only" came out just a few days after "The Cannonball Run." 

Anyways, two gorgeous bombshells, Jill Rivers (Tara Buckman) and Marcie Thatcher (Adrienne Barbeau), take to the run in a black Lamborghini Countach. 

Also, a young Jackie Chan and some other guy, played by Michael Hui, drive a computerized Subaru DL 4WD hatchback with a rocket booster engine.

Mel Tillis and Terry Bradshaw (yes... *the Terry Bradshaw) play a couple of good ol' boys who drive a replica of Donnie Allison's Hawaiian Tropic-sponsored NASCAR Winston Cup Series Chevrolet stock car. I had to Google that because I don't know anything about NASCAR. 

Oh, and Jaime Farr (you know... Klinger from "M*A*S*H") plays filthy rich Arabian Sheik Abdul ben Falafel. He drives a white Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow.

The story shifts from team to team as they speed their way to the finish line, coming across different obstacles and funny situations, and are usually evading police somewhere along the route. 

At the starting line, Arthur J. Foyt (George Furth) along with fellow environmentalist Pamela Glover (Farrah Fawcett) try to stop the race. 

I have mixed feelings about this ride. It's like a hacked updated-for-modern-audiences, Reader's Digest version of "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World" minus the buried money, and with quicker pace. 

I think the performances are hit and miss. Some of the actors such as Sammy Davis, Jr., and Dom DeLuise are clearly having fun in their roles. Even Roger Moore is enjoying spoofing himself as Roger Moore/James Bond. In fact, throughout the movie, he's seen driving with a different lady without any explanation. There are five girls to be exact, including model Lois Hamilton. I didn't catch on to this gag until somewhere in the middle of the movie.

Dean Martin doesn't seem to be terribly interested in what he's doing. And Burt Reynolds is just Burt Reynolds. As long as he knows audiences are looking at him, that seems to be all that's important. Jackie Chan has a scene where he does what he does best - karate. He's just as impressive and talented now as he was then. 

Dean Martin, Roger Moore, and Burt Reynolds.

"The Cannonball Run" is very much a product of its time. That's especially true with its dated inside jokes about movies.

Aside from Roger Moore's gag, there's a quip about another Hal Needham movie. 

"What about a black Trans-Am? No, that's been done," Reynolds says referencing the 1977 Pontiac Trans Am he drives in "Smokey and the Bandit." 

Despite being a mediocre movie, the legendary status of these big-name movie stars makes the experience a bit more palatable save for Dean Martin and Sammy Davis, Jr., pretending to be Catholic priests while acting like womanizing boozers. As much as I love listening to these old crooners sing, especially Sammy, their performances are neither funny nor entertaining. I'm not above a little lighthearted satire when it comes things that pertain to me, such as my being a faithful Catholic. Even then, it can be done with a respectful undertone. Their dialogue and jokes are cheap and tasteless.   

I didn't get a laugh out of anything they did.

Veteran western movie actor Jack Elam plays Dr. Nikolas Van Helsing, "professor of proctology and other related tendencies. A graduate of the University of Rangoon and assorted night classes at the Knoxville, Tennessee School of Faith Healing."

His character tags along with J.J. McClure for some reason. Aside from his comical and unfortunate facial features which he uses to his humorous advantage (kind of like Marty Feldman), his character comes out of nowhere. He's just included to add more comedy in case the rest of it doesn't work. His lines and performance barely add to that. Just his appearance does. 

Despite the weak performances, I still enjoyed the cast and the racing. It manages to somehow pass as a fun movie. My feelings were definitely mixed about the entire experience. If it wasn't for the cast, the movie would be completely forgettable. Time, and the movie's cult following, have been its only friends. 

Director Hal Needham is known for directing "Smokey and the Bandit" starring Burt Reynolds, "Cannonball Run II" starring Burt Reynolds, and "Smokey and the Bandit II" starring Burt Reynolds. 

He also directed "Hooper" starring Burt Reynolds, "Stroker Ace" starring Burt Reynolds, and "Hard Time: Hostage Hotel" starring Burt Reynolds. 

Oh, and he directed the "totally awesome" 80s BMX bike race flick "Rad" starring Burt...I mean... Lori Loughlin. So, Needham has a knack for racing movies. 

Somehow, "The Cannonball Run" managed to get a sequel, "The Cannonball Run II." And many of the celebrity cast decided to return for whatever reasons. More money, probably. Burt Reynolds, Dom DeLuise, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr, Jamie Farr, and Jackie Chan all come back for the sequel. Other big-name celebs join in, too, such as Marilu Henner, Telly Savalas, Shirley MacLaine, Richard Kiel and Frank Sinatra. 

Interestingly enough, it's worth noting that the Hong Kong based movie company, "Golden Harvest" produced "The Cannonball Run." Golden Harvest previously produced a variety of Hong Kong action films, especially Bruce Lee movies such as "Big Boss" and "Enter the Dragon." It also had a run of successful comedies starring the Hui Brothers. No wonder Michael Hui appears in this movie. 

It also produced most, if not all, of Jackie Chan's movies. 

In 1980, Golden Harvest began producing films for the international market, and "The Cannonball Run" was one of those movies. It managed to be a hit upon its release. 

I need to mention that Golden Harvest also produced the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles trilogy, beginning with the 1990 film. 

"The Cannonball Run" is a movie that only aged well insofar as the cast is concerned. The rest is a mediocre comedy that relies more on the cast and cars than on the jokes. Or, maybe the jokes just didn't age as well as the rest of the movie. 

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World (1963)

"We've figured it seventeen different ways, and every time we figured it, it was no good, because no matter how we figured it, somebody don't like the way we figured it! So now, there's only one way to figure it. And that is, every man, including the old bag, for himself!"

Director

Stanley Kramer

Cast
Spencer Tracy - Capt. T. G. Culpeper
Milton Berle - J. Russell Finch
Sid Caesar - Melville Crump
Buddy Hackett - Benjy Benjamin
Ethel Merman - Mrs. Marcus
Mickey Rooney - Ding Bell
Dick Shawn - Sylvester Marcus
Phil Silvers - Otto Meyer
Terry-Thomas - Lt. Col. J. Algernon Hawthorne
Jonathan Winters - Lennie Pike
Edie Adams - Monica Crump
Dorothy Provine - Emeline Marcus-Finch
...And a ton of other people!

I've waited a long time to finally sit and watch this movie. I admit I had never seen it before, but I knew the general premise as well as the list of comedians who show up throughout. It sounded like my kind of movie. In case readers hadn't noticed, I have an affinity for classic comedians. 

What I like most about the 1963 epic comedy, "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World" is that it's an epic comedy movie. I mean, this is huge. There's so much packed into it.

It's immense. Very few comedies can accurately claim that claim. It's the chase comedy of all chase comedies. 

Seldom do movies accurately use the term "epic" in their descriptions, especially comedies. This movie is truly epic. 

There are several stories taking place, but they're all tied together for one ultimate goal. 

The movie begins with a speeding car. How appropriate.
Escaped convict, Smiler Grogan (Jimmy Durante), loses control of his car and flies off the road somewhere along California State Route 74. 

Other motorists stop to see if he's alright.

On his dying breath, Grogan reveals to these other drivers that he buried $350,000 in Santa Rosita State Park under "a big W." Then Grogan kicks the bucket - literally, 

The other drivers - Melville Crump (Sid Caesar), Ding Bell (Mickey Rooney), Benjy Benjamin (Buddy Hackett), Lennie Pike (Jonathan Winters), and J. Russell Finch (Milton Berle) - start discussing what to do next. It's a conversation that doesn't involve how to split the money. Each of them goes their separate way to find the buried cash.
Santa Rosita Police Captain T. G. Culpeper (Spencer Tracy) is scheduled to retire. However, he wants to put the Grogan case to bed before he does so. He has all these treasure seekers followed as they each have their own adventure on their respective way to the buried cash. 

There's so much happening in this movie. It's daunting to even try to lay it out. 

I liked this movie right away. Even with its run time of 163 minutes, I couldn't take my eyes off the screen. Actually, I had to watch this in three separate viewings because I couldn't allot enough time to watch it straight through. I want to watch it again because there's so much to see. I'm sure my eyes didn't take it all in the first time.

The cast of who's who in this era's comedy world is amazing. I mean that with all my heart. Amazing! It's mad, for sure. And it's long! It's amazing how long this chase goes on. And if it wasn't for the long line up of who's who in the era's comedy world, it would have been truly maddening in the worst sense of the word. 

There's so much energy and momentum. I don't know what the term "tour de force" means, though I've often heard it used to describe movies. Well, whatever it means, I'm throwing that term in here.

Some of my personal favorite comedians show up for cameos. What's a shame is that they don't stay on screen long enough.

I've heard through various reviews and commentaries that several other comedians were asked to appear in this movie but didn't. Groucho Marx. Stan Laurel. George Burns. Lucille Ball. Jackie Gleason. Bud Abbott. Don Rickles. Harold Lloyd. Peter Sellers. Bob Hope. Evidently, they were all asked to appear, or considered. Or whatever is in between. Oh, what could have been...or might have been, but wasn't...or weren't...or didn't? Whatever.

The dialogue in this movie holds up as hilarious. It's wonderfully irreverent at times. The delivery method among each comedian, along with their unique comedy style meshed together with the other styles, makes the experience anything but dull and dragging. The timing among all the gags is impeccable. It's a major feat to have one movie with so many comedians who work impressively well off each other. They have such impressive chemistry...all of them together! 

Sid Caesar and Edie Adams.

In one scene, when all the treasure hunters are discussing what to do regarding the money, Benjy Benjamin says, "Look! We've figured it seventeen different ways, and every time we figured it, it was no good, because no matter how we figured it, somebody don't like the way we figured it! So now, there's only one way to figure it. And that is, every man, including the old bag, for himself!

"So good luck, and may the best man win," Ding Bell replies.

Benjy turns to Mrs. Marcus (Ethel Merman), J. Russell Finch's loudmouth mother-in-law, and says, "Right! Except you, lady. May you just drop dead!"

Despite the fact that I had to divide this movie into three separate viewings, I can't help but love this movie. For a three-hour movie, there's not one dull moment. It's so on-the-go that it's difficult to keep track of where each of the characters were five minutes ago. 

It's a comedic masterpiece. The comedians who show up cover pretty much each era of American comedy in film and television. The talent spans from silent film comedian Buster Keaton to the Three Stooges, to Jerry Lewis, to Milton Berle, to Don Knotts, to Sid Caesar, to Jonathan Winters. Peter Falk (You know... Columbo) is in this movie. So is Jim Backus. C'mon! He's Thurston Howell III from "Gilligan's Island" and the voice of Mr. Magoo. Anyways, even Ethal Merman is among the crew. 

Even the movie poster is drawn by one of my favorite satirical artists, Jack Davis, whose work is regularly seen in "Mad Magazine." All comedy bases are covered. 

I wrote about ZaSu Pitts a few posts ago, and her comedies from the Hal Roach Studios. She has a cameo as a switchboard operator at the Santa Rosita Police Department. 

Jack Benny shows up for a great cameo, only to be told he's not needed. I wish more people my age knew who Jack Benny was. Those familiar with Jack Benny know who Rochester is. He's in this, too.  

Oh, speaking of Hal Roach, Tom Kennedy plays a traffic in this film. He co-starred with Hal Roach veterans Laurel and Hardy in their movie, "Pack Up Your Troubles." Now, I'm rambling. I love classic comedy so I'm a bit giddy talking about this movie. 

It's a huge comedy. It's the biggest showcase of comedy talent I have ever seen. There's no other way to say it. It works! 

Honestly, I can't think of a word big enough to accurately praise this movie. I might as well just make something up. It's... brimtrescentic! There we go. "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World" is truly a brimtrescentic experience! Brimtrescentic should be a clear enough word.

Escape from Alcatraz (1979) - A San Francisco Cinema Classic

"The prisoners count the hours, the bulls count the prisoners, and the king bulls count the counts."

Director

Don Siegal

Cast
Clint Eastwood - Frank Morris
Patrick McGoohan - Warden Arthur Dollison
Fred Ward - John Anglin
Jack Thibeau - Clarence Anglin
Larry Hankin - Charley Butts
Frank Ronzio - Litmus
Roberts Blossom - Doc
Paul Benjamin - English

While several inmates have attempted to escape Alcatraz Maximum Security Federal Prison in the San Francisco Bay, a year before Alcatraz closed, three prisoners stand out among the others primarily for their elaborate plan to get themselves off the rock. 

Frank Morris, along with brothers John and Clarence Anglin famously escaped from Alcatraz in June, 1962. 

And frankly, I personally think at least one of them, if not all, made it to shore.

Since the three escaped together on the night of June 12, if they all died while swimming in the frigid San Francisco Bay, I would think at least one body would have been discovered. No remains were found.

In a 2022 episode of "Expedition Unknown" covering the escape, host Josh Gates suggests and explores the possibility that the prisoners not only made it to the mainland from Alcatraz, but they also fled the U.S. to the jungles of Brazil where they remained in hiding for years. 

Of course, the episode makes it sound plausible as it presents evidence to suggest such. And maybe they did make it to Brazil. Either way, I think they survived despite the FBI's report claiming the contrary. 

As for the 1979 movie, "Escape from Alcatraz," starring Clint Eastwood and directed by Don Siegel, the film is rather accurate, at least as far as the depiction of the escape. 

The movie starts with criminal Frank Morris (Eastwood) being taken to Alcatraz Maximum Security Prison on a rainy San Francisco night. He's sent to "the Rock" after having escaped from other penitentiaries. 

"Alcatraz was built to keep all the rotten eggs in one basket, and I was specially chosen to make sure that the stink from the basket does not escape. Since I've been warden, a few people have tried to escape. Most of them have been recaptured; those that haven't have been killed or drowned in the bay. No one has ever escaped from Alcatraz. And no one ever will," Warden Arthur Dollison (Patrick McGoohan) tells Morris upon their introduction. 

Little does the warden know, or maybe he knows full well, that Morris has already started preparing his escape right away beginning with his swiping the warden's nail clippers off his desk. 

Clint Eastwood as Frank Morris in "Escape from Alcatraz."

Morris quickly becomes acquainted with other inmates, ultimately to assess how they can benefit him. Still, he sticks close to a few. Doc (Roberts Blossom) is an old-timer on the rock who spends his hard time painting. Doc includes a chrysanthemum in each painting as a symbol of something within that not even the warden can take away. 

During a cell inspection, the warden discovers a painting of himself among Doc's other paintings. As a result, he takes Doc's painting privileges away. This sends Doc over the edge to the point of self-harm. 

Morris also befriends a young new inmate named Charley Butts (Larry Hankin) and an older inmate who calls himself Litmus (Frank Ronzio). Litmus is a man that knows how to get things. 

Morris learns how things work on the Rock thanks to a black inmate called English (Paul Benjamin). He doesn't care for white inmates but respects Morris's determination to break out. 

Morris makes enemies with an inmate, Wolf, who's imprisoned for rape. After Wolf tries to stab Morris with a knife, they're both sent to isolation cells. 

Two brothers named John and Clarence Anglin (Fred Ward) and (Jack Thibeau) show up at Alcatraz for bank robbery. They know Morris from a previous prison sentence and quickly start talking about getting out early. 

The Anglins and Morris, along with Charley Butts, come up with a detailed plan to escape. The back cell walls are weaker than the other two walls. Morris spends his cell time chipping away around the weak air vent which leads to a space behind the cells for piping which the guards don't inspect. The space extends up to the ceiling. They would create papier-mâché masks with flesh colored paint and hair taken from the prison barber shop to fool the guards into thinking they're sleeping in bed while the criminals make their way to the roof during the night hours. They also make a raft out of raincoats and rubber cement to get across the Bay. 

The Anglins and Morris manage to get out of their cells. However, Charley Butts, can't. So, they have to leave without him. 

And the rest, obviously, is history. 

The reenacted story of how the three inmates prepared their escape, carried it out, and whether or not they made it to shore, is the most intriguing part of the movie. The lead-up initially strikes me as mildly paced. Morris has nothing but time. 

The movie doesn't just focus on Morris's escape preparations. It also depicts prison life on the rock. Part of this is necessary as the drive for Frank Morris to work as hard and methodically as he did to escape the "unescapable" Alcatraz. But that depiction is done as realistically as possible to the point of slight monotony. In a way, it's a brilliant method in storytelling. Otherwise, it gives the movie a slow feeling. 

I happen to think it's well paced. I would understand if others thought it's a slow movie. The drab grey stone walls, faded blue prison garb, and dreary downtrodden demeanor of the inmates certainly doesn't help. But, it's prison. And it's not just prison, it's "the rock!" 

Anyways, the characters are memorable. Each inmate carries a different perspective of time on Alcatraz such as the seclusion, the weight of unending observation and punishment, institutionalization, and the taunting and tantalizing city of San Francisco within eyesight of the inmates, but yet so far. Freedom is a few bricks, some fencing, and a dangerous body of water away. The movie depicts this story with careful consideration. 

It takes its time as characters are introduced and develop, and prison time ticks its way towards the movie's namesake. 

Director Don Siegel has directed some other well-made movies including "Dirty Harry" also starring Clint Eastwood, which also takes place in San Francisco. He also directed "Invasion of the Body Snatchers," and another prison movie, "Riot in Cell Block 11." Siegal has a talent for creating tension and gripping scenes in his movies. His directing talent shines within "Escape from Alcatraz." 

This film is accurate as far as the escape is concerned.  

It's not an action packed, guns blazing movie. It stays true to the feel of how that escape went down. It's a fascinating movie in the truest meaning of the word. 

Summer Rental (1985)

"It's three bedrooms and it's on the beach. That's all I know."

Director

Carl Reiner

Cast

John Candy - Jack Chester
Karen Austin - Sandy Chester
Kerri Green - Jennifer Chester
Joey Lawrence - Bobby Chester
Richard Crenna - Al Pellet
Rip Torn - Richard Scully
Richard Herd - Angus MacLachlan

John Candy is one comedian I still miss. He died in 1994 at the age of 43 - the same age I'll be in just a few more months from now. 

I recall being shocked at the news of his death though I was 12 at the time. 

I have seen many a John Candy movie in my time, but "Summer Rental" is a flick I haven't seen until now. 

Though he appeared in several movies before this, "Summer Rental" is considered Candy's first starring role. 

It's a light comedy packed with a lot of talent. Not only does this movie star John Candy, it also has veteran actor Richard Crenna ("First Blood"), Kerri Green ("The Goonies," "Lucus"), a young Joey Lawrence, Rip Torn, and a brief scene with John Larroquette. 

Composer Alan Silvestri, who wrote music scores for some notable pictures such as "Back to the Future," "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" and "Forrest Gump," creates the music for this flick. And legendary comedian Carl Reiner sits in the director's chair. 

In this movie, Candy plays air traffic controller, Jack Chester, who is forced to take a much-needed paid vacation after he nearly causes a mid-air collision followed by an irate outburst all because a fly landed on his radar screen and blocked his view of a plane. 

The only alternative to taking a vacation is being fired from his job. 

So, Jack takes his wife Sandy (Karen Austin), their daughter, Jennifer (Kerri Green) and younger son, Bobby (Joey Lawrence), to the resort town of Citrus Cove, Fla., for some R & R. 

As expected, nothing goes right, beginning with dinner on their first night at a fancy seafood restaurant. 

Before they're even seated at a table, they get bumped in line thanks to a local sailing champion snob, Al Pellet (Richard Crenna). Not only does he cut in front of them, he also orders his entire table the rest of the fresh lobster which Jack was looking forward to having for dinner. 

After several mishaps, including the Chesters initially using the wrong house as their rental, the owner of their summer rental property dies and leaves the property to Al Pellet. 

He and Jack had a few previous unfortunate run-ins before, starting with that dinner. 

Jack offers Al a $1,000 check for another two weeks at the rental. But to spite Jack, Al rips up his check and tells him that he and his family have to get out in a few days.

John Candy in "Summer Rental."

Fed up, Jack challenges Al to a sailing race within the upcoming Citrus Cove Regatta. If Jack wins, Al has to return his check and let him stay in the house another two weeks rent-free. If Al wins, he can keep the $1,000 and he'll take his family back home. So, the race is on. Jack gets the help of local a local dive bar and restaurant owner, Richard Scully (Rip Torn) who has a pirate mentality. He teaches Jack how to sale and lets him use his barnacle covered boat which is in dire need to repairs. 

"Summer Rental" feels like a mix between "National Lampoon's Vacation" (1983) with a little of Neil Simon's "The Out-of-Towners" (1970). 

As Candy told film critic Gene Siskel back in 1986, "We shot it too fast. We were trying to fill a time slot for Paramount." 

It shows! 

The editing is often haphazard and doesn't allow the comedy to progress well. For instance, in one scene, Jack is watching a golf game on TV while the rest of the family are at the movies. He lets the dog inside out of the rain. The dog turns and starts barking as if ordering Jack to go out and bring his bone for him out of the rain. 

Jack goes to fetch the dog's bone when the dog accidentally closes the door, locking Jack out in the wet. 

The audience gets a quick comedic reaction from Candy, and then the scene changes where Candy is back with his family obviously sometime later. These awkward cutaways occur several times in the movie. 

The movie has its funny moments, and John Candy's performance is top notch classic Candy. But it's not the funniest movie of his I've seen. That's mainly due to the poor pace of the movie right down to the sudden ending. 

"Summer Rental" is a modest comedy that's unfortunately put together too haphazardly. The jokes are there, and a lot of them work. The rest could play out memorably well if only the movie would take its time and let the jokes breath. Instead, it plows through the story at a weird pace. 

Nevertheless, I loved watching Candy. It's a significant role for him within comedy career. 

Sitting through "Summer Rental" made me want to revisit John Candy roles and introduce myself to those I have yet to see. 

 

The Lineup (1958) - A San Francisco Cinema Classic

"He pushed me too far! So, I pushed him just far enough."

Director 

Don Siegal

Cast
Eli Wallach - Dancer
Robert Keith - Julian
Warner Anderson - Ben Guthrie
Richard Jaeckel - Sandy McLain
Mary LaRoche - Dorothy Bradshaw
William Leslie - Larry Warner
Emile Meyer - Inspector Al Quine
Cheryl Callaway - Cindy Bradshaw

San Francisco is in my blood. I really believe that, though I was born and raised across the Bay in Oakland. 

My paternal lineage has a long history in San Francisco beginning sometime in the 1880s when my great-grandfather and some great-grand uncles immigrated to the city from Sweden. 

San Francisco's rich past appeals to me. I have some wonderful memories of the city. My grandmother lived in an apartment along Pacific Avenue until sometime during my teen years.

There were parts of the city that were my personal getaways up until I moved out of California in 2007. Walking along the Embarcadero was a primary go-to for me. North Beach, doubly so. Caffe Puccini on Columbus had the best cup of coffee I ever tasted. Seldom did I take BART over to the city and not make a stop in Caffe Puccini's. Unfortunately, it closed its doors a few years ago. 

It's heartbreaking to see what the city's pathetic leadership has done to this wonderful city. 

Anyways, among the city's gems are the classic movies filmed and set in San Francisco. A lot of these classics (those movies shot before 1980) are a unique look back into San Francisco from yesterday. They're a trip to watch. I have a short list of movies filmed and taking place in the San Fran that I plan to watch and comment on. I'm sticking with earlier films, again filmed before 1980, beginning with this hot and heavy film noir, "The Lineup" from 1958. 

In this movie, an international drug cartel smuggles in heroin by planting it on innocent American tourists traveling from Asia. The idea is that they can pass through customs without detection. Then the druggies can grab the heroin from these unsuspecting tourists anyway they can. 

The story begins along the Embarcadero as an American tourist docs in San Francisco. His bag is suddenly stolen just as he gets off the cruise ship. Nothing seems to have changed in the city since then. 

The thief, who happens to be a porter, tosses the bag in a cab. 

Eli Wallach in "The Lineup" (1958).

The cab driver speeds off and hits a cop. The cop still manages to open fire at the cab, hitting and killing the driver causing the car to crash.

As police investigate, they're made aware of this heroin smuggling operation. 

When another stash of heroin surreptitiously crosses the U.S. border, drug trafficker and killer, Dancer (Eli Wallach) accompanied by his henchman, Julian (Robert Keith) and an overly talkative driver, Sandy McLain (Richard Jaeckel) are sent to retrieve the stuff.

Dancer's contact instructs him to snag the drugs from the unsuspecting tourists, and then drop it off inside an antique ship binnacle at the museum inside the Sutro Baths. And the drop-off must be done before 4:05pm. 

Dancer, being the ruthless psycho killer he is, murders three people during his pursuit of the stash. 

He finally makes contact with the tourists who have no idea they're smuggling drugs - a mother named Dorothy Bradshaw (Mary LaRoche) and her young daughter, Cynthia (Cheryl Callaway).

Dancer makes contact with them at the Steinhart Aquarium. 

He puts on a friendly charming act with Dorothy and offers to drive her and Cynthia back to their hotel. 

The drugs are secretly stashed in an Asian doll Cynthia is fond over. 

However, Cynthia found the bag of powder underneath the doll's dress and used it all to powder the doll's face. 

Now, Dancer has nothing to drop off. He kidnaps Dorothy and Cynthia and forces them to accompany him to the Sutro Baths so they can back up his explanation as to where the drugs went. 

Instead of dropping off the bag, Dancer decides to explain to the pickup guy what happened to the drugs. 

The man's reaction isn't what Dancer was hoping for. All the man says is that no one ever sees him, and that now Dancer is "dead!"

Little does Dancer know that the San Francisco Police are on his tail. And the outcome of the tight situation he's in leads to a high-speed chase through San Francisco. 

This is a gritty film that doesn't hold back. There aren't too many movies from this era that depict heroin trafficking, kidnapping, child endangerment, and a psycho murderer. The movie feels ahead of its time for 1958. 

Scene in "The Lineup" filmed on the Embarcadero 
Freeway while under construction.

This is Eli Wallach's second film, and he puts on a ruthless and fantastic performance. I have yet to see a Wallach performance I don't like. He's an actor who never disappoints. His character, Dancer, has an intimidating presence on screen. So much so, the audience waits in anticipation to see Dancer get what's coming to him. Wallach carries the movie the moment he appears on screen. 

I recognize him best as Tuco in "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly," as Don Altobello in "The Godfather III," and as Stratos in Disney's "The Moon-Spinners." 

The movie itself is intense from beginning to end. I mean that literally. It's an entertaining bold film noir that doesn't hold back in its depictions. It becomes more and more intense as the story progresses. 

What makes "The Lineup" a unique San Francisco movie is the array of filming locations. 

This movie was shot inside the Steinhart Aquarium at the California Academy of Sciences in Golden Gate Park, as well as along the Embarcadero, the Cliff House, inside the Sutro Baths, and on the Embarcadero freeway while it was under construction. For those unaware, all that's left of the historic Sutro Baths are ruins as the building burned down in 1966. 

And the Embarcadero Freeway collapsed in the 1989 the Loma Prieta earthquake. 

"The Lineup" is a classic that deserves to be remembered. 

Director Don Siegal has directed some notable films such as "Invasion of the Body Snatchers." He also directed some San Francisco cinema classics - "Dirty Harry" and "Escape from Alcatraz" which both star Clint Eastwood, and both of which I plan to review in this category. 

"The Lineup" is a gem of a film that captures truly significant parts of San Francisco that exist only in history.