Up the Academy (1980) - Comic to Movie #0

"Nobody wants you...or you...or you!"

Director
Robert Downy, Sr.

Cast
Ralph Macchio - Cooch
Wendell Brown - Ike
Hutch Parker - Oliver
Tom Poston - Sisson
Ron Leibman (Shhh, don't tell anyone) -  Maj.Vaughn Liceman 

From Laurel and Hardy (my first post on this blog), I turn my nose and attention at another bastion of American humor-Mad Magazine. Satire at its best.
Apparently, the "usual gang of idiots" over at Mad had the "brilliant idea" of presenting audiences with a "movie." 

Mad Magazine went from being a comic with tales calculated to drive you "mad," to becoming a magazine starting in 1952.
During its long history, Mad has been a board game from Parker Bros., a television sketch comedy show, a huge library of paperbacks read primarily by Americans sitting on American toilets, video games fondly remembered by hardly anyone, and foreign record albums.
Maybe there wasn't enough garbage coming out of Hollywood in 1980, so they had to contribute a little garbage of their own. They apologized shortly after.
Producers managed to get Robert Downy, Sr., to direct this film. And they also got a younger-er Ralph Macchio (pre Miyagi/ My Cousin Vinny days) to star in this, too.
Before I dive into the most "What-me, worry?" sh*tfest out there, I need to say the magazine's mascot, Alfred E. Newman, does not make a memorable live-action character. In fact, live action Alfred is pure nightmare fuel. Obviously being affiliated with the magazine, Alfred's live-action appearance in the movie makes sense. But his appearance in the beginning and end of the movie is terrible and just flat-out weird looking - even for Alfred.
Not only is this movie completely terrible, it seems everyone involved in its production knew just how bad it was. That includes the publishers of Mad.
The plot of this teen comedy is a simple one that surely pulls influence from the movie Animal House released two years earlier.
A group of misfit teens from various walks of life are sent to Sheldon R. Weinberg Military School where they're under the watchful disciplinary eye of Maj. Vaughn Liceman (Ron Leibman).
Liceman, never unaware of what the students are doing or plotting, wants orders obeyed at all times while reassuring them he's really their friend.

Hating the rules, the students begin a search for girls, fun, fun with girls, girls looking for fun, having fun with girls, and having a fun party with girls but without the faculty's knowledge.
One student, Oliver (Hutch Parker), learns his girlfriend, Candy (not the kind found in vending machines) is attending a girls military academy nearby and manages to sneak over for a late night roll. Somehow, as the audience learns, Liceman spied on them and snapped a few Polaroids for the sake of proof.
Oliver's father happens to be a politician running for a political office. So, Liceman's intention is to use the pictures against Oliver and his dad unless Oliver can hook him up with Candy. It's a weak plot that seems to be written as the movie goes along.
Oliver and the other boys form a plan to lure Liceman into a trap. 

During a dance, Candy (who's in on the trap) gets Liceman to meet her in secret under the impression that the two will...you know...hook up before she has to head back to her academy.
She gets Liceman into an scandalous situation as the other students surreptitiously take pictures of him.
Of course, he wants those pictures just as they want his pictures of Oliver. 

They finally agree to a soccer game - winner gets all photos. How soccer became an integral part of the plot is beyond me. Like I said, the movie writes itself as it continues on.
The humor doesn't rise above what the producers believed teens of 1980 would find funny - drugs, sex, and old people farting. 

Mixed in are a few off-color ethnic stereotype quips. At other times, the humor is dry, forced, and predictable - i.e., a blind barber giving bad haircuts, a turd floating in a punch bowl.
To be fair, I did laugh at a few random moments. I think that was accidental, though. Still, even writers at Mad Magazine can come up with better jokes and satire than what the movie threw up on audiences.
And the plot, as simple as it is, is just everywhere.
The entire movie reminded me of a high school play, written by high school students, all the way down to the dialogue, delivery, and acting.
The humor barely tried to be genuinely funny. And the racial stereotype humor is just plain awful.
From what I've been told, some actors attempted to get their name pulled from the credits including actor Rob Liebman. He even threatened to sue to take his name off the credits. God bless them for trying to redeem themselves after what demonry they took part in.
To the movie's credit, the soundtrack is memorable, but only because it includes songs by legendary performers such as Blondie, Pat Benatar, and Sammy Hagar, though Hagar's "legendary" status is debatable.
Unlike the magazine, this movie doesn't parody anything really aside from life at a Military Academy. It could have taken a much larger jab at school life, or the military. Instead, it chose to create a bunch of typical teenage shenanigans with very little creativity to try and make it memorable and hilarious.
Meanwhile, the powers that be at the magazine paid Warner Bros. to remove all references to Mad upon the movie's video release. In fact, the magazine's publisher at the time, William Gaines, sent out apology letters to anyone who wrote in to piss and moan about the movie. He wanted the magazine to continue maintaining what little integrity had.
And in true Mad fashion, they had a parody of their own movie. In Mad #218, the writers presented "Throw Up the Academy."
To the magazine staff's credit, the parody comic was cut short as it covered only two pages since the writers thought the movie was so bad, it didn't deserve an entire spoof. The writers also published a note that jokingly claimed the entire staff quit as the movie was that bad.
Thousands upon thousands of people lost out on $3  - the average price of a movie ticket in 1980. But like so much other tasteless crap, Up the Academy has somehow developed a cult following.
Yet, somehow this movie still has a spark of likeability. Maybe it's the nostalgia. Maybe it's the name Mad. 
As the words sprawled across Mad issue #218 read, "You could do worse...and you always have!"

Film Fact Thingy:  A young Robert Downey, Jr. was an extra during the soccer game scene. If you're bored enough to try and look hard, you might see him. You don't win any prizes if you seem him though. Here's a cheat video for anyone bored, but short on time - www.youtube.com/watch?v=euBBk3VjsYE

Pack Up Your Troubles (1932)

"Would you happen to tell us where Mr. Smith lives?"

Director
George Marshall, Raymond McCarey

Cast
Stan Laurel - Stan
Oliver Hardy - Ollie
Don Dillaway - Eddie Smith
Jacquie Lyn- Eddie's baby


It's absolutely fitting to start this blog off with a Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy film. I recently saw the 2018 film Stan and Ollie -a fantastic film - and decided I wanted to bring some attention to this movie of theirs.
I don't know if they're the first comedy duo in Hollywood history, but they're surely close. "Two minds without a single thought." 

I watched a great deal of Laurel and Hardy in my youth as my dad had a collection of their movies. AMC also often aired their short films when the cable network played mostly classic movies no recent than the 1960s. They even ran Laurel and Hardy marathons.
Generally, L&H movies carry the same sort of story structure. Laurel (the dim and skinny one) and Ollie (the pretentious, fat, and 'smart' one) end up in different situations so the audience can see just exactly how they'll handle it. The due have played their own offspring in the short Brats. They stayed aboard a haunted ghost ship in The Live Ghost. They famously hoisted a piano up a long flight of stairs in The Music Box, for which they won an Academy Award for best short. And they did some time in jail for selling some home-brewed alcohol in Pardon Us.

Their comedy is often dated - no fault of theirs, of course - but that's no negative mark against these guys. 

But one L&H film stands out in my mind as being different when compared to their other work.

Scene from Pack Up Your Troubles with former child actress Jacquie Lyn,
along with Oliver Hardy and Stan Laurel.

Their movie Pack Up Your Troubles, the team's second feature length film, includes subject matter a bit more serious and dramatic when compared to other slapstick movies where audiences see the two find the comedy in ordinary situations.

They're comedy routines are the same in this movie, and it brings in some laughs. But overall, it's a solid mix of tragedy as well, the likes of which I can't compare to anything else these two have done.

The movie starts in 1917 as we see Stan and Ollie sitting in a park- the usual shot of two minds without a single thought between them. 

Ollie folds up a newspaper with headlines on the world war. 

"Gee, I wish I could go," he says to Stan.

With a confused look on his face, Stan asks, "Go where?" 

"Why, to war!" 

"Well, why can't you go?" 

"There you are! I knew you'd take that selfish attitude," Ollie says. "Why, I'd go in a minute if it wasn't for my flat feet."

Ollie's wish is on it's way to becoming true as he spots an Army recruitment officer marching right towards him. Ollie tells Stan to act nonchalant just before he jumps up and runs away. 

Stan finally follows, but there's no running from the draft. 

We get a dose of their comedy seeing just how inept the two are as World War I soldiers in basic training and combat.

During their time in the service, they become friends with a soldier named Eddie Smith.

Smith has a visit from his little girl, and receives a "Dear John" letter from his wife who tells him she never loved him, and that he should not attempt to follow her. Ouch, lady! Smith has one major concern in mind. That is, what to do with his daughter. 

Sadly, Smith is killed in action, leaving his daughter an orphan. We don't know why the child isn't left with her mother.
But Stan and Ollie take it upon themselves to take Eddie's daughter to her grandparents. 

Once they're out of the Army, they find the girl living with abusive foster parents. They take her from her foster care despite the legal ramifications they'll get into, obtain a phone directory to search for all the Smiths in the area in the hopes of finding Eddie's parents.

They go from Mr. Smith to Mr. Smith looking for Eddie's father. And a lot happens in their search, including disrupting a wedding, running into an angry boxer, and just trying to care for a child while their search carries on.

However, Child Welfare approaches them with questions about the child in their possession to which they have no legal right.
Stan and Ollie hastily do what they can to flee and find Eddie's parents fast.

The movie did make me laugh several times, particularly one scene where Stan and Ollie, working as trash crew, misunderstand instructions from the Army cook and end up taking trash bins into the General's Quarters. They're locked up in the stockade as a result, along with the same cook. The comedy comes out in both the dialogue and the physicality of the two. And it doesn't distract from the drama of the story.
The film is an original through and through, even among other L&H pictures. It deserves more attention because, as a comedy, it really goes outside the box of both L&H routines and comedy in general, especially for that period.
I could easily see this story line turned into a modern picture, but if that happened, it would most likely be a botched mess.
Despite their normal methods and standards of story telling, the boys fit into the plot very well.
This is a great movie - dated humor, and yet still wonderful. I find the story line very intriguing, and appreciate the drama mix with the comedy. This movie is quite a shift for L&H, but is accomplished well.

Film fact:

Actor and comedian Billy Gilbert, who appeared in a number of Laurel and Hardy films including their famous short film The Music Box, also provided the voice of Sneezy in Walt Disney's Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.